Upward Descent

Lets crash together....Lets crash

Eleven Eleven

Is just 50 50

Cause with out you

I find no me

An I find it pretty lonely

Carving out names

In the giving tree

My heart is a paltry thought

a bitter pill, a rusty nail

a swing set on a hill

But its just an awkward picture

Of our heads going through the wind shield

The devil looks good

When I'm wearing his eyes

An she fell apart tonight

I choke on the steps of a slow dance

waiting for it to make sence

The sky is spinning, the ground is bent

Trying to get back to the beginning

but I cant transend

Its not even rainning

Romeo's back is braking

I'm painting a picture of your silhouette

Cold air looks like smoke of a cigarette

Slithers past her mouth

Like a modern day waltz

I forget to step in threes

So I walk across walls

In drop C

She saw the sea

that I held down

With arms like anchors

I strike these memories

There not enough

To bring you back

To scrape my knees

The ships sailing up

A rivers well black

Sinking in tiny cracks

That fetch over changing tides

Braking on the shores

Just short of

you and I

Short hellos

followed

by long goodbyes

A bullets smoke

Bleeds out of your throat

Seamed like she enjoys the silence

But the reason is

She took my maps

Drove to the end

I'm on the edge

Jumping off

Getting lost

Confide to opposite ends of heaven

Is this what we wished at Eleve Eleven?

Author's Note

frick i wish i finished this earlier an not went skating

Reviews

[Vin]

I really like this :) the flow is great and the emotion shown is amazing. A pretty good write all in here minus a few spelling errors which generally didn't disrupt the flow that much for me and are easily sorted :) Good job.

-Beth

[Reika]

Hmm. Okay, wow. I read through that like, six times.
I seriously love the way you write.
It's a weird feeling. I get it every time I read one of your poems,
I kind of get lost in it, almost as if I'm breaking free from reality.
It's almost like when I listen to music when I ride home on the bus, I tend to just tune everything out and immerse myself in the song, you know? It's the same with your poems. And, like I always say, your imagery is so fricken amazing. I want to paint/draw scenes from this. I do. Like jumping off the cliff, or standing there, walking in threes, eleven eleven, the devils eyes, opposite sides of heaven...would that be okay?
I'll show them to you later. I might be up late tonight...this morning...so I'm going to draw them.

Spelling: Sense, throat, seemed, eleven. and..."They're not enough" instead of ("Their not enough..")..haha and this is one of the only times you spelled "awkward" right. :D

I think a lot of your poetry is flowing a lot better than it did before, and this one...it brings up so many different ...emotions? I don't know..like, I feel that I am that person, and I am in love, but something happened to my other half. We made a wish, a promise of some sort, and it feels like she didn't fulfill it because she found something else, something that distracted her and kind of left me hanging. And she just...took my feelings, and my heart, made it feel like it wasn't worth her time and left.. So now I'm stuck here, what do I do? I'm wondering what went wrong and what could have caused this and the poem ends.

*sigh* or maybe I'm just stating the obvious. Your poem is great. And I think when you were reading it earlier, the reception cut off around Romeo's back, because I don't remember it...