Haunted by the Radio

When music reads your mind.

 

Haunted by the Radio

 

Have you ever felt you were haunted by the radio?

It’s spooky, and unnerving

Hearing your mind blast through a stereo…

 

I hear myself echoed in a song –

Sighing, I can’t breathe, I can’t sleep

I’m barely hanging on…

 

Can’t I take away all this pain?

I try to every night all in vain.

 

In songs, I look for distractions, but it gives me no choice

When it sings of your smile and the sound of your voice -

But this is going on too long…

So I wonder: am I already that gone…?

 

At least I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired,

And I know right now you don’t care…

But that’s exactly what I can’t bear.

 

I listen and grit my teeth all the while,

wondering if it would help to turn the dial -

 

Still, I hear things I already know:

 

I feel it all, I feel it all...

I’ll be the one who’ll break my heart,

...please stop it all before it starts...

But  there’s a fire within my soul -

and you really think you’re in control?

 

No I’m not....I know I’m not….

So I lean back and give up with a sigh,

put my headphones on, press shuffle,

and let the songs take over my mind…

 

...How come I never hear you say

‘I just wanna be with you’?

I guess you never felt that way…

 

Things aren’t the way they were before,

You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore,

Not that you knew me back then,

But it all comes back to me, in the end…

 

 

How could I burn paradise?

How could I? You were never mine…

How can I decide what’s right

When you’re clouding up my mind?

Can’t win your losing fight

All the time.

 

Oh, will you ever know

That the bitterness and anger left me long ago?

And only sadness remains and it will pass.

 

You’re a beautiful

A beautiful fucked up man

You’re setting up your

Razor-wire shrine…

 

You’re a cryptic crossword

A song I’ve never heard

While I sit here drawing circles

I’m afraid of being heard...

 

But Lord knows that I’m not you

And if I was, I wouldn’t be so cruel

Because waiting on love ain’t so easy to do.

 

Every time I’m close to you

There’s too much I can’t say…

And you just walk away.

 

Old teenage hopes

Are alive at your door

Left you with nothing

But they want some more.

 

I listen on until the music ends,

shutting off because the battery is dead.

But still my thoughts continue on...

running ramped until, like the songs,

my heart is done.
   
 

Author's Note

Here's a list of the songs, in order:
Behind these Hazel Eyes � Kelly Clarkson
Freak on a Leash � Korn
The Name of the Game � ABBA
Sweet Surrender � Sarah Mclachlan
Unwell � Matchbox 20
I Feel it All - Feist
Mamma Mia � ABBA
Crazy � Gnarls Barkley
Since U Been Gone � Kelly Clarkson
In the End � Linkin Park
Call Me When You�re Sober � Evanescence
Decode � Paramore
You Have Been Loved - Sia
Building a Mystery � Sarah Mclachlan
Academia - Sia
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing � Jack Johnson
I Love You � Sarah Mclachlan
1234 - Feist

This actually happened, in February. It wasn't in a perfect story-like way like this, but still...for about a week, whenever I turned on the radio, no matter what station, and whenever I had my Zune on shuffle, all the songs seemed to echo what I was going through. It included all these songs and many more, and I wrote this poem so they wouldn't be stuck in my head, and so I could rant in a condensed way.
Sure, I probably imagined it all, but it was still spooky. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Reviews

[Alexander Fox]

happens all the time, actually....regardless of what station or genre I'm listening to, "I" find myself and my situations in the songs...i say that I find them because "I' look for them. It's the way we are built....to look for patterns and personal meaning in...EVERYTHING.....

[Phoenix]

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