Night

Night time used to be peace time
Now I dread night time
Me and my self
Quiet yet scary
Dark yet gloomy
I'm frightened
But can't explain why
Need happiness
But can't find it
What is wrong with me

Reviews

[Green]

It can be hard when you're unsure why you feel so down. Night time is such a peaceful time, it can usually soothe my troubled mind if I can get myself to be still long enough. I have found that looking up at the stars can have an immensely therapeutic effect for me. Hopefully you find something similar that can work for you as well. This was very relatable, however. That feeling of searching for something without quite knowing what or even why you're searching.

[Ja Dour]

My friend poetry can be about emotions it might be a way of soneone to express their feelings take for example the below

Sad Poem

Having no friend makes me sad, Even the days go bad, With nobody around, No one to play with me, A bee stung me, As pain glides through my soul, As my body burns like coal, I have to cry, to leave all the pain out, As I scream through my jaws, Asking for help, With nobody around, To look far out, If I go out,

I won't be able to find my way in, As they covered the exit, full of sadness, With no way in, With no place full of happiness, I will stay locked out, With my soul covered in coal.

Sarah Shahzad, January 2020

[JayG]

• What is wrong with me

Well, to begin with, you're talking to yourself. 😆

Look at your approach. You're talking to yourself about things that have meaning only to you. And that's not poetry, it's introspection. Lacking context, it's meaningless to anyone else.

Why does that matter? Well, did you come here today hoping to find out what's bothering me today? Do you think there are many who woke today wondering what mood you're in?

No. People come to poetry to be entertained, not depressed. They want to be made to feel and care, not shrug and say, "Uhh...okay."

my point is that poetry's job is to make the reader feel the emotion, not learn how others feel.

Think about it from a reader's viewpoint: Place yourself on a bus. Someone you know nothing about approaches you and says, "I'm frightened but can't explain why." What can you say but, "Uhh...okay," as you back away?

Poetry is NOT us making the reader know of our mood, our problems, and our feelings. It's making the READER feel it for the same reasons. It INVOLVES the reader, it doesn't lecture them. And of importance, how to do that is a learned skill, not mentioned as existing during our school years.

But why would they mention it? Their job is to prepare us for the needs of employment. And how many employers need us to write poetry, other than greeting card companies?

So...without discounting your situation or problems, except to perhaps provide a diversion, why not dig into the skills of poetry that have been developed over the centuries? It might not help, but like the proverbial chicken soup for a cold, it can't hurt. 😋

Try this: Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook, is an excellent resource, and is filled with little surprises that will make you say, "But that makes sense. How did I not see that, myself?"

You can download or read a copy on the site linked to below.
https://www.docdroid.net/7iE8fIJ/a-poetry-handbook-pdfdrivecom-pdf

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

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“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”
~ E. L. Doctorow