Wildly Designed

I share my thoughts and myself because I have a great life even when I dont deserve it, Ive gone through alot of ups and down yet im still standing up.

I am passionately wild

Easily riled 

But often beguiled

I’m an open book

Don’t be spooked 

What you’ll see isn’t gobbledygook

I march in the beat of my own drum

Consistently venturesome

Evokes my equilibrium

My quiet space

is what shadows my craze

take it away, you’ll see hell raised

I write to calm my mind

Often separating myself from mankind

Because I am wildly designed.

Reviews

[aLittlePain]

Yeah! This is dope, unapologetic voice, slick rhyming. R xo

[Neal S]

I love this poems quirkiness. A lovely mix of fire and calmness. Nice work!

[Fahmida Mehreen]

"I’m an open book
Don’t be spooked
What you’ll see isn’t gobbledygook"

Marvelous lines. Bizarre thoughts with perfect imagery.

[JainieJane]

Thank you really appreciate youre response!!! I like saying gobbledygook just cause it doesnt sound like a word ahha.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

It is an ornamental word. We all have that one or two words that our pretty little minds make up. Thus, sounds perfect.

[sinNsincerity]

An open book... Let's knock off the dust and take a peek! hehe
Nicely said Jainie.

[JainieJane]

sounds like you're calling me old, but thats okay I could still pass for 19, nothing like a fine aged wine that is my mind.

[sinNsincerity]

I would never ;)
I meant it in such a way that if I don't take the time to get to know you the dust will build up figuratively speaking.
Hey, I'll be thirty in two years, so I'm getting there.

[Wølfy]

gobbledygook

[JainieJane]

I don't look my age, I get hit on by 17 year olds haha so that word doesnt offend me....I use old words to be creative, I dont write how I normally speak and vice versa...And I was kidding

[sinNsincerity]

At least you get hit on...
People think I'm 18, so I feel you on that one.
If i were to guess, I would say that you are 26?

[Wølfy]

At least you two get hit on...no one hits on me. xD

[JainieJane]

Im a pretty alright lookin chick, what bothers me is, sometime thats all guys see. Anyway im 32 nearing 33, the older i get, the more I crave deep, sometimes profound conversations...Getting hit on isnt want its crack up to be, I dont consider myself smart but I sure aint just a piece of meat.. :/

[sinNsincerity]

I'm not to far behind you then.
And that's most guys, but not all. I just think people in general don't know how to hold a conversation anymore which is a bummer.

[JainieJane]

Yes I can agree not all...but I sure have come across a lot more than I can count.....but we live in a shallow generation and I blame it on that!

[Wølfy]

I concur. It is like trying to explain Schrödinger's cat to people.

[sinNsincerity]

I'm sure of it. When I'm at school walking to class, I see all types of weirdos following women around hollering nonsense while the women says I have to get to class and the dudes still don't get the hint. I think people like that are simply shameless, but dudes like that have and always will be around. It's quite sad.

[JainieJane]

I had a teacher hit on me hahha that was the funniest.

[sinNsincerity]

What the hell?
What did you do?

[JainieJane]

He was actually nice, he tried helping me by trying to have study sessions with me but cancelled 3 times then finally he just said to try my best on the final and after that he wrote me an email saying that he passed me and that he wasnt my teacher anymore and if we could grab a bite haha

[sinNsincerity]

Wow hehe, you see, no shame.
So what are you studdying, or are you done with school?

[sinNsincerity]

**studying

[JainieJane]

yeah I'm done, I studied graphic design...I dont know how to write but I want to be a writer, I'm horrible at structure, even sometimes grammar but I have all sorts of ideas, I want to develope! You?

[sinNsincerity]

That's pretty awesome, what kind of things have you designed?
No worries, when I began writing, I didn't have a dam clue of what I was doing either.
When I graduated high school, I actually attended Le Cordon Bleu to become a chef, but before I could finish, my parents had separated and had to help out with things and leave that dream behind and get a regular job. I never wanted to write and hated to read, but I had reached a breaking point and I believe it was God who told me to start writing about all I have been through.
I then decided to go back to school and get my degree in English, so that I could better my writing skills and enhance my poetry to new heights. As high as the heavens! Don't doubt yourself. From what I have read, I would say you're on the right path. Just don't ever stop writing!

[JainieJane]

ha interesting...thats what made me interested in writing actually, I've gone through alot i mean alot that I must share with the world because I also believe God was me to share Him to the world through my experience and walk with HIM...

[sinNsincerity]

And I admire you for that, He has led our lives down this path for a reason on purpose. I don't ever question that even when those close to me do. Writing is all I have and I was blessed with it.

