What Can I do?
A Poem by
SuicidePact.
What were you thinking?
When you ran away....
Was it something you
did?
Were you having a bad day?
How can I help you?
Tell me what to say....
I don’t want to lose you
I want you to stay.
© 2012 SuicidePact.
Reviews
Nice poem I like that it tells about what someone would feel about how much a person wants another even though one person left. To me it shows a longing for some one and also about regret about how a person let someone slip away.
Posted 12 Years Ago
Simple and true. Good poem, I like it.
Posted 12 Years Ago
Simple and true. Good poem, I like it.
Amazing. It's never easy when someone you care about leaves. You portrayed this perfectly. Great work
Posted 12 Years Ago
Amazing. It's never easy when someone you care about leaves. You portrayed this perfectly. Great work
Short, sweet to the point is what I like, very nice work (: I certainly enjoyed it
Posted 12 Years Ago
Short, sweet to the point is what I like, very nice work (: I certainly enjoyed it
Nice and short. I quite liked the different spacing, it gave it something more. I also enjoyed the story that was in this, and how the last line ended it quite nicely.
Posted 12 Years Ago
Nice and short. I quite liked the different spacing, it gave it something more. I also enjoyed the story that was in this, and how the last line ended it quite nicely.
A wonderful short write. I like your short poems that have a clear, direct message!
Posted 12 Years Ago
A wonderful short write. I like your short poems that have a clear, direct message!
I loved everything. :D ^^
Posted 12 Years Ago
I loved everything. :D ^^
I love the last four lines, the format is really good. Short, but it says a lot. Great write :)
Posted 12 Years Ago
I love the last four lines, the format is really good. Short, but it says a lot. Great write :)
Hmm, Nice write. Says a lot.
Posted 12 Years Ago
Hmm, Nice write. Says a lot.
nice again! ok, but change "was it something you did" to was it something I did, did you have a bad day.. it changes the context in the flow, and removes abstractions and obfuscations.. makes it what i call. SUPER FLOW.. as readers we get the point the meaning and the delivery, without question! LOVE IT!!!!
Posted 12 Years Ago
nice again! ok, but change "was it something you did" to was it something I did, did you have a bad day.. it changes the context in the flow, and removes abstractions and obfuscations.. makes it what i call. SUPER FLOW.. as readers we get the point the meaning and the delivery, without question! LOVE IT!!!!
Stats
832 Views
64 Reviews
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on April 7, 2012
Last Updated on April 7, 2012
Author
SuicidePact. Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia
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