The Swift Passing of Life

Contest Entry

 

Prologue

 

 

The world we know is huge, I mean, massive.

But the actual world we exist in, the circles we twirl in, the footsteps we make, the places we go, the city that we live in...

All these are really quite small.

 

A long time ago, a once close friend, my last and only girlfriend infact, said to me:

"Arthur, the world is small. It's so small that I could pick it up in one hand!"

Needless to say, I laughed and thought this complete nonsense, but knowing my girlfriend to be the intellectual sort,  I then asked her:

"How can that be? My hand is barely big enough to hold an apple!"

To which she replied dramatically,

"But surely that apple is the world?!"

 

At the time I didn't understand her, and a knudge, a little niggle at the back of my mind started to grow. It had been there for a while I think. She was beautiful and witty and intelligent, but it was like a brilliant white flame to moth. She eclipsed me. After a short time I had had enough. She was too eccentric, too full of life, too crazy that I could no longer stand the heat. She was too intense, and I have not seen her for a good 20 years now.

 

And yet, even now, I am searching through my old files and blowing away the cobwebs, I am trying to find her telephone number.... because I want to know what she meant.

I want to understand her.

I need to understand her soon because if I don't, I may not ever have the chance.

I have Four Weeks until I die.

 

My name is Arthur Swift.

And I want to start to live.

 

 

Author's Note

revisions made 4/05/08
revisions made 26/03/08

Reviews

[Susan S.]

At first I was taken off guard by the centering but after a while I got into it. It's an excellent prologue with just enough of a taste to draw the reader in and hook 'em good. You're up against some stiff competition, so I would like to make a few suggestions.

The idea of the writer at the typewriter is WAY overdone. It's really clich�. It is my opinion that it weakens the piece. (slight, but there)

The other thing I have hesitations with is the idea that this guy would blow off a "close" friend after just one statement. I suppose if it was the last straw... ...or if he wasn't as close, a co-worker or acquaintance or friend of the girlfriend I could see him shying away.

Brilliant work, good luck with the contest.

[Hedra Helix]

very nice, ;) I like the way I was fooled into thinking the narrator was you and how the fact that death was eminent caught me totally off guard and changed my perception of the entire thing at such a late hour in the piece. Good going getting your audience involved;)

[Tony Murray]

This is excellent. I was unsure about the format at first (although that has little to do with writing prowess) but once I got into the reading I found that the format actually lent itself to the pacing. The idea is broad enough to allow for a great deal of adventure and mystery, and the premise drew me in immediately. I think it would be an excellent candidate for this project. I even found myself brainstorming possibilities as soon as I finished.

[Brenda Sue]

Very well written. Wonderfully penned. Great job.