Chapter Four - Memories

Winter is waiting for Luke, Eloise and his mum to go and do what they need to do. He's left at Eloise's house expected to entertain himself, but it become apparent that what he needs, is his mother.

                My life so far is, odd, different, confusing and completely and utterly irrational. Weird to me? Not at all. Every part of me wishes that my brain had the capacity to think of the right thing to say, at exactly the right time, not four hours later when I’m in bed thinking about what I should have said.

            People always say ‘It’s not my fault. I didn’t ask for this to happen.’ Bull s**t. Name me one time that you’ve never been to blame for something, name one time that you’ve asked something bad to happen because you were angry and upset. You see, the thing is with human beings, is that we have a natural habit of making sure that when it comes to our turn to be upset, it’s inflicted by other people. And the people, who can accept that they are the fault of their own problems, haven’t really realized what they’re talking about in enough depth to truly understand any of it.

            It’s like life is a grape vine, there are so many possibilities, every single one leading on to another, and yet none of them have any welcome signs to prepare you for what’s coming. You’re expected to deal with it and move on. But what happens when the vine curls into a spiral of confusion, and then stops? You’ve hit rock bottom, and there’s no staircase that can take you back up.

            It’s call observation. Definitely something that I myself wish I had taken notice of a lot more often. And look what I just did, accepted my own mistake without realizing what I’m talking about in enough depth to understand it. See what I mean? The human mind is a maze that changes course every second, you think you’ve been down one path before when really it’s imitating what you feel you know, and you’re just heading towards the last spiral of the vine.

            So many people, so many lives I wish I had told things. So many things I wish I had done instead of the things I have done. If you’re listening to me God, give me the chance to change all of that again. Please. I don’t feel like I can get up off of this bed and walk out forgetting about my past, my scars haven’t even begun to heal, if only I could prevent them, maybe I wouldn’t be so badly marked.

            Every time I plead for something that I know won’t change, I have the slightest pin prick of hope that maybe, my wishing will actually unfold before me, so that I can change things. It never does. But no matter how many times I wish, that pin prick is always where I can see it, close to my heart. And in my mind.

 

            Eloise and mum were talking about the apartment and Luke was talking to his friends outside who arrived with two big trucks with room on the back for furniture. They were all talking and laughing about stuff I didn’t give a flying f**k about because I just wanted to get going.

            In the end, Eloise and Mum went off to do something at Eloise’s office to get the apartment, and Luke and his friends left after receiving dad’s address and had been told that if he’s there just take everything any way. How that was going to go down I didn’t want to know or even cared, I just wanted my phone charger and my own bed.

            Whether they had forgotten about me completely or just assumed I was okay in someone I barely knows house, I was left alone sitting in Eloise’s lounge on her leather sofa. It was one of those situations where you’d do nothing but listen to the clock adorning the wall, ticking slowly.

            I heard the trucks hefty engines ignite and grunt away down the road. Okay, now I was alone. And god, it was weird. It’s almost scary how cliché this house is. Just by look through the ranch slider in the lounge to look at the back yard was cliché enough. From the glass door, was about a two meter radius to the fence, and squished in between the house and the fence was an iron shed where Luke most likely did all of his construction stuff.

            I stood up and circled the lounge for a moment, thinking of something to do without invading their privacy. If only they had a dog, or even cat that would have been fine, I could have dealt with that. Something to keep me entertained, but even as I peered down the hallway, it was apparent that they could possibly be one of the most boring people I’ve ever met.

            I wandered down the hallways aimlessly looking at their photo’s hanging down the entire hall, it was apparent that they met young. There were some photos of them at their wedding, them at a beach, sitting together at what looked like some kind of hillbilly steakhouse, and then a photo of Eloise and mum at mum and dad’s wedding. I know I should be taking in the fact that this is photograph of my mum at her wedding, and the fact that they look really nice in the wedding dresses, but Eloise just looked so god damn hilarious. Her hair just looked like a burnt shrub had been placed on her head. I chuckled to myself, and looked away before I got insultive. Is that even a word? Sounds like it, anyway.

            At the end of the hall there were no more photos of Eloise and Luke, just degrees and certificates of their qualifications. Seeing as though there was absolutely s**t all to do, I thought I’d go to the toilet to somehow waste about thirty seconds, regardless to the fact that I didn’t need to go at all.

            It took me about three stops through different doors until I managed to find the bathroom, even the floor looked modern and new. I closed the door that was identical to the others, and locked it.

