Magnified Rage

I write poems when I have writer's block, it helps me clear my mind.

I live by the beat 

day in day out avoiding deceit

rage in my mind, I feel defeat

making my kind spirit retreat.

I am very forgiving to a fault

but when you cross that line you better halt 

or expect a brawl 

cause my pride won’t let me fall.

Don’t mistake my kind face 

to always excuse you with grace

My heart don’t have room for a basket case

So I suggest you turn the other way.

Before you experience my magnified rage.

Reviews

[Neal S]

" I live by a beat" was the perfect way to begin this rhythmic piece. I really dig the flow of this one. Again very nice work.

[Mr. Lopez]

This felt lyrical to me and I liked that. I could hear a heavy crunching guitar growling along to match the razors edge of your words.gritty and unforgiving .and for all those reasons I liked it.

[JainieJane]

Thank you! I like and appreciate your comment!

[Asante]

I love how you draw from a place of emotion to fight through your writer's block. Honestly, I'm of the exact same breed, for real.
I'll echo what someone mentioned below: This piece was so, so catchy, but at the same time, it painted pictures. Kinda gave me a solid snapshot into your heart and mind. A beautiful thing.

Good writing! Keep this up.

[JainieJane]

thank you, you are very kind!!! And appreciate your comment a lot!!!

[Asante]

Calling it how I see it! I like your writing; it has a catch to it that people say they get from some of mine. Almost lyric-like. You're welcome!

[JainieJane]

I listen to hip hop ahhaha and instrumental beats but i like most music anyway I feel subconsciously it reflects in my writing sometimes....oh I will read your writing!!!! I love creative thoughts!

[Asante]

Haha, I get you! I can see the influence, no doubt about it. What artists do you listen to? Hell, throw me a few. I dig me some hip hop, always.
And thanks!

[JainieJane]

haha, I am a big big big big fan of MF Doom, Del the Funky Homosapien, The Grouch, Cool Calm Pete just to name a few. Im also big on instrumental beats, like Prefuse 73 and J Dilla

[Asante]

You're into the underground side hip hop, nice! Love me some MF Doom, to be honest. I'll have to give some of those instrumentals a listen, for real.

[Gee]

Basket case, haven't heard that phrase in years. Light the blue touch paper and get the hell away. Liked reading this, a different style to many, including my simple own

[JainieJane]

hahah thank you, my siblings often called me a basket case...

[Gee]

Mine call me a cu.......best not go there

[Adam Adams]

that's catchy!
you put some sauce to on your so "magnified" words. yeah, it's sorta true that when you be passing throu' some kinda weird writer's block, it's must to write something that takes you beyond limits. here u writing down poetry that even filtering the visualisation of this bizzare world. nice imagery. well written.

[JainieJane]

thank you, you're quite kind with your words. When i feel a little frustrated I like to channel that irritant to descriptive words, it's a nice practice.

[Adam Adams]

u may try working on prose too... it will help u or even b workin like a tranquiliser to ur #writersblock. and i kinda like ur "channelling" .. keep doing it. have at it. imma have to read some of ur more work today.

[JainieJane]

I have an overactive imagination but it's drawing from my actual experience....here i'll let you read the first two paragraphs to my book that I am currently writing...I will try and get it published once I am done with it. I am starting off with a dream I had so if it reads funky sorry...

[JainieJane]

