Kaetalita, that's a strange name.

July 20th 1989

 

Today me and Tera surfed the waves together, It was as though there was a silent competition going on, and i still don't know who's the winner. afterward we waded upon the waters surface, sitting on our boards, legs dangled in the cool waters. We were talking and talking, just like old friends, like we had known eachother forever. Don't get me wrong I'm still angry at him for invading my land, but at times I'm just lonely and Tera's always there, I need someone to talk to.

 

"So, do you go to school around here?" he asks me.

"No, after a while Dad got sick of picking me up from the principals office, so I've been home schooled for most of my life."

"Smart move."

"Hey!" I scoop up the water and fling it across at him, but it's definately hard to use this method of annoyance on a surfer, we love the water.

"Do you know many of the locals?" Another question, man he is curious.

"Tera, I know those who are worth knowing."

"Even me?"

"Sure, even you." I guess he had me there.

"Shucks, thanks Kat."

"Kaetalita" I correct him.

"Kaetalita, You have such a beautiful name, it's unique, haven't heard it before."

"My Mother made it up. She wanted to call me Katey, But Dad has his heart set on Lalita, after his grandmother, My name was a compromise."

"Katey seems so plain"

"She had her heart set out on leaving this place, she hated it here, hated all the traditions, hated the island, but she never made it out."

Hot tears were starting to form in my eyes, but there was no way I was letting myself cry in front of this bafoon.

"I miss my Mum too." he whispers, well i thought it was a whisper, the wind started to pick up and the sound was drained out, we started to paddle into shore, where we talked some more.

 

I was home later than usual, My father was already asleep on the couch, so I switched off the television and went off to bed.

Reviews

[symmetryAsymmetry]

I found myself reading someone's chitchat...no grave philosophical or spiritual discussion, no extremely funny wisecracks...and yet it kept me interested till the last word...and also, your descriptions of the surroundings and the setting are very vivid...the picture builds itself smoothly in the readers mind...
great job here :-)

[SlightlyOdd]

Hmm that was good probably a unnoticed big step in their relationship and in the beginning use i instead of Mr in the first sentence i noticed that and thought i should point it or that than that it was very good keep it up

[Morrigan Nicole]

I like where this is going! I am eager to read more! hurry! Im am straving for the next chapter!!!

[Morrigan Nicole]

Nice, but i agree with lowesy, you are getting your tenses confused, maybe from rushing, but watch for these things.

[Lowesy]

Oh, and also, maybe add some descriptions in between dialogue, otherwise there's too much talking and not enough focus on their emotions and gestures and such.

[Lowesy]

few things, you're getting your tenses mixed up. The way you started it was like an entry into a diary, that would mean the writer is looking back onto this scene. So, a sentence like 'afterward we waded upon the waters surface, sitting on our boards, legs dangled in the cool waters'. First, the 'afterward should be capital. Then the 'waters' should have an apostraphe. Then the tenses, you've got 'sitting on our boards', a present tense to 'legs dangled in the cool waters', which is past. It was a very short chapter, wanted to throw that out there. You need to proof read your work.

[Marie]

Kaetalita is definitely a beautiful name. She and Tara seem to comfortable together.

[Becky Clancy]

Once again you have out done yourself, another great chapter :DD Keep up the good work ^_^b

[Jibey]

So... moving along nicely... both feeling sorry for themselves...

[quarintine_deathangel]

Simple and somehow it was interesting and informative.

[Amila Jay]

Getting to know about Kat and the two are getting to be fond of each other:)