Lichfield to Stoke III

From my 'Train Journey' Collection.

Grey clouds mingle

Pessimistic cows warm-

Under bellies

Author's Note

As with all my haiku, it still needs to be revised as I'm still very new to the genre.

Reviews

[Jaden Larker]

Cheers. Although personally when I meant the grey clouds were mingling with the white clouds. And the pessimism of the cows referred to the few that were laying down (and assuming they were expecting rain) while the rest were standing (not expecting rain). Was a play on the fact that the weather could go either way. And the dash is there purely because the second and third lines flow into one.

[Clockwork]

I like the idea of the clouds mingling with the shape of the cow. I think that you could make that thought flow more fluidly if you removed the word pessimistic from line two and focused more how the cloud and the cow looked when the came together. I also think that you can remove the dash between lines two and three.