            I avoided using the soap after using the toilet because it looked expensive. I find with hand pump soap I always use way too much than I need because it’s just fun. Instead I found a little bar of soap in the cupboard under the sink to use and left it in the little soap groove next to the tap.

            I was beginning to feel poor as I dried my hands on their towels that were perfectly folded and were resting over an automatic heating rack. God, even the bloody plug looked nice.

            I unlocked the door, and stepped out into the hallways again. Across from the bathroom was what I made out to be Eloise and Luke’s bedroom. Trying not to be invasive, I poked my head in just to have a little nosey. They didn’t have much. There was a double bed, drawers, a bookshelf, and what looked like a hair and makeup desk that Eloise used. In the bookshelf and on Eloise’s makeup desk there were some photographs. I walked in just to have a little look, I wouldn’t touch anything.

            I bent over and looked at one in a golden frame on the makeup desk. It was a little girl, in a black and white picture, assuming this was Eloise with dark brown pigtails I looked at some of the others. There was Luke standing with an older couple that could easily be Eloise’s parents, another picture of Eloise and mum, and a black and white picture of a little boy, obviously Luke.

            The ones of the bookshelf however, were a little bit different. The first one I looked at was Eloise holding up a brown haired toddler. Mum was in the background looking young, realising that the young boy was me; I smiled weakly and looked to the next photograph. It was another of mum and Eloise. I was actually quite surprised how I don’t know Eloise very well, given the fact that mum and her appeared to be best friends. Maybe after having me, mum moved away or something, I don’t really know.

            Another photo showed mum and dad on one side of a fence, and Eloise and Luke on the other. Oh, so they must’ve been neighbours or something. It must have been a while ago because again, they looked young and mum wasn’t pregnant with me.

            And finally, I looked over at the final photograph. I had to look at it a couple of time before I could actually make out who it was, and what it was actually showing. Luke was standing behind Eloise, and he had his hands on her stomach, her pregnant stomach.

            I looked around quickly, I thought I heard someone coming in, but that was probably my mind trying to scare me. But Eloise and Luke don’t have a baby? They’ve never had a baby? Not that I know of. Perhaps they had, and their kid moved away or something. Maybe it’s in its twenties? I just don’t know. The photo didn’t look old though. Maybe like, ten or fifteen years ago or something.

            Every part of me wished I wouldn’t do this, but I was so god damn curious as to the pregnant photo of Eloise, that I had to pull out the thick book that read “Memories” from the bookshelf, and flick through it.

            I sat on the edge of the bed and skimmed through more photo’s that were similar to the ones that were placed around the house, until I stopped about halfway through.

            I instantly felt really quite cruel. I felt a bit dehumanized for wanting to look for such a thing. I felt so mean. Here in a very upsetting photograph, was Eloise sitting on a hospital bed holding Luke’s hand, smiling weakly at the camera. Right before this photo was a happily pregnant Eloise. I just two and two together, remembered that I’d never hear of their child, and knew that Eloise had had a miscarriage, sadly, nearly half-way through her pregnancy.

            This made me feel as immoral as a human for a split second. As a male, I’ve never experienced or ever will experience the ability to be a mother or give birth. Eloise looked extremely happy in these pictures, and when you look closely in the photo of her in the hospital, you can see the grieving sadness in her eyes. To her, her other half had been killed. Now, I don’t know this before. But I’m assuming it’s true because there are no pictures of them with a baby like there is with me and mum.

            Deciding to be respectful, I shut the photo book gently and place it back in the bookshelf. Straightened the sheets and walked back down the hallway. They wouldn’t mind if I made myself some tea though, would they? Na, probably not.

            I turned on the kettle and put a tea bag in my cup and a couple of teaspoons of sugar, and began to wait for the kettle to finish boiling. I could hear it starting to rumble deeper, and in any minute the button would-

            I leapt upwards thinking it was the jug ringing. I swung around to see the home phone on the counter lighting up blue lights. Do I answer it? Or leave it?

            I guess to an advantage of Eloise keeping up to date with all of her appliances was the fact that it would show who was ringing. I look at it as it rung.

            “China home” Oh thank god, it was mum calling. Wow, they got there quick. Maybe she was ringing to see where my phone charger was. I picked it up, pressed the green button and held it up to my ear.

            “Hello?” I said normally.

            “H- Hello?” A male’s voice answered. Mum wasn’t calling then, was it Luke? “Is that Luke?” He asked. Okay, it wasn’t Luke, I’m a little confused right about now.

