Beginning of a New life.

Dancing with your daddy,

He’s just given you away,

In case you haven’t guessed,

It’s your wedding day.

From now on, everything starts to change,

You say goodbye to your old life,

Everything gets slightly rearranged.

Congratulations; you're now a wife.

Reviews

[ba_mcfarlane]

"He’s just given you away,"...things are given away. this is why it felt so damned morose after she was "given" to me; it was the beginning of the end. How can you continue a love affair with property?
You put this succinct and blunt as it deserves. Kudos on a great write.

[Priscilla Sayers]

I wouldn't say "slightly", but you seem to have a flat tone regarding the last line especially, almost cold. I like it.

[Rhea752]

LOVE IT

[Rhea752]

nice. i definitely like that poem hope to see more like that.

[Jab]

It's good. Nice perspective. I really like the way you phrased it as it gives it a double entendre.

[Nautili]

My suggestion would be to shorten the title; it is a bit wordy and I think you could think of a more concise title that could add another element of meaning to it.
i take the line," in case you haven't guessed yet" means you are giving a hypothetical glimpse into a girl's future. I am not too crazy about that line, I think you should use that line to focus more on the girl/woman transition. But that is just an opinion.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Nice perspective. The imagery has no trouble crossing the readers mind as the words just have a natural flow. Sweet work.

[Jock Engelman]

i know that you probably arent going for a particular rhyming scheme but i think that the first and third line does not fit (as in the final words in a rhyming sense)

but otherwise it was a very good write on a different perspective!

rating = 98/100