Top Ten Reasons You Should Be Afraid of Zimbabwe

An English assignment where we were supposed to make ten fact-based jokes about an assigned country. Some on the list may not make since until you have ten minutes to finish the rough and final draft, and all you have is a 1970's World Dictionary.

10. There's 151,000 square miles to get lost in.

9. Beware of the jealous Rhodesians.

8. With all the farming and ranching, there's probably some Mad Cow fun waiting to happen.

7. They have so much gold they could probably hire the Yakuzo to kill you.

6. Two empires have ruled over them and failed; they've probably got the science of conquering down.

5. If you've ever insulted a chief, don't go!

4. They slaughter livestock all day. Imagine what they could do to you...

3. They speak 3 languages, so while they're plotting against you in Shona, you'd never know.

2. The gold, perching bird on their flag is looking at you funny.

1. Don't blame me if you get malaria.

Author's Note

Criticism; my anti-drug.

Reviews

[Scott Free]

Criticism?
Oh, I liked this a lot. Quite funny.
You could capitalize a little more on a few I thought, though. People who don't like to criticize are people who don't care at all about your story.
3. They speak 3 languages, so while they're plotting against you in Shona, you'd never know.
This is funny, but you could make it funnier. Are there any ways of ancient torture in Zimbabwe?
'3. They speak 3 languages, so you'll never know if they're plotting in Shona to hang your guts in yonder tree when all you know is Ndebele.'
Or something of the sort. To capitalize a little more on the humor.
Great job!

~S

[Legion]

Interesting. I'm just wondering who got assign "America".

[MadasonBlue]

Loved this. Especially "mad cow fun" and "plotting against you in Shona". And the other eight.

[Kira]

Nice.

I'm not one for criticism, I hate it, personally. Even if it's constructive.

But, seriously, I liked it. Do another one!