Criminal Within Me.

I wipe the tears from my eyes,

Wash the blood from my hands.

What have I done?

Why have I done it?

I’ll plead temporarily insane.

If I run now, maybe I won’t get caught.

If I run now maybe I’ll have a chance at life.

When they find me, it’s the end of me.

What will I tell them? My family and friends...

Will they believe me? When i say I don’t know why?

Will they comfort me? When I start to cry?

Reviews

[EMF]

A nice opening hook. Well structured and smoothly done, but you might want to consider expanding it, sometime in the future. It could be that there is an awful lot more there. I liked it as is though. If farms out so many questions to the reader that they can't help but become a small part of things

[Fragilebrokendreams]

I love the hook, it runs real smoothly, and really grabs the attention of the reader. Considering from what I've read maybe a second part to this is needed to see what happens?

[Michael Opoku-Addo]

Heart stopping poem. Excellent write.

[Angelic Surrender]

Nice work as always :) I like it

[S. Michael Long]

adding more to my last post, we also want to know "what you did" you gave us a great hook, but you never gave us the story behind the hook.. i guess ): I still love this! it has major potential (:!!!! -s

[S. Michael Long]

i like the idea of this.. but i really want to know why you did it, just like you asked the reader, (how do we know why?) tell us! nice write- s

[These Haunted Hallways]

Extremely well written, i love this one of yours. Made perfect sense, because many criminals dont know exactly what they've done until they've actually done it, and the guilt creeps over. Mostly they're done in passio scelus.

[Alex Vidmar]

this is great from beginning to end. Love it.

[Extant]

The guilt of being caught, not of being a murderer, an interesting detail.
What do the families and friends think of their loved one being . . . less than a desirible member of society. A question to keep you up at night if there ever was one.

[eatmills]

Ahh... Macbeth what have you done?

Nice write and yes the blood in a different colour gave it a center. Would have changed "My family and friends..." to "My friends and family..." most people would tell their friends first and it's a rhyming thing and "When i say "

I agree with EMF this is the genesis of something bigger.

[SlightlyOdd]

This is good it grabbed my attention and i like it