Noise

buzz buzz

It is noise.

It's like fading back useless into
taxi horns and muffled shouts
and phone calls and heatbreaks
and pelican crossings and chatter
and chat and flaps flapping and
markets bustle and singers
sing and fading back,
leaning back,
resting and merging into
ceilings,
letting it envelop you,
until people forget you,
and you realise nobody
knew who you were
apart from your father,
that nobody really cared
apart from your father.
It is not his voice you
hear;

It is noise.

Reviews

I love this, except I have no idea what a pelican crossing is, but I heard the noises anyway.
Well written.
-Satan's Toaster

[Amanda Avalon]

I love it when I find poems I can relate to. The image I get from this piece is someone feeling lost in a city, a sea of beings a man on an island by himself.

apart from your father,
that nobody really cared
apart from your father.
It is not his voice you
hear;

It is noise.

I have a father that has passed away, and although I'd like to think he speaks to me, this is the exact feeling that I have when I try (for darker interpretation of this, check out my new poem titled, "Maggots).

Sometimes the world around us moves so fast, it all just seems like clicks and buzzes, doesn't it?
A fine piece of work you've made to describe it!

[Kathryn]

Really liked this one. I like the cyclic beginning and ending and the "mess" in between. Like the noises you chose and the father story coming in at the end was sudden, but well done.
Only suggestion...

Consider changing:
...and pelican crossings and chatter
and chat and flaps flapping and
markets bustle and singers
sing and fading back,
leaning back...

to

and pelican crossings and chatter
and chat and flaps flapping and
markets [bustling] and singers
[singing] and fading back,
leaning back,

Or just make "markets" possessive or something; the verb didn't really go otherwise. Overall, nice piece.

[Not Afraid of Bruises]

Can't tell you why I loved this poem so much, but I did. The only changes I would suggest you try would be to play around with the commas and line breaks a bit, but I love how each line seems to flow into the other. I do think the mention of the father is rather sudden and I'm not sure what that has to do with the poem. Could you explain? This was a great write :D