Red Cars

This is something I just wrote, I'm not sure about the way it reads so any feedback would be appreciated. Cheers. :)

You could come to my place,
We’ll watch a DVD,
Fall asleep in each others arms,
Your blonde hair tickling me.

I’ll wake you up in the morning,
By moving your head off my chest,
You’ll pretend to be asleep though,
Just to watch me rest.

And when I eventually crawl off the sofa,
You’ll ask where I’m going,
I’ll say to the kitchen,
And you’ll ask me to get you something.

Maybe toast or coffee,
Possibly frosted cornflakes,
But definitely not bacon ‘cos you’re a vegetarian,
all about green tea rice cakes.

Then an hour later we’ll be smoking cigarettes,
Stood on my front lawn,
Watching red cars go by,
And staring at the red dawn.

You’ll kiss me and I’ll hold you,
My arms tight around your body,
My hands on your back,
And you’ll smell of coffee.

You’ll tell me to tell you you’re beautiful,
And I’ll willingly oblige,
Because you look amazing on my lawn,
And I know you’ll always be mine.

Reviews

[cfix]

I adore this write and love the imagery and descriptiveness. You did an amazing job on this wonderful write.