1 The Dream

Chapter 1 Meeka has a disturbing dream.

THE DREAM

 

    Night had spread her dark blanket over the sky.  All was peaceful. The crickets sang their song that only they understood.  A circular meadow of soft, green grass lay in the middle of a dark wood. In the center of the grove sat a young man. The boy was in a relaxed state, his mind clear. Softly, he incanted the words of magic that kept his body levitated a few inches above the ground. The secret grove was his, created by his hard work and spell casting. This was his safe haven, the place he called home, though  he had a room at the schola like every other student of magic.  He had achieved the rank of the Gray Robe at the age of fourteen and was now almost at the next rank. Lying back, he let his mind wander to that time, two years ago, when he had achieved his current rank.

   

    The day had been a good one for him from the start. Waking with the sun, he arose and dressed in his tattered beige robe. Looking in the mirror, he brushed his raven colored, shoulder length hair and washed his face. Hearing a knock on his door, he walked swiftly across the room to see who was there. On the other side was Meeka.

           

    "Morning, Gen. Ready to go?" Meeka asked with a large smile, her hand set playfully on her hip.

        Gen tried to keep a straight, solemn face, took one look at Meeka, and lost all control of the expression. Meeka had been his friend since the first day he had arrived at the schola, and she could always make him smile.

 

    He managed to blurt out a quick "Morning," before she snatched his hand and dragged him down the hall. As he tried to catch his feet up to her speed, he mumbled, "Do we have to hurry?"

    "Yes," she exclaimed back at him, "we can't be late!" 

    She was just as eager as he was to get to the chamber where the ceremony was being held, but his body was protesting for putting it through this much exertion without having eaten first.  With an abruptness that startled them both, they arrived at their destination.

    "This is it," Meeka stated, as her demeanor grew somber. She glanced over at Gen, her green eyes glistening. "Are we ready?"

 

    "Let's go," said Gen. The stern look had returned to his face.

    They entered the chamber, hands still clasped together. This was a big day for both of them. They had achieved their new rank at almost the same time, so the teachers had decided to hold a rare, double ceremony.  

    The two walked down the main aisle toward the circular, elevated stage in the center. The schola's Headmaster stood calmly, waiting on the stage.  Gen and Meeka bowed low before him and rose at his command. Their teacher smiled at them and then turned away to address all those present.

    "These two students have studied long and hard this past year to achieve one goal, the Gray Robe; now all their work pays off."  He turned to the two standing before him and said, "Take off those tattered robes and assume your proper place."

    They promptly removed their robes, not embarrassed by their nakedness, although it took all Gen's self control to keep from looking at Meeka. The teacher presented each student with their new robes, and they dressed hurriedly. Gen's eyes drifted around the room at the faces of the crowd. Thomas wore a grin that was almost ear-to-ear. He nodded and winked. Next, his eyes met Aaron's. Aaron wore a look of pure hatred. He spit on the ground and pushed through the crowd toward the exit. Gen looked down sadly and sighed. Aaron had hated him since he and Meeka fell in love. Jealousy must be a powerful emotion, thought Gen. He looked at Meeka and forgot about Aaron. She looked beautiful as ever in the new robe, her reddish, auburn hair shown in the sunlight streaming through the temple windows. Her green eyes flashed with excitement and her cheeks were blushed from the applause from the crowd.

        The memory left him and he sank slowly down to the ground and into a deep sleep.

 

        When he awoke the next morning, he was surprised to find Meeka asleep in his arms.  He didn't stir, didn't want to wake her.  This was not the first time he had found her here with him upon wakening, but it was the first time she had let him hold her.  Looking down into her hair, he realized that he felt very good with her in his arms.  Closing his eyes, he was almost asleep again when he felt her stir and wake up.

        "Good morning," she said softly.

        "Yes, it is," he replied, with a whisper at her ear.

        She turned to face him. "I had a strange dream that you were in trouble," she explained as she gently touched his face, running her fingertips over his cheek, "It was so real... I had to find you so that I knew you were safe."

        "I see you found me."

        "I'm glad I did," she replied contently as she settled back against him.

 

        They were both silent for a time enjoying each other’s warmth and closeness.  "We'll be late for class," Meeka said suddenly, realizing that it was mid-morning. "We should go."   "Yes, we should," Replied Gen. Gently he took his arms from around her waist and sat up. Meeka sat up and stood, stretching. Gen followed her example. The sun was just starting to peek over the tops of the tall trees surrounding the grove. He reached for her hand and they walked out of the woods and onto the trail, hidden from all eyes save his and hers, by a basic illusion.

        "Tell me more about this dream," Gen asked, interested, as they walked.

        "I'd rather not," she replied hastily, "Besides, it's fading now," although the fear in her voice suggested otherwise.

        Gen knew not to push the matter. She would tell him when she was ready. He looked over at Meeka and noticed how dirty and disheveled she looked. The pine needles in her hair somehow suited her though. Her deep green eyes flashed in the captured early light and he smiled.

        "What are you smiling about?"

        "You are so lovely with all those needles in your hair." She blushed at his words and he smiled again.

        "We better clean up a bit before we go to class or the teacher will take the brush to us." Meeka said jokingly. The two walked on in silence till they reached the walls surrounding the schola. They entered the west gate and walked toward the bath house.

