Jornal entry

Listen up Ladies and gents. Let me explain why it is imperative not to become cut off from the outside world. From your family, friends, hobbies. I've been engaged now for 3 years, And I've got a beautiful, lovely, sweet, smart, funny, and overall stunning woman at my side. She's stuck by me through a dozen moves around the country, stuck by my side living in a garden shed in freezing weather while we used a blow dryer for heat. Thick and thin, she's been my only constant, the only thing I've never lost. I've lost homes, all of my material possessions, my Daughter.. I've lost everything and everyone I've ever cared about. And now, with her being my only constant, I've become so Invested in her that she is being driven away. She dreads my texts and calls because I'm constantly asking her questions. whatcha doing, where ya been, why didn't you answer your phone? And for the longest time, I was convinced that it was because I didn't trust her. But that's not why. She's never cheated on me. Never left my side. Never lied to me about anything that matters, and always kept my best interest in mind. I'm the problem. I'm smothering her, not because she deserves it or has done me wrong, but because I've allowed myself to become so cut off from the world that she is my only lifeline. I stalk her phone and online activity, and realized that I stopped expecting to find anything years ago. I do it because I am completely and utterly alone. Because it makes me feel connected to someone. That need for human interaction with no one else to direct it at is damaging our relationship, so mush so that I'm worried it's going to end. Not because of anything she's done, not because she's not in love with me anymore, but because this relationship is becoming a responsibility to her instead of something she enjoys. If you can relate to me, go outside, before it's too late. Get a hobby, Make friends, give each other space. It should be a pleasure to be around your loved ones, not a constant burden. And it's okay to want that affection, to want support, but you have to branch out. Or you'll crush each other.