The way you make me feel.

Have you ever been told...that your hair glistens in the warm sunshine?

Did you realise, that your smile brightens up the room; it takes away all the gloom.

I bet you never knew the way you make me feel,

When we aren’t together i feel so out of touch, I just don’t know who I am, what to do or where to go.

Reviews

[Geraldine]

Very well said. ^^

[S. Michael Long]

i think, change, last stanza to when we arent together i feel so unreal, i just dont know who i am or how to feel, change the 3rd stanza to fit the rhyme, your last words should have the most impact and you story line, should tell the story (: another nice write! -s

[Who Cares]

I have no idea but I thought of a song by Skillet called comatose when I read this. Imagery is nice though there are a few grammatical errors. Nice work Jenn

[Cathy Wattam]

Short and sweet. Sometimes so much can be said in a few words. This is one of those moments. Keep on writing because I believe the best is yet to come :-)

[quixotic_rose]

Its very lovely, but i think it could use one more line maybe? something to make it feel and sound more complete? other than that its very good with the emotional approach of someone who takes in all the little details and loves them how they are, kinda like someone who loves you with or without flaws.

[Barbara Walker]

This is a great beginning, but it left me with a feeling that it's not finshed yet. I'd like to see your last line here end with, or how to be. And maybe, makes it feel finshed? Just my thoughts.

[zero binty]

A very familiar story with all the emotions and feelings intact. No matter what anybody compliments you on, until you can feel it even when they are not around, it just doesn't seem real.

[Pencrafter]

That's what my wife tell me. Again you have created a very nice poem that is enjoyable, to me, because of it's simplicity and ease of understanding. Thanks for the fine effort.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Simple and elegant, well done.