        "Come on, I'll draw the water and you get some towels."

        "Yes, Milady. Is that all Milady?" Gen asked trying to raise her spirits.

        "Why yes, good sir. That should do for now." she answered, a coy smile appearing on her lips. "Now scoot, before I think of something else for you to do."

        Gen left the main room of the bathhouse in search of towels while Meeka started pumping the water into the tub and singing the spell to heat the water enough to bathe in.

        Gen returned to find a naked Meeka lying in the large, tile-lined tub, steam raising from its surface.

        She looked up at him, casually pinning up her hair and displaying her comely figure. "Come on then, Gen. Stop staring and get in," she ordered, and with a sly grin she added "And close your mouth."

        Gen was stunned. Who was this newer, bolder Meeka? He didn't ponder this long. The sight of her young firm body was just about too much for him to handle. Taking off his robe, he stepped into the hot water, ever aware of Meeka's eyes following his every move. Meeka stared at Gen's nude form. He looked so frail with his robes on, but now that she could look at him she saw that he was nothing but muscle. Though he was very wiry, all his muscles were dense and he reminded her once again of a cat with his movements. She smiled a bit. Where did he come from? She knew that his past hurt him to talk about and had not pried into it much. She knew he would tell her when he was ready. As he settled himself into the hot water, Meeka moved into his arms.

        "Tell me that you'll never leave me." Meeka said, the fear unexpectedly returning to her voice.

        "I'll never leave you," Gen said seriously. They had played this before but this time he meant it, and she knew.

        Relaxing, she gave herself entirely into his care. He washed her back and neck and poured water from a pitcher over her hair rinsing all the dirt and needles, from the night before, into the clear water. Then she took the washcloth and returned the favor. She loved him. She knew that now. The dream had told her that much. She couldn't stand the thought of him leaving her. She only hoped that he felt the same.

        "Tell me about your home." Meeka said as she relaxed in the hot water. Gen's face turned somber and he was silent for a long time. She thought maybe he wouldn't respond but eventually he spoke.

        "My father was a merchant. We never really had a home to speak of. Memories of my time with him are filled with ships and the vast ocean, so beautiful and yet so terrifying at the same time." He was silent again and his eyes were distant. "After my father was....after he passed away. I grew up in a small village in the mountain region of Napaj. Life was hard but I learned a lot. When I turned twelve the village elders gave me the option to leave. I felt that I should go. The others my age hated me for I was not a native to those lands. I left on a ship with Master Shingami and arrived here. The rest you know." Gen looked down at the cooling water and sighed. He knew he was being rather vague with Meeka, but if he told her the things that he had done in his childhood she might leave him. It was best she never know.

        "At least you have seen the world. I don't remember much before coming here. I remember the great forests of my homeland. I remember seeing my father, his face covered odd symbols drawn in blue paint. When he didn't come back the next day, my aunt and uncle took me here and left. I was six when I arrived here and all I have left from my father is his last name." Meeka looked down as well but Gen could see the tears running down her cheeks. He moved across the tub and placed his hand on her cheek, ever so gently. He tilted her face up and looked into her eyes. He kissed her tears away and then softly kissed her lips.

        "I love you. I will never leave you." He said as he stared into her deep green eyes. He held her close till long after the water had grown cool.

 

Author's Note

I know there are lots of problems still. This is all still pretty rough.

Reviews

[Benjamin Martinson]

I would have to agree with Nocturne about the style of writing. It may seem a small thing, but it does make a difference. It is fixable though.

Another thing I noticed is the lack of information. I just read an entire chapter of your story, and still have no idea what it is about. There are some other details I want answered too such as: what does the gray robe mean, who is Aaron, is also jealous that Gen became a Gray robe before he did, is the school or schola they are going to great, good, or just enough to get things done? These are all details that could help the story, and could sate the reader's curiosity or even fan it, if the paragraph is written correctly..

[Nocturne]

Since you said it's still pretty rough, I won't nit-pick at the little things, but just go over a few things that caught my eyes.

It begins with the infamous mirror scene. Please no. I guess after reading all those not-so-great fantasy books, I just have a severe allergic reaction to any use of mirrors (or ponds, or reflective rocks and armor) to describe the characters appearance. It's cliche, let's leave it at that.

Reading over this, it might be a good idea to focus on on your use of "to be" verb ("was", "were" etc) and adverbs (if it ends with -ly delete it). Using "was" creates passive and static description. Making the same line into an active sentence would really make the story more dynamic and interesting. As for adverbs, they tend to follow lazy writing. An adverb can usually be replaced by a stronger verb with no loss. Examples:

She was just as eager as he was to get to the chamber where the ceremony was being held, but his body was protesting for putting it through this much exertion without having eaten first.

could be

He wanted to get to the chamber for the ceremony as much as she did, but his body protested moving so much without having eaten first.

and:

Meeka said jokingly.
Hearing a knock on his door, he walked swiftly across the room to see who was there.

to

Meeka joked.
Hearing a knock on his door, he walked(/rushed/hurried/hastened) across the room to see who was there.

Just a few quick thoughts. I think you have a good thing going here, so these are just a few thoughts about the sentence structure and other things that usually don't seem to matter that much, but actually do influence the read.

Good luck writing this!
Cheers for the read,
Naiya