#I don't like swearing, usually i avoid it, but this is about something that has hurt me alot, and I just needed to use those words, the wounds haven't healed yet and I feel so strongly about this!!! so im sorry if that word offends you.
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This is just beautiful. The raw emotions that are left here are quite powerful, and you've been able to harness them just enough to create something with them. It is a powerful work that is easily relatable. I feel that too many times we don't give anger enough credit for it's power to be creative, but this proves that wrong. The structure is nice, repeating a question is brilliant. I'd love to know what sparked this gem to be written. Thank you.
Damn, so powerful I can tottally understand how anyone would be upset at this. I generally see myself asking these kind of things to girls and guys who have lost their dignity in such a shameful way.
What a piece of pure untamed anger, the accused made to be a monster in the readers eyes, which im sure is how you wanted it.
The anger and aggression directed with words of venom that ring and twirl within your poetry... brilliantly done
No offense taken, that's why we write and have the liberties of freedom of speech.
Sometimes when we vent it makes for the best writing as with this piece. Nicely done..
P.S. I forgot how old you are, but this SAME thing happened to me when I was 15 (I just read the descrip. and author's note!!). That old best friend now has a son (she got pregnant and didn't graduate HS), and she's actually doing quite well despite it all. I have grown so much since all that hurt and her abandoning me that now I'm proud of her. She's a nurse and it getting married. She's not the best person ever, it's true, but she's done rather well for herself in spite of that. I hope the same for your former friend and I hope this hurt helps you grow as a person yourself and maybe even realize it's a great example of "what not to do".
your being used ----> you're
your sleeping around -----> you're
I love this. BUUUUUUT if I may make a small suggestion, I kept thinking how great it would be if you wrote this poem over, kinda overhauled it, and did it from "her" perspective and talked about how it "feels good", and maybe made it kinda sexually charged to draw in the reader; you can do that tastefully, by the way. That's what I usually try to do. But anyway, you could let time pass and she could talk about how it "feels bad" and paint the picture of what her oversexuality (if that's a real word) has done to every other aspect of her life. I am going to school to be a sex therapist, so this is kinda my forte (maybe that's why my mind took it this direction), but I think there is a lot you could do with this idea if you considered her stance. I'm not sure who this is about, but I think you could do a lot for yourself and this situation with her if you considered her motivations. You're hurt by her behavior, but consider her motivations and maybe write about it. What feels good about it? It's not just the sexual pleasure, surely. Does the attention feel good? Attention she should be getting elsewhere, maybe? Just a thought. I really hope you consider this, because I would LOVE to read it. Great piece, and sorry I rambled.
KH