My Ship Has Sunk

look at the title

My ship is sunk,
beneath the amber dusk,
the clouded brush strokes,
glinted my demise, reflected
glossed waves.
And creatures and swimmers
and me; we glare glass eyed
up at the sky,
And wonder why we came to
be sinking in this sea.
My ship is sunk,
And there's a light breeze
that caresses me,
shakes the spray off
but came to late to send
my ship flying across
this ocean. 

 

Reviews

[Kathryn]

Great piece, but quick typo. Third line from the bottom: "but came TOO late to..."

Also, if you've never read "The Life of Pi" you have to. Today, even, would be a good time to do that. :)

[Blitz]

Reading My Ship Has Sunk takes me down to the beach. I hear the surf, I smell the air, and I see the remnants of waves circling foamy at my feet. Thanks. I love "going there"

Patty

[Orlando Murcia]

Nice job bud!! I like this poem it is very very unique. I feel like being in a ship write now especially how you described it. Great job once again, Orlando Murcia

[Alicia Isabella Lane]

Powerful imagery ... it stirred a sense of nostalgic loss in me. Nice write!