The road I walk

This is how life feels.

This road I walk

Begun 16 years ago

And nowhere close to done

 

Built in it's infacy

Out of whatever the builder could get

By the time it was five

It started getting solid

 

A beautiful road for many years

It winded over mountains

High up in the sky

I would walk it with friends

Always by my side

 

But then it started to dip

As we entered a valley

And I came down off the mountain

Just to find I was all alone

 

I was terrified

And I kept following the path

Having no idea what I was doing

But seeing no other choices

 

Along the way I found some hills

And on these hills were the people

Who would help me through the next three years

 

As we climbed back up

On to a small cliff

Above the valley, all seemed ok

 

But as time went on

Many of these new friends drifted away

Until I was once again alone

 

Out in front of my view now sat

A jungle, a violent place

But I saw the many hills and mountains

And hoped my path would follow those

 

First I had to descend into the jungle

Though I did not want to

I was being compelled forward by time

 

Immeadiatly I found myself in a canyon

With walls growing ever higher

And only the occasional glimpse of sun

It was here that I first met her

And the rest of them

My future saviors, or so I hoped

 

And with there help

I slowly climbed my way out

And found myself back on solid ground

 

Through more valleys than hills

We truged on through this wilderness

But then came some of thems time

And they departed for a new adventure

 

As they left new allies were found

New friendships born from the rubble

 

As I journeyed

I walked closer and closer to her

Though she did not walk closer to me

 

I took her hand and led her up

But I now know it was her leading me

 

As we reached the peak of the highest mountain

I looked to find her still below

And though I waited

She never seemed to reach me

 

And then the time came

When she decided it was no more

And left me to find my own way

 

Suprised, I tripped and rolled down the mountain

Landing face down in a hole

Deeper than any I'd ever seen before

 

And as I walked through this hole

The air got heavier

And none of my friends could lift me out

 

But eventually I came to a ramp

And I slowly truged my way back up

I never quite made it to the

Ground again, but I got close enough

 

And now it has come time

That I can see the end of the jungle

Though it is far away yet

And I hope for no more drops

No more suprise valleys or canyons

Along my way

 

But I know in my mind and heart

That there will always be another dip

On this road I walk

Reviews

[Althelia Marie Caine]

Wow Jake:) Your actually a better poet than I thought you were:) That is coming from a friend that knows you:) Good job!!!! You should write me a poem about a puppy:)

[Peter Joseph Swanson]

Wonderful!

[lost?]

Nice job.

A stylistic possibility: the metaphor might be better if you wrote it just as a straight story about how the speaker walked through the canyon, found this girl, and walked out. If don't say that it's a story of the speakers life, I think people will still understand the comparison, and it might make it more powerful/interesting.

[Tasha]

This was very good Jake, I hope the road gets even more easier as you walk. A really good write!!