Drunk with a Cow - '16

One of my friends challenged me to do a parody of Dierks Bently's "Drunk on a Plane" overnight and this happened. Not really a parody though but still funny a bit. Whatev's

Well here's how the story goes,
it was one sunday afternoon,
I was thinking about you,
and what the preacher man said that morning,
he told me "son don't you worry,
believe in god and his glory,
and by tonight you'll be doing alright",

so I took his advise,
an' got dressed up all nice,
went to knock on her door,
just for the woman to say,
"sleep with the other animals,
out in the barn and eat the hay,
get off my porch right now",
and so my friends...I'm drunk with a cow,

* It's such a cold and lonely night,
but hey that's ok,
because I feel a bit tipsy,
ain't nothing like eighty proof,
of getting over you,
or hanging with the chickens,
'cos I know they'll listen,
when I ask can you tell me how,
I'm here drunk with a cow,

yeah the sun was startin' to rise,
when I heard the roosters cry,
so I shook off the dust and wandered outside,
and to my surprise she's waitin for me,
she's all like "I hope your ready to get dirty",
I said I like where this is going,
she threw a gas can and said "now get mowing,
then maybe I'll let you rest on the couch,
if you were to ever quit being a slouch",

so I spent the day cutting grass,
getting burnt up sweating like a hog,
she told me "you always were half a*s,
tomorrow you'll just have to again,
but I like having you around",
and now it's one more night,
drunk with a cow,

*

day number four,
she said "I cant take it anymore,
come on in and have yourself a drink",
I had the worst hangover,
what was I thinking,
when her head laid on my shoulder,
she laughed and told me,
I'm right where I need to be,
'cos only I can put up with her crazy,
she asked what I been up to,
and here's all I had to say,

*.

Author's Note

It's a bit long but eh.