Prologue: The Beggining

It was October 31 1821,a night like no other. In the cold and raging snow up in the high cold mountains in a place called The Gates of Darkness a feared vampire and carnomancer named Raziel Blutnacht took a walk to the usual place he always went to meet with the beautiful light temptress Eva Aegis Angelis. Eva was pregnant so for the past nine months Raziel had kept his distance from Eva, but this time he had a whole different plann. As Eva got closer to him there was only one thing he always desired, fulfilling the prophecy he always wanted, the darkest of prophecies. The one that would crash open the gates of hell for the rest of eternity. The prophecy of the three eternal sacrifices. As Eva got closer Raziel said “Eva my darling you look awfully tired why don’t I help you bathe and relax” Eva smiles and agrees. Raziel takes her clothes off slowly and begins to bathe her slowly. Eva closes her eyes, relaxing and right then she feels a stabbing and agonizing pain. Raziel with the power of pure darkness starts rip the baby out of her stomach as the prophecy demands. All Raziel could hear was Eva’s agonizing screams of pain until they stop all that was heard was silence and then a cry of a baby girl who Raziel named Jade Evangeline. Jade came from the jade stone necklace Raziel stole from Eva long ago and Evangeline came from Eva’s full name. Raziel left leaving Eva’s lifeless body behind and baby Jade in his arms.

      ~~~    

Years passed after that blood drenched night and Raziel raised Jade as his own daughter harnessing her new found abilities with different masters, teaching her new ways of using her powers. Jade Evangeline grew up without a mother and her father unknown. Raziel was like her father but she knew it wasn’t true, she thought Raziel had founded her alone and abandoned in the streets. Jade Evangeline possessed the power of pyromancy and cryomancy. Every day she trained harder. Her first master was Ignis Obscura; it came from the Latin word “dark fire”. Ignis trained her in the art of pyromancy. This were not easy times for Jade, pyromancy was a very difficult art of magic. Jade got burns, cuts even scars, but she didn’t stop for she knew that one day she would have to overcome her own master. Her second master was Lux et Aqua, master of all cryomancy, he taught Jade how to control her fire outburst. Most of the time Jade froze something and it quickly melted. Ignis and Lux were very strict and demanding teachers, whenever Jade did something wrong they would punish her by hitting her with a whip. Jade despised her lifestyle, she was miserable every day of her life, thinking Raziel was her father and he loved her, it’s clear to say Raziel loves no one but himself. At night jade wasted in sighs as she wished she had an easy and loving life but she know it wouldn’t happen.

Author's Note

Ignore Grammar, please comment on content and Dialogue and Main idea. Thanks :)

Reviews

[Jack Wolfe]

Okay, well first and foremost, it is very difficult for writer such as myself not to notice writing style and grammatical rules, but since you have bound me to giving input only to the tale at hand, I shall do my best.

You have what could be made into a very entertaining story, and though I'm not a big reader of fantasy, I have read my share, enough to where I didn't need to scavenge the net looking for the meanings of the elemental feats she possessed.

The problem is you have the makings of a story, but no real story . . . a lot happens, but the reader experiences none of it . . .I would love to see this fleshed out and reworked, because I'm curious as to where Jade's journey would lead her, but I need a reason to care.

[Jade Divine]

Thanks i shall work on that. :) ill post more chapters to keep it going and here more reviews.