Obituary for the living, but gone

Tears roll down my cheeks while I listen to a song that reminds me of you. I'm giving myself space to cry, and to mourn your loss. I've never cried. Not over anyone. Sometimes we need to, apparently. Maybe that's why I'm so damaged. Because I've always held everything in, kept things to myself. That's just who I am. So this is a new experience for me. But I don't know how to cope with your loss. I didn't cry when I lost my wife, she was my partner in crime. I didn't cry when I lost my daughter, and she was my universe. I didn't cry when I went to prison, and that was my life. I didn't cry when I got stabbed, that was my health. I didn't cry when I lost my home, my job, my possessions. But for you, I'll cry. I don't know who you are that you were able to do this to me, but I'm glad I got to know you. You will always be missed, and I will never be the same again. You showed me a new side of the world. A different light to shine on everything I thought I knew. You showed me that there were beautiful things in the world. No one will ever have the place in my heart that I've given you. 
Maybe someday the sun will shine. But today is not that day.