            “No.” I said, changing my voice slightly. “Who’s this?” I asked.

            “It’s Blake. Is this Eloise’s house?” oh my f*****g god. It was my father. S**T.

            “Yes.” I said. Oh my god, why the hell did I have to say that! Now he’s going to know that there’s someone there, and assume it’s me!

            “Do you know where China and Winter are?”

            S**t. Wait, he must be really thick. I have a deep voice, and I said I’m not Luke. Eloise doesn’t sound like a man. Who does he actually think he’s talking to? Maybe I can slide out of it.

            “Who?” I said casually. S**t I hope he buys this.

            “China and Winter, my wife and son?”

            “I don’t know them sorry.” I said quickly. He paused for a few seconds. I thought he’d hung up, when he started talking again.

            “Winter, is that you?” He said angrily. I panicked. What should I do? I danced on the spot a little before pulling the phone away from my ear and clicking the red button which ended the call.

            Could I get any more obvious? He’s going to know it’s me isn’t he? Oh god, what do I do. But then the phone started ringing again, he’s trying his luck again isn’t he? The stupid idiot. I picked up the phone and looked at the caller number.

            “China home” Should I pick up and put on a funny voice and tell him he got the wrong number? Maybe I could actually get away with it.

            “Hello?” I said, putting my voice higher than usual.

            “Winter I know it’s you. I can hear the kettle boiling in the background like just before. You’re at Eloise’s I’m coming to get you.” Jesus f*****g Christ. I didn’t say anything; if I could he’d be receiving an ear full of inappropriate names.

            “Don’t you dare f*****g come here.” I yelled into the phone, finding my voice, which might I add was really difficult.

            “I don’t think you have a choice, I’m your father and you’ll do as I say. Now I’m coming to get you and that’s that.” He hung up. I could almost cry. And I hardly ever cry.

            One thing that was wrong with this was that I’m at somebody else’s house. The second thing that’s wrong with this is that I’m alone; I have no one here to help me. Three things wrong with this, I don’t know where mum, Eloise or Luke is and my phone is dead. Could this get any worse? I wish I had the strength to punch him in the nuts where it would hurt.

            I paced the kitchen, ignoring the boiled kettle and the water-less cup; I had other problems right now. Like a maniac of a father coming to get me from someone else’s house? Maybe I can do him in for kidnapping. I don’t know how well that would work.

            About ten minutes passed, and I was still pacing in the kitchen. Panicking. Wondering when he was going to get here, when the phone started to ring again. I looked at the blue screen that read:

            “Unknown number” I hesitated. It might not be dad, but he could be ringing on his cell phone or something. I don’t really know why I did this, but I clicked the green button and held it up to my ear.

            “H- hello?” I said quietly. My voice was shaking.

            “Winter?” it was a female’s voice. “Winter, its mum. How are you? Luke just text Eloise and said they were at the house loading up the furniture. Dad still wasn’t there would you believe-”

            “MUM! Dad just rung here and said that he was coming to get me from Eloise’s!” I screamed, shaking.

            “WHAT?” She yelled. I heard Eloise in the background say ‘What’s wrong?’ “We’re on our way back now, lock the door and don’t let anyone in, understand?” she hung up. I felt like right about now I could be in a scary movie or something. I ran to the front door and locked it though, my hands were trembling. It was almost impossible for him to do this, but just to be sure, I ran to the lounge and locked the ranch slider door.

            Okay, this may sound really dramatic. But I’ve actually never been so scared in my life, I went round all the room’s in Eloise’s house to make sure that every single window was shut and any other doors to the back yard were locked.

            How did he even know to call Eloise’s house? I thought he never took any notice of mum’s friends, let alone know where they live. But then I remembered the photo’s in Eloise’s room. Dad and Luke must have been friends when we lived next door, he’ll obviously know how to get here then if he used to live directly next to it.

            I walked into the kitchen and peered out the window across the lawn. That house that I was looking at was yet another living thing which had proof of a happy family. This was just getting creepy. It was like my dad had a hit out on me, and he was literally coming to get me. Okay mum and Eloise, you guys can come home now. I don’t like this waiting game, if you could really call it a game.

            The longest half an hour of my life had passed in what felt like forever. I don’t even know how long it took to get to Eloise’s house because I was asleep for most of the ride. He could even be here any minute. Any second. Any-

            I heard a knock on the door. I almost shat myself. I could have fainted because I went all dizzy and almost lost my balance. The most awkward thing was, I’m standing in the kitchen, and if you look out of the window above the sink, you can see who’s at the front door. If he felt the need, he could look directly at me.

