What Can I do?

What Can I do?

A Poem by SuicidePact.

What were you thinking?

When you ran away....

Was it something you did?

Were you having a bad day?

How can I help you?

Tell me what to say....

I don’t want to lose you

I want you to stay.

© 2012 SuicidePact.


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Reviews

Nice poem I like that it tells about what someone would feel about how much a person wants another even though one person left. To me it shows a longing for some one and also about regret about how a person let someone slip away.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Simple and true. Good poem, I like it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Amazing. It's never easy when someone you care about leaves. You portrayed this perfectly. Great work

Posted 12 Years Ago


Short, sweet to the point is what I like, very nice work (: I certainly enjoyed it

Posted 12 Years Ago


Nice and short. I quite liked the different spacing, it gave it something more. I also enjoyed the story that was in this, and how the last line ended it quite nicely.

Posted 12 Years Ago


A wonderful short write. I like your short poems that have a clear, direct message!

Posted 12 Years Ago


I loved everything. :D ^^

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love the last four lines, the format is really good. Short, but it says a lot. Great write :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Hmm, Nice write. Says a lot.

Posted 12 Years Ago


nice again! ok, but change "was it something you did" to was it something I did, did you have a bad day.. it changes the context in the flow, and removes abstractions and obfuscations.. makes it what i call. SUPER FLOW.. as readers we get the point the meaning and the delivery, without question! LOVE IT!!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago



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831 Views
64 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on April 7, 2012
Last Updated on April 7, 2012

Author

SuicidePact.
SuicidePact.

Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia



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