Lustful Silence

I look up at the clock.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I try not to let the never-ending corrupting thought of his hands on my skin. I try not to understand when these thoughts started to begin. I'm not sure, do I want these thoughts to end? Is he thinking the same things I am?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock

His cologne fills my lungs and I'm at ease. It's almost like my mind is on it's knees, telling me please please. Pay attention to me. His lips on mine, and a few other places. I think of other things to fill up the empty spaces. School. Family. Friends.

But all I can think about is him.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It's 3am now, and my mind is becoming loud. I try not to think too much, because it's not right. At first I had my trust in him, but now I have my lust in him. I cry at the sight, losing myself all because of my desires. My mind travels to my heart, and creates fires.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I pray for forgiveness, but I feel no different. I'm still feeling the desire of his skin on mine, and it's the only thing I want.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Am I a bad person because I feel this? Is it better if I try to hide it? Does God ever look at me and cry? All because of the human touch by some guy.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I'm out of breath.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Stop thinking of him.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Is anybody there?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Hello?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Silence.