The way you make me feel.

Have you ever been told...that your hair glistens in the warm sunshine?

Did you realise, that your smile brightens up the room; it takes away all the gloom.

I bet you never knew the way you make me feel,

When we aren’t together i feel so out of touch, I just don’t know who I am, what to do or where to go.

Reviews

[Secret Valentine]

awww this is an adorable write. Please continue

[Blue Ivory]

This is so cute! I remember feeling this way about my crush from last year. God, he was beautiful... And I ended up writing a 665 word essay (precisely counted) just describing his hair and face and how that makes me feel lol

If you wanna talk about this guy, I'm open, btw C=

[khalid]

we all feel the same. very nice work

[WiLL i e]

This is nice. I wouldn't have a clue what it feels like to make someone feel this way, but it sounds soothing.

[Krista Weiss]

Beautiful :) this is like my life haha

[~By R.N.]

The structure makes the poem off. It doesn't flow too well and certain lines are awkward. Try using other words to make this flow better.

Suggestions:
/it takes away all the sorrow, the pain, the gloom

When we aren't together, I feel so out of touch/I don't know who I am, what is left, what is up (just to keep the rhyme going)


Again, these are just suggestions that you don't have to follow. However, I feel as though you should really read this over until you find a better form to develop this in. It could be truly something beautiful and amazing. Just needs a little work :)

[Richy Moon]

... Okay, I guess...

[luna11]

Beautiful :D

[Vivere ad mihi, mi Deus]

i know how that feels, very well done! :)

[?]

Another very nice piece