Flourished Druggie, Falter

first poem i've written to completion in about 8 months. guess why.

They say fly shame, fly--

Watch in dim parking garages as walls hurry together, matching at concrete seams selling a line of cornered space, culling from murmered curves the caress, or like plastered plants, they digress.

Encased in cars, stalked like thieves, arrival to place—denial displaced back along some dreamy highway traveling faster along some dreary synapse flaking away beneath all the encrusted treason waiting to melt, to delay, and to shine, shine on, grime on—garbagemen paid quite a bit, and therapists too.

Examine air above the smoke, like trapeze artists among the sore, soaring toward floor with shuttered stain sprawled over the brain, wind shudder makes nothing of the knife—nothing of the farmer wishing to explore—nothing of the old men waiting by the door, wishing you good night, sleep slight—

What has bound them together binds them and smothers, smooth and within, a sweet, sallow pin.

And a contradiction unknown quivers with glee on the stark, stolid throne.

Reviews

it seems like you've been waltzing in a dream for forever and ever and ever.
maybe you woke up.

[Laura E. Aranda]

I really think you should write more and publish them on here....I hope Writerscafe doesn't crash again but we all had to pick up the pieces and start over again......cheers,lea

[Que]

I have to admit, it is a good poem to make your come back with. But, since I'm a bit honest (surprising, I know) I also have to admit it's not "the best." I do kind of remember other poems written by you, although I can't say I know what the words were, just that I liked them. So, I do hope you're working on writing more now that whatever reason you haven't written is slacking/finished.

Good Luck in Life and Dreams,
Que

[Annelise]

This is quite simply.... amazing. It begs to be read out loud. Absorbed and pondered upon. The flow of your words are impecable. This is not the easiest to read straight out. You cannot grasp all the layers at once. It requires at least a second reading. Deserves a third. You have got a humongous talent.

"What has bound them together binds them and smothers, smooth and within, a sweet, sallow pin.

And a contradiction unknown quivers with glee on the stark, stolid throne."

This is chilling and awkwardly beautiful all in one breath.

[k n o x ;; L.E.Whitman]

Great, I love the use of words, most writers use very simple words when writing peoms, just to make the easier to rhyhm (spelling?). (Sorry, horrible at speling, and too lazy to use a spell check.) Not usually much into poetry, but I enjoyed this one.

The only thing that I didn't like is the way it's formatted makes it harder to read as a peom. As I read it, in my head of course, I began to realize I was trying to read it as a story instead of a poem. That may just be me, since I have trouble concentrating, but over all, I like it.

Great work.