HATE

HATE

A Poem by SuicidePact.

I hate being scared.

I hate not knowing.

I hate being unprepared.

I hate feeling alone

I hate it when you aren’t there.

I hate not wanting to go home.

I hate not going anywhere

I hate who I am

I hate being me

I hate not having a friend

I hate it all can’t you see?

© 2012 SuicidePact.


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yeah! yeah! this is nice (: the only thing i can be a critic about is, how you wrote, i hate being alone and hate not wanting to go home, put them together so it reads congruently. you should use the rhyme one after another so its near the middle since you don't emphasize rhyme in the whole poem. put the end rhyme verses one after another (put them in the middle) and leave the others alone. this poem needs to come to a point, (meaning it needs to be sharper) you can use the "home" and "alone" rhyme to sharpen the edge of the poem if you put them together (: you are a great writer! -s

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

this is realy good and useful, i might try this myself...see if i can do anything about these things...you know either change or accept them...i might add new things as i think of them...i hope you do...keep adding to the list here...i will keep coming back, to see if it helps me identify any of mine. Brilliant brilliant stuff. a great journey of self discovery going on here.

Posted 12 Years Ago


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AK
Very nice poem! I completely agree with S. Micheal Long.

Posted 12 Years Ago


For me, this is such a powerful piece. The intensity showed in those bold words.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Love this. The bold font has quite the impact on the intent of the piece. It amplifies the stress you put on the word Hate. Lovely work

Posted 12 Years Ago


very strong words. very direct, which amplifies the feeling.

the saddest line is i hate not having a friend. here have a hug! ()

Posted 12 Years Ago


I felt like I'm the one who wrote it. I always felt that way.. Great job. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Thanks for sharing. Cheers

Posted 12 Years Ago


very nice and simple

Posted 12 Years Ago


Very nice! We all can relate to this. powerful yet simple to the reader.
Great job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


I think we've all been here at one time or another.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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53 Reviews
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Added on April 3, 2012
Last Updated on April 3, 2012

Author

SuicidePact.
SuicidePact.

Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia



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