[JainieJane]

I do believe that too! And youre good at it!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Jane, my writing is still not where I want it to be, but I'm getting closer. I'm just afraid to let everyone in and see the darkness that eats me away. It is such a difficult task to recollect memories I've tried so hard to suppress. But a lot of pain comes with being happy and that's something I continue to work on...

[JainieJane]

suppressing it will only give you mental repercussions. I've gone through alot im not ashamed of what ive gone through but to some it up, Ive experienced being homeless, family and friends turning their backs on me when I needed them the most...losing everything I owned...a huge mental break down...But through it all God has restored me in all levels of my pain and I'm at a place where im tired of letting the devil rain over my life and thats why I will put up the fight and write the story of my life and show how My God is so real the devil will be left with fear! I know I have my faults but the devil cost most of it ahhah figuratively and spiritually speaking~ I share myself because I want God to be known, meaning what He has done in my life!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for sharing that with me, I need to hear that because I have been homeless and lost all I had. By keeping faith, all those things that were lost were for not. The devil is out to destroy our faith and I don't worry about that anymore because I'm not in the driver's seat- just along for the ride and I do my best to bring joy into this world by any means necessary.
I totally understand where you are coming from and I believe in you and what you can accomplish with your writing.

[JainieJane]

Well I can tell you this much last year when I was homeless, I had nothing but the clothes on my back I swear to you! And this year I was able to find a job, I was able to buy a decent car, I pretty much just shop with my paychecks, God restored me way beyond what I had before I even became homeless, Thats the kind of God we serve....I never went hungry when I was homeless, the scripture has said even the fawl of the air God feeds what more His children. Its funny I use to say if ever I become homeless, I would be a rich one and sure enough I was because I had people coming up to me always offering to take me out...everyday I ate good. So I can tell you if you let God be the driver, you'll see how He'll shape your life and its quite unbelievable!

[sinNsincerity]

I'm glad things have turned around for you and it has for me. I've learned to be humble and appreciate that little things. I don't ask for too much anymore, but to be happy and alive.
So, how's you day going so far?

[JainieJane]

my problem was a little different, before I became homeless I actually went mad and gave all my stuff away...gosh I had so much shoes, clothes, paintings hahaha....I had a very surreal spiritual awakening and nothing mattered to me anymore.....I use to be materialistic i guess and in some ways I still am but I dont care for it now....I'm just in a position where I can buy things and its amazing because God always gives me so much. I do try to give to charities also and once in a while I do tend to go mad still and I channel it by spending a portion of my paycheck to make goody bags for the homeless...back in June I went to Seattle and gave goodybags there...im planning to do it in a few weeks around where i live.....ahhh my day is alright just working..yours?

[sinNsincerity]

Madness is and adventure itself that comes and goes. At least for me. And I think I still a have a few left in me hehe. The voices would scare me and I would isolate into total darkness. But that's when I would ask God to guide me and placing my faith for whatever was or is to come.
I think that's really cool of you giving to charities and helping those in need. I never gave to charities, but when I was really involved in church while living in East Lost Angeles, I would collect cloths and food for people. I miss doing things like that. I grew up in a project housing where homelessness, gangs, and drugs thrive till this day. It's sad. I would do what ever I could with little I had to offer to make someones day a tad bit better. A sandwich, water, or just taking the time to say hi and talk with them.
I've been to Oregon a few times to visit family and spent a summer and winter there. Do you live in Washington?
My day is going swell so far. Just got out of my Shakespeare class.

[JainieJane]

Im actually not scared of spirits, sometimes I get deceived by being afraid but then I realize im way stronger and their alot more afraid of me because God is in me and I have the authority to stop whatever they are doing....They often haunt my dreams literally. But when I call on God the fear goes away because God tells me I have the authority to make them stop.

