Journal entry two; July 24, 2015:

Second journal entry in my series :)

Trepidation - the trembling of all that I am cascading down like a feather of all I will be.
Weighing down the anchors of who I’m becoming and who I still exist in - Fear, unambiguous, unparalleled fear, for the possibility of loss is one that causes disquietude as it rests on my shoulders.
The rest of my heart strings will be an undeniable knot of this in between, this anguish of being existential, yet having no real sustenance; my mind is a room furnished with little but your companionship.
And all I want is for the strings inside of me to be repaired.
From the moment I met you, I saw you see something spark in me, and I - with deathly white cheeks - fear that if you do not light the candle that is me for a long enough period of time, I will surely never combust.
I will lose all that you have taught me; life will - as joy wilts - bring pain and suffering to the tilts and games, debunking the myth of my spry demeanor.
Simply - I will break.
You have brought me so much light.
As you cease to exist within my world, your smiles will dissipate to knew characters, know that my smiles will only be in fond memory of a few - and most importantly of you.
I already feel so swallowed by the vastness of what we don’t know.
Yet you make the inescapable death of darkness a more bearable track of life.
I have one redeemable word of advice: If you have a fire and a passion burning deep within, take a deep breath and feed it oxygen.
And I already feel this passion growing for you, it being a pit in the howls of my heart.
People grow. People change. People differ.
It makes it so I have this little piece, this piece of darkness that I must carry all by my own.
With you, the escapades of solitude bleed small fragments of light.
And it's appallingly selfish, but I want you, only you, to help me shine.