I'll Be Me

I'm sure many people can relate to this...

They say I'm beautiful, they say I'm tall,

but I ask them, "Do you see a difference

between me and that wall?"

They brush my hair and they feel

how it's so soft and so thick,

but they ask me, "Is this color real?"

I say, "Of course, even in this way

I can never fake, I can never lie."

And they look at me, confused.

They look at me and sigh.

 

They look at my eyes,

they say they're brown, they say they're dark.

I look in the mirror and think,

"Well, I suppose there's not even a spark?"

They stare at the blemishes

all over my face,

they say I should fix that,

I say, "It doesn't matter to me, it'd be a waste."

 

They all say, "Look at you! Thin as a slate!"

I say, "Remember how silent you were

that time I gained weight?"

They grab my arm and they say,

"Can this be you, can it really be?"

I know what comes next, it's always this way -

"You're so tall! You always seem to grow!"

And I think,"So after all those years,

that's all there ever is to show?"

 

They say,

"Your body's not strong enough,

your skirt's not high enough,

your skin's not smooth enough,

your shirt's not low enough,

your voice's not loud enough..."

And I scream in my head,

"Enough! Enough! Enough!"

 

Maybe if I listened, I'd be the girl's envy,

maybe I'd feel beautiful just because

all the boy's might chase me.

Maybe I'd color my hair, scrub my skin,

And eat little or nothing

so that I could stay thin.

 

Maybe, if only I could see

the kind of person  you want me to be,

I'd melt to your will

and we could've been together

long ago and still...

 

Or maybe I'll just be me.

  The me that's inside, the only part that matters,

otherwise I'm nothing, don't you see?

I fought it once, and weren't they proud

to see how hard I worked

to fit in with the crowd.

That didn't last long,

I knew I was right

and they were wrong.

 

They say...they say I'm so mature,

yet say I'm too young to understand

that in the future I'll have much more to endure.

They say I'm dumb, they say I'm smart,

but they can't see that what they say

tore me apart.

 

They don't see how tall I am, haven't got a clue -

and I can criticize myself just fine

 without you.

 

Author's Note

Longest poem I've ever written, but which could've been a lot longer. And I guess that's a good thing and a bad thing.

Reviews

[Wildecat]

Just be you, the people who really love you will always love you and the rest don't matter. Nice Write.

[[untitled]]

i like the coming of awareness of this one..it really is superb

[Pauline Marie Daley]

Awesomely intense poem. The people that see only whats on the surface ruin life for the rest of us. That's why teenagers today are so messed up. Trying to fit in, trying to "melt to your will." Its astonishing that so many actually survive the teen years. What's important really is that "The me that's inside, the only part that matters, otherwise I'm nothing, don't you see?"

[Alexander Fox]

I loved it. I know your grandma and relatives fueled most of the anger.....but reading the title and knowing the title of my last poem, where you venting at me at all? Fourth from last stanza only strengthens my suspicions, but I LOVED the poem. Amen for counterculture us.

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Oh yeah, this is definitely something anyone could relate to. So much contradiction is heard throughout all of our adolescence-- even, perhaps, in our childhood. And this stuff comes from kids our age AND adults. The first stanza immediately reminded me of me... everyone asks me if my hair can really be that curly...

So, clearly this poem is most likely based on real experiences, probably just a little exaggerated. There's a lot of confusion and frustration in this piece. ...Sinister. ;)

The last stanza added a LOT of depth to this already deep poem. Mainly because a lot of teens our age do criticize ourselves. *sigh* I won't lie, the tone of the poem sounds pissed; I'm almost afraid to ask the source of inspiration. :P

Anyways, this is a job well-done, friend! I think it's excellent the way you wrote all of this, so it's greatly structured. Nice job. Love the message. :)

Eternally Yours, Blade and Blood