I was only homeless for about 6 months at the most, Ive always had a good life and I honestly owe it to God. I dont know I'm not perfect and I sure done alot of bad stuff...but one day I seriously just broke down because I felt I saw a vision of how the devil will control people, what it said in the book of Revelation and a very real way...And thats when nothing mattered to me anymore, like I felt I needed to do something, like make people aware some how....and I did go crazy I can admit that (I wasnt sleeping and eating so that really took all my sanity away) I pushed my family away because I just couldnt trust them for some reason, its to long to explain but they had me committed to maybe 6 mental hospital before they just gave up and pushed me out in the street....but during my time in the street I met people who know what to do the get government assistance, I never had to do it before but during this time I swear to you I was hearing God like directing me who to talk to and who to trust. But I never really heard voices its more like thoughts and I know they are not my own because the thoughts came way to fast as if someone was answering every question in my brain and thats how I knew it was God. I also can distinguish the thoughts that the devil injects in my brain...I cant help but feeling like I have a part in how the pre-tribulation will start....i dont know...I'm not saying that im some type of special person....I just fell the end is quite near and I know God is the one pushing me to write because I feel His presence everything I ask myself if this is the right path for me is this really what He wants me to do and I feel his presence now as I share this with you....I am also not afraid of what people think about me or even care what they will think about me because I answer to a much powerful Being and thats God Jesus Christ the King!!! Not status, popularity or wealth will matter once I face God.....Alot of people I call friends actually turned their backs on me because I have this frame of mind but that doesnt matter at all to me....because like I mention I feel the pre-tribulation is near and I believe it will beginning once the next person comes into office, everything is starting to be set and put into motion and I believe in the next 5 years you will really start feeling the end.....I believe every thought that a chilly feeling...and I can envision these thoughts so clear its crazy...No one knows when it will happen of course this was stated in the Bible but like I said I just have a strong feeling I have a part in it and thats why i believe God is preparing me.......you should read my poem The strife that made me whole...

No I dont live in washington, i was just visiting.

I miss going to school but I dont miss the work hahah.... I might have to pull an all nighter, I have two emails to program tonight and I want to get into work early tomorrow so I can leave early....I'm craving to just write and I want more time in my day to do so. I wish I can take a month off....I might just do that once I am ready to move to New York...i really want to live there even just 6 months....

[sinNsincerity]

That's pretty insane, and I get it. I have heard voices since I was a child and always ignored them. During my teenage years, I experimented with lots of drugs and drank heavily and the voices only became stronger. I drank so much to the point I have suppressed my dreams and it has left me restless. I've tried to commit suicide several times, but it was never meant to be, so I know I'm hear for a reason.

I'm not afraid of them in that sense, but rather, they have been leading me into dabbling with magic and I quite curious when it come to that subject when it comes to incorporating it into my writing. Not to deceive, but to enhance my writing. I have studied and acknowledge the power of magic, but stay away from the dark arts. And I do know God supersedes everything. I was raised in a very religious home and went to church seven days a week as a child up until I turned twenty one. I've been baptized, done my first communion, and my confirmation as well. I have and still do study the bible with due diligence, but they spirits are tempting me to go down a path I know I shouldn't.

I do to feel that the end is near as well, but I don't think the antichrist will emerge from the U.S. It states the he will emerge from the east and that he will bring peace to the Jews and Muslims once the new temple is built for the Jews. I also believe the the papacy is the seed to the antichrist.
But if you feel that God is preparing you, I would say that you are blessed and I will most definitely read your poem!
SO where do you live if you don't mind me asking?
I wish I can take forever off just to write... hehe

[JainieJane]

No the antichrist isn't emerging from the US it will be from the Middle East but what I meant by he will be in office is, he will have a part and say in what goes on and he maybe the one putting who ever he wants in office right now so they can "f" things up so he can deceive people.

I've done drugs too but I don't think I've ever had a trip where I heard voices, I just sense things...and my thoughts are nonstop. I don't think I would want to hear voices I would go nuts. I chose to go to church when I was younger, my parents weren't really into it but I think that's the best decision I ever made. I grow up in a Christian church, it's not as stricter as some churches, the one I grow up in anyway.

What type of magic are you talking about? What I'm more fascinated with is testing what the scriptures say, for instance God said test Him and see that He will not open the windows of heaven and pour out the blessings to overflowing. And whatever you ask of God He shall do if it's good for you....those type of scriptures where God ask you to challenge His words, I find that fascinating and I try to challenge Him once in a while...a bless came today for me, I've been needing a new phone and my credit is shot with sprint since I want to switch back to them because the phone I had sucked anyway my sister asked me out of the blue and I didn't tell her I wanted a new phone anyway to repair my credit with sprint I have to pay $260 and then put $500 down plus whatever the price is for activation anyway my sister asked me if I wanted to be on her family plan mind you I didn't ask her for anything I was just quietly planning to pay all those fees well I was able to get the iPhone 7 plus under her contract for $62 and $30 a month with unlimited everything! God is giving me everything I want without me having to work hard for it. I bought a mac laptop two months ago and similar situations happen, I make decent pay but at the time I got the laptop I needed to get a car anyway I asked God if I can also have a laptop and it just so happens my savings for a car happened to be enough for a laptop too, after I found the a deal for my car now. Point being here is, I give to charities in honor of God and He is blessing me more as a result and it reflects what the scriptures say, and this is what I want to convey in my writing, in my book.