An unpleasant feeling of confusion and fear engulfed my body as I stood in front of a parking lot accompanied by a white building with black tinted, 48 inch tall window that spanned the width of all four sides of the second level of the building, that seemed for a moment abandoned or in the process of renovation. From a distance, what seemed like the length of a football field, if you were standing on the south end, opposite from it was a royal blue colored steel round table that reminded me of a high school lunch table with 3 seats attached to it, while the force of the wind created a mini tornado of papers that dangled above the table, making the papers look like hanging chandelier. The chilly air stung my skin as it penetrated through my green long sleeve cotton blend shirt, I looked around for a moment trying to recognize where I was but no signs of recognizable landmarks stood out in my mind which I often associated a place to, where I’ve been before. Grey fluffy blanket size clouds began to form in the sky hiding any remanence of sunlight that filled the parking lot as I imagined from time to time. I proceeded a step towards the direction of the royal blue colored steel lunch table, curious of the papers that still hung like chandelier, as I took the second step, a vaguely familiar voice with an essence of a caring tone echoed in my mind, as if someone was telepathically speaking to me, “It's beginning, you have to start paying attention to the signs”, the sweet voice whispered. I didn’t get the chance to question what was beginning, I was suddenly distracted by the closeness of the lunch table once I took the third step because two previous steps before I was 120 yards away from it.

A sudden ringing noise blared from the two story building when I got about a foot away from the lunch table. People began to pour out of the building, headed all sorts of directions, with a combination look of manic fear, worry and confusion on their faces that also faded the natural color of their skin tone to more of a grey lifeless hue. I wanted to stop one of them and ask where I was but they walked strangely fast, not giving me the chance to utter the words “excuse me” or “can you please tell me where I am” as they passed me by, instead i sat down on the lunch table, picking up one of the 10 sheets of papers that now laid flat in a pile on the floor. Before I could read the first line of words in black bold helvetica font that stretched across the top of the lavender colored paper, a figure approached me who radiated with so much excitement that it changed the energy of where I sat. “He’s almost here”. I didn’t need to look up to know who the voice belong to, it was my sister Lacey, who I often called lazy because of her ability to lay on the couch in front of the television for hours. Lacey sat down across from me, when a book on my left side suddenly appeared and a pen in my hand, strangely making me realize I was going to be late for my afternoon class. I looked up and gave her a look that translated to “What do you mean, who’s almost here?”, without uttering the words to her, she answered, “God’s almost here, can’t you feel it? Look around you, those who aren’t ready, seems scared, can’t you tell from the expressions on their faces?” I looked around for a moment to analyze what my sister was referring to and then back down to the paper I was holding, where it said, make a JOYFUL NOISE ONTO THE LORD, HE HAS KEPT HIS PROMISE AND HE HAS FINALLY RETURNED. The excitement that radiated from my sister began to filled my mind with a thick cloudy euphoric haze after reading the bold words on the lavender colored paper, not realizing I teleported to a class room that resembled much like a class room I once had when I attended Carson High.

[Adam Adams]

this's amazing. very much full of suspense. mystery. & thrill. here i like how u add ur humor with concept... like lacey as lazy. sounds fascinating. it keeps readers engaged with theme... and curiosity to continue the book. nice work here, as always. im sure, ur book gonna rock! stay glued with it. don't give up on it. u must feed ur book... every day or overnight whether u be wrapped in writer's block or not... u just gotta make it. all the very best for ur book.

[JainieJane]

why thank you :) yes I am pursuing this because i want to share my experience and hopefully it will lend a helping tone to someone who might have experienced the same things ive gone through..

[Adam Adams]

so how many chaters have u nailed down yet? do u plan posting 'em soon? what else u working on by side?

[KT-B]

I like this people mistake your kindness for weakness but if pushed too far woe betide them................... I get it, well done.

[JainieJane]

I have alot of characters actually, this is going to be a 3 series book....Ive had a very long interesting life so far....I have 7 siblings, I will introduce all of them in the first book.....maybe only 4 close friends in the first book and an ex boyfriend with 6 or 8 of his friends....quite a bit of character building still....I will post the first 3 chapters maybe in 2 or 3 weeks depending on how much edit there is...As for my profession, I am a graphic designer...so right now I am actually just trying to focus on finishing my book since ive had this idea for 2 years now...and after i finish my book I want to continue on building my own firm.....I work for a marketing company right now so it helps with learning the business...

[JainieJane]

Thank you KTBradley!!!

[Adam Adams]

you envision your future so brightly. liked it!
keeo it up. would be looking fwd to reading ur work!

[JainieJane]

Thank you!!! I will keep you posted once it publish it!