Stream of Leaves

A stream of consciousness poem, set in Autumn.

 Stream of Leaves

 

 

“Why is there always something wrong with you?”

 

 You asked in a two tone double-ended monologue,

Our voices grayscaled in the rain of leaves.

But me, I took time to think, and so when I had finally opened my heart

To answer, all I saw was past run-ins with future shadows of a hope…

That I might get another glimpse of you

But between straight-faced talking—

Head cameos and late night loss

Of inhibitions, I still have yet to not want to find you.

 —I was hoping you could help—

 

I thought I’d find you on the night side mountaintop, eclipsed,

But you said you don’t climb mountains, never gonna,

And so I’m stuck waiting for myself

To be less like me…

 

—Here’s where you come in—

“Why?” I lip-read in your slack eyes,

But this time I was quicker in my perfect-childhood observations:

“Go fix yourself,” I mumbled,

Self-made optimism kicking in halfway so that I forgot

Entirely about broken arm flying, falling.

It let me go on:

“I know I can’t control you,

Even though you’d let me.”

 See, I don’t need these like Band-Aids

For people who won’t let themselves believe

That they can bleed.  

 

So when you looked hurt,

I only raised my voice and saran-wrapped wings:

“Step up outside yourself and rethink

Overthinking. Stop acting and soft-lip-slipping hard-skin-shedding Do.”

Yeah, I know I was never close-eyed tight-fisted

Touched, as you were, but I’ve manufactured my own bruises.

As a child I grew to understand that it fell to me

To invite their demons down my half-mile

Dirt road buffer, and I’ve said some nice things

I’d like to take back, but can’t.

  

So here’s a self-forged IOU to keep you safely

In your lonely nights.

“I know it’s been really, really hard sometimes,”

The wind and I golden letter whispered in frayed footing and loose edges,

“And I know you’ve been cracked-fishbowl lonely,

Lost in your handheld house of mirrors

Closed mouth letting the rain in.

I just…

Want to be lonely with you.”

 

—Honest account,

From a Blank Passport

 

Reviews

[cest la vie]

First reviewer..Difficult position..

I read this piece a few times, and each time came away with such a desperate feeling. You have done a most wonderful job here. On so many levels. The dialogue is like none I have read here.
I am almost speechless, as this is one of the best pieces I have ever read here.
To cite favorite lines, difficult. One stands out:
"And so I'm stuck waiting for myself
To be less like me� "

Your willingness to sacrifice to be with the one you love is beyond scope.

This is an absolutely magnificent piece.

[Through the Gateway]

It's difficult to review this and not sound like I'm just magpieing what everyone else has said, but this really is damned good. A wonderful tryst through a broken relationship...a beautiful rant. It is exceptionally well done.

[Ed Hart]

Some people try to write poetry, and just leave stumbly footprints in the wet cement. Fortunately, there other like you, whose soul is already writing poetry before the rest of you finds the first word....Ed

[Una Xoto]

ah very nice on every form & spark. It has a marvelous pulse to it.

[Vesa Lee]

What is there left that I could add? *smile*
Humble though my own talent may be, I know greatness at a glance.
And I believe that's what you have here.

Well done.
Please continue in the mastery of your art.

[Perdition]

What a great sprinkling of leaves....these the thoughts that keep the tree alive..the hope and connection although the tree has begun to lose it's "DO" and therefore the thought of it's death emanates from more leaves sprinkling...Memories...efforts ..guilt over words spoke ...words that made you who you are today. And she in two toned double-ended confusion..in monologue ..rehearsal...not communication ..but in some effort all the same...but to what end ? To what presence do those leaves serve the tree ?
I gotta say ..Pretty damn streamed....Nice

[Charles]

Kudos to you - I echo what the other reviewers have already stated. It's really difficult to do conversations well in poetry, but you've managed to do so nicely here. There are many really good lines wherein you describe innermost feelings - really yoo many to list here. I think I'd hyphenate the adjective-phrases 'saran-wrapped' and 'cracked-fishbowl.' Great writing. Well deserving of its award. :-)

[Star Cross]

This piece was by far one of the most phenomenal piece of poetry of I've read. Truly, your words hit the heart and has taken me though a journey in such a simple poem. Absolutely wonderful.

[LJW]

Stunning. Incredibly unique.

This:

I thought I'd find you on the night side mountaintop, eclipsed,

But you said you don't climb mountains, never gonna,

And so I'm stuck waiting for myself

To be less like me�


is incredibly profound and something I wish I had written.

This:

And I know you've been cracked fishbowl lonely

is one of the best lines I've read in a poem, ever. Imagine the utter desperation added to the loneliness knowing the water in which you live and need to survive may trickle slowly out of said fishbowl.

Sent to me as a read request by Lynne. :-)

[Rick Puetter]

This is a very desperate piece describing a difficult relationship. Personalities are grating on each other and these personalities are not going to change. They are rubbing each other raw and the pain is becoming unbearable. Still it seems the only solution is to bear the pain as there is also such desire to be together. A horrid realization that there is nothing to be done.

A wonderful write. The picture of suffering and longing pieced together from so many cameo views. Nicely done.

My best regards,

Rick

[Jeanmarie Flaherty]

PERFECT!! Oh...wait, yes amazingly perfect...

"I just�

Want to be lonely with you."

And that's how I feel on most days of the week...I cannot tell you how much I love this work. It's beautifully strong....it's a big eff you wrapped in pretty words and I ADORE that.

You did an amazing job here, sweetie...I was wondering if he'd even understand the IOU ;)