            I silently moved towards the door. This just meant that he wouldn’t see me if he looked through the window. Actually I don’t know if it was him or not. But as I heard another hard knock on the door I assumed it was because Eloise would have had a key.

            The doorknob turned but the door didn’t open. Thank god for locks. I hear another hard knock on the door closely followed by “Open the door!” Yep. That was definitely him. His annoying voice muffled by the locked windows and the doors. He knocked again except this time her was knocking on the window to the kitchen. I felt like I was petrified. I couldn’t move. This was so scary. Come on mum, hurry up and get here!

            He stopped knocking for a while, but I could hear him trying to make his way around the outside of the house. My heart was racing as I shoved the tiniest fraction of my head through doors to see where he was and that he wouldn’t see me. The hallways seemed the safest, but I kept feeling like he could see me wherever I was. This was wrong, all so very wrong.

            I tiptoed down the hallway. I couldn’t hear him. He wasn’t by the front door, or anywhere I could see from the window in the kitchen. But then I heard a crash from the lounge. He wasn’t inside, he couldn’t possibly be. I peered around the corner, but he wasn’t in the lounge, instead he was on the other side of the ranch slider, he had tipped over some green deck chair’s that were there.

            I leaned my back against the wall, breathing deeply. This was so not a good time to be doing this. He needed to f**k right off before I called the police or something.

            The police! That was such a good idea. I think he’s still in the back yard, so I jumped, grabbed the phone and ducked down behind the kitchen counter where I wasn’t visible to any windows.

            I was just about the dial the police’s number when it began to light up blue with an incoming call.

            “Unknown number” Mum. I pressed the green button almost instantly and held it up to me ear.

            “Hello?” I said franticly while being quiet.

            “Open the door.” I heard my father say. That f*****g b*****d. I hung up immediately, and threw the phone across the floor. It skidded and hit the pantry. God d****t Winter, why did you just do that? How are you going to call the police now?

            I was about to lean up but I heard a noise outside the window and figured it must be him. He definitely knows that I’m in the house, I answered the phone. If only he would just leave! Or even better, mum and Eloise could show up, or Luke and his mates. That would be the best feeling ever. Only I was still alone in this house, it felt a bit familiar.

            I don’t really understand why I started to feel this way. But as my father tried to get into the house where I was scared and alone, I started thinking about how I had no siblings, and how Eloise never had children of her own. It’s like I’m scared and alone right now, and I have no siblings to save me, no one except mum and I didn’t even know where she was.

            Imagine if Eloise had had her child. We’d probably be the best of friends and I wouldn’t be here alone, trying to keep my own father from taking me away, My entire throat and stomach swirled up. I was so scared, I actually feel like I’m going to cry.

            I heard dad growl really loudly from above me. If no one came any time soon, I can expect windows to start breaking soon. He’s probably still drunk. But then he went quiet, and the phone started ringing from the opposite side of the room.

            One, I’d have to crawl to go and get it, and he’d see me. Two, it’s probably him anyway! I had to let it ring, but this would only make him angrier the fact that I wasn’t answering. Why was this happening to me?

            The phone suddenly stopped ringing and the machine that it usually plugs into clicked and said out loud: “New message from unknown number.” It beeped, and I was relieved and scared to hear the message.

            “Winter? Winter? Pick up the phone!” It was mum, and by the sounds of her background, they were driving quickly. “We’re ten minutes away, are you okay? Winter?” I had no choice really, I crawled rapidly across the floor to grab the phone, but the split second I went to press talk, she hung up.

            “S**t!” I said loudly. Realising what I had just said, my spine gave an uncomfortable shiver, as I slowly looked up, through thin lips, wide eyes and most likely clenched fists, Blake, my father was staring at me directly in the eyes from the window in the kitchen.

            Ten minutes isn’t going to be quick enough.

           

 

Author's Note

I'm sorry this took me a few days to write. I wanted to made it decent, I think I did okay.
Don't forget to review it and add it to your library.
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Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Good description of location. A lot of interesting situations in the chapter. I like the pace of the story. A very good ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Amila Jay]

Enjoyed it alot:))

[Gregory]

You never fail to impress me, dear friend. I'm so excited. This is such an achievement.
-Gregory

[Katarzyna Slade]

can't wait to hear more :D

[AK]

That was wonderful. I'd like to see the next chapter when it comes!