My "Father"

Bottled up feelings.

I can't remember when I last called you father,

Maybe dad if anything at all

But the truth being, I don't know if you're either one

The way you look at me seems as if we're strangers,

The way you talk to me makes me think you don't care

Like you could care less if I was even in your life

That's fine with me,

It seems like I haven't been since way back when

When there was no fights and no distant conversations

When it was only me and my "daddy"

There were times you talked to me and I actually listened

I took your advice, I took it to heart

Now it seems as if every word you say makes me hate you more

I cringe at the sound of your voice.

When I come home I know I'm just going to be blamed,

Blamed for anything and everything you come up with

You make me not want to come home,

You make me wish I could relive my life completely different

You always put me last, for everything

Whether it was after your wife or after your sons

It never mattered to you if my feelings were destroyed,

As long as you didn't lose her.

All you ever did was go along with her mistreatment,

Her tormenting punishments that did nothing at all

Except make me go crazy little by little

And hate you all the more,

More than I thought possible.

Now we barley speak and I feel like I live alone

I sit in my room all day, and talk to noone.

The walls feel as if they're caving in

From all the boredom and all the responsibilities

When can I ever have my own life?

When can I ever go out and be a kid?

I guess that time will come when I'm no longer even a kid.

The reason you probably don't let me be one,

Is because I don't consider myself yours what so ever.

I'd rather be homeless than live with you

I'd rather make my own mistakes than listen to your opinions.

Maybe one day, I'll have the courage to tell you all this,

Maybe I'll stop caring about hurting you,

Since you never cared about hurting me.

 

Author's Note

Just wrote this today, like/dislikes?

Reviews

[Dark Empress]

I like it, it's very powerful. A very strong poem. Great write.