You.

You.

A Poem by SuicidePact.

You kissed me, when my eyes were closed.

You held me, we were fully clothed.

You touched me, when the feel arose

You loved me, when you felt it were right.

 You chose me; it was love at first sight.

You protected me, when I was caused a fright.

© 2012 SuicidePact.


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Reviews

i love the flow of rhythm in this poem, especially here:
"You touched me, when the feel arose
You loved me, when you felt it were right."

Posted 12 Years Ago


I like the rhythm of this one--like a clock pendulum

Posted 12 Years Ago


Small, but sweet. Like the rhyming scheme you used also ^(0_0)^ -loves rhymes- And very heartfelt. :) All i might suggest is maybe a little more to a closing but eh, otherwise I love it ^_^

Posted 12 Years Ago


Gives off an aura of innocence. I like it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


The best poems never sound conjured, but flow with ease and ring of truth, well done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Nice flow, very sweet and simple. great work :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Honest and simply written, but I wonder about that last sentence. Nice writing!

You might want to look at this again: "You loved me, when you when you felt it were right." Too many "when you"s.


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the simple structure to this piece and the plainly stated emotions and actions. These are things that everyone deserves to feel. Great work!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Nice poem S. Love is a great feeling we all need in our lives. When we're lucky enough to have someone special that cares, it makes life worth living.

You might want to watch that 4th line.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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793 Views
52 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 5, 2012
Last Updated on April 5, 2012

Author

SuicidePact.
SuicidePact.

Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia



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