Cops,Crooks and Crims.

Cops,Crooks and Crims.

A Poem by SuicidePact.

To get out of trouble you hire a great lawyer,

He'll get you out of it guitly or not,

These Officers who do favours for those who are mates,

They get them off easy, for no extra rates.

Our system is evil, nobody plays fair,

I have little faith, in those who control our laws,

They're walking among us,

Crims, Crooks and Cops.

 Who am i to trust, when they're all corrupt?

 

© 2012 SuicidePact.


Author's Note

SuicidePact.
# this poem probably isn't that great, wrote it in 10 seconds,

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Reviews

Good thought to be so quickly written. I write quickly, but not that quickly.

Posted 13 Years Ago


You are writing at an alarming rate, mate... and I do mean alarming... Akanksha is right... (: chill Ms. Pact. :) As for this poem, nice! I really like it. A "rant", and I mean that in a good way, well expressed in prose. Thanks for this insight. I'll review more if I can keep with the production rate.. lol

Posted 13 Years Ago


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AK
10 seconds? Are you trying to make it to the Guinea's Book of World Records? Chill. Go back to it and edit it:D but I must say you impress me for a 10 sec poem. The Rhyming scheme. As the while poem is not rhyming, you can't have just two lines rhyming out of the blue. 'mates' and 'rates' that is. And the punctuation, why use only commas? As the sentence ends after 'guilty or not', please use a full stop. Also try incorporating semi colons wherever necessary.
Also, it's a poem NOT a sentence. So you could try changing the word syntax and use more 'poetic' words if you get what I mean. Try replacing normal adjectives like 'great'. And you misspelt 'guilty' as 'guitly'.
I understand you're furious at the system but we the readers are not able to feel it. Try making it longer, or using stronger words or streamlining the flow of the poem. Also, I believe the last line is a very crucial part in the judgement of the quality of a piece. Please try making it more powerful, inspiring, et cetera.
I know I'm being really blunt, but I wanted to help. It was a pleasure reviewing your piece.
~Akanksha Suresh

Posted 13 Years Ago


Good poem, I like poems that are critical - enjoyed the alliteration of the second to last line, apart from the typo guitly a good poem.especially from such a young writer.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Spelt out too plainly. Lacks the subtlety I crave in a poem. But the rhythm is there.

Posted 13 Years Ago


sometimes is hard to figure out who to trust. You can always trust yourself. Excellent write!

Posted 13 Years Ago


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?
This is true...but just like the rest of us, their are some good...some bad
Nice write

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on March 18, 2012
Last Updated on March 18, 2012

Author

SuicidePact.
SuicidePact.

Not telling!, SecretVille., Australia



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