Steady

This poem was for a contest: Write a letter to someone you once loved asking for one more chance. It didn't win, but I was proud of it cuz I suck at rhyming.

It has been an eternity
And you still think I'm psycho.
Now I'm with someone and I'm happy,
That's not what I wanted to write though.

You see, my love for you gave me no peace,
And I spent all our blissful days worrying.
You wanted to take your time to fall in love with me,
Instead, I pushed you away by hurrying.

I know in those foolish young days,
I frightened you when I fell apart,
But please know this came from the right place,
Please understand I loved you from the start.

I'm going to beg for one more minute,
Although we've let so much time pass by already.
Even if you love me again only to leave,
I swear I'll hold; I'll be rock steady.

I'll give you some space to think about this,
If you want me, I'll be around.
We can be friends again,
And in love we'll cover new ground.

I'm pleading with you to forgive me,
To love me with all of your might.
Then we can burn with passion for the rest of our days,
And scorch the edges of night.

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

You see, my love for you gave me no peace,
And I spent all our blissful days worrying.
You wanted to take your time to fall in love with me,
Instead, I pushed you away by hurrying.

And you still think I'm psycho

That word "psycho" burns me! When a person lets down their guard and falls in love before the other person, this is not a recipe for psycho. To whomever: "Come on did he or she kill the pet rabbit and boil it or steal your kid". Probably not! Sorry I just had to let that rant roam. Damn good job on this poem and yes, you can rhyme!

[Laura E. Aranda]

Awww
this is the third piece that I have read by you and I really like it
The last stanza rocked!
It was a perfect ending.....cheers, lea

[Laura Sparkle]

I agree with Ray. The rhyme seemed teriffic and the plot was good as well. Well done buddy! :)

[Ivory]

I think I read this before cafe deleted everything. But i truely love the honesty of this piece.
And you said you couldn't write poetry. lol
This is a very beautiful pice Jac : )

[Rain]

Rhyming seemed good to me. You can forget about being friends. That never works. I thought you did a good job with describing the relationship. Rain..

[Karen Raquepo]

Well expressed poem, yeah, the rhyming is good, also on how the poem stands. Keep up the good work, Jacklyn!