The Break Up song

I hate that I made you cry.

I hate that you want to die.

What is there for me to do?

When I’ve lost all my love for you!

Was I meant to keep pretending?

Have you a fake happy ending...

You should know that, that’s not me.

I just couldn’t be what you wanted me.

 

I can’t take it anymore,

So I’ll just sit here on the floor

Thinking back to when we met,

I just wanted all of that.

 

We were once in love,

A love, love that was so strong…

Or so we thought,

Or so we thought.

But we were wrong.

 

Baby, that’s what you called me,

Maybe that’s what you wanted

But it’s too late.

It’s too late.

I hope one day,

You’ll forget the pain

And learn how to love again,

Learn it all again.

 

I can’t do this anymore,

Don’t come knocking at my door.

You thought I was perfect,

And I just couldn’t take that.

 

We were once in love,

A love, love that was so strong…

Or so we thought,

Or so we thought.

But we were wrong.

 

I can’t be her anymore.

Not the one that you adore

I can’t take it anymore,

I put a lock on my door,

I can’t take it,

You can’t fake it.

I’m not her,

I’m not her.

 

We were once in love,

A love, love that was so strong…

Or so we thought,

Or so we thought.

But we were wrong.

 

We were wrong..

Author's Note

My first attempt at writing a song...

Reviews

[Heromen Selena]

Very sad feeling. Eventually someone's perception can be mixed because they are blinded by the love for that person. I have no idea if this relates to What you're feeling inside but love is a veil that obscures visions. With that said, love also can make things clear. Even the most terrible people find love, and we are not all perfect. Everyone has their own perception of perfect. Very lovely poem :)

[Pencrafter]

If this is your first attempt at songwriting I think you just found your new career. Songs are poetry set to music. Find the beat and keep on writing!

P.S. When you become a famous author of song, send me an autographed something.

[SuicidePact.]

HAHAHAHa oh wow you made me blush

[Barbara Walker]

I think it's a great first attempt at a song! In the first stanza, last line, I think it makes more sense to read, "I couldn't be what you wanted me to be." I notice you use the word "just" quite a bit in your writing. I believe, if you try writing without it, you will see, much of the time, it is not necessary to the meaning and flow of your work. At times, it interferes with the flow and rhythm.

[SuicidePact.]

thanks for the tip :))

[Leslie Philibert]

There is a lot of difference between poetry and songs, although some musicians like Bob Dylan are fantastic poets too and bridge the gap, what I like here is you have got the right feeling for a song, simple lines that rhyme that have an direct emotional content. Good write.

[SuicidePact.]

thank you :)

[GunMetal]

Can't say this is my cup of tea as far as content is concerned, but I appreciate the feeling you put into it, and it would fit fine on top of some music. Keep it up.

[Aehr]

i'd love to hear it with music.... If, by any chance, you put any music along, please put it as a video on cafe... i really liked the emotions in this one.

[SuicidePact.]

If I could do anything with music I would totally do that, but until i find someone who can help me than it's just a dream!

[Aehr]

aww... why is that so?

[Seanne Tholltree]

this is so nice, the rhymes and all wish to hear it with tune..

[ba_mcfarlane]

There is love, there is life
When they don't line up
When they don't combine
Avoid the strife
Get it out of
Your life
Haul a*s
Stop wasting
Your time

[The Analog Kid]

Some good rhymes in here and VERY lyrical:)

[darkness*star1985]

Good work, for a song you kicked it... i love it...

[SuicidePact.]

Thank you :)

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

I sang it. Beginning to end. Excellent! I love it!!!

[SuicidePact.]

Thank you!

What kind of tune did you come up with?

haha

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Only the best! XD