The Stranger

A poem story

Walking down the alley I look back to see if there is someone there
I'm pretty sure I heard something even though I don't see where
Quickening my pace as fear starts to grip my body bit by bit
Shooting a glance behind me, but suddenly something hard is what i hit

 

Falling on the wet, cold ground I look up to see the figure of a man
Leaning forward to grab me I jumped up and ran
I only got a few feet when I felt a sudden pain in the back of my head
Not being able to get up "Stop" is what I said

 

Curling up waiting to receive another blow, but receiving nothing I glance up to see yet another man
Hitting my attackers face, grinning as if he had another plan
He stood in front of me and braced himself to fight some more
he whispered something to me "It's ok, you don't need to be scared anymore"

Trying to get up, but not being able to I sat there and stared
Watching this man I didn't know fighting my attacker, wondering why he cared
The stranger knocked the other guy down and turned to me and said "Are you going to be alright? Let me see the injury on your head"

 

As he leaned forward I saw his face up close and it almost made me cry
I realized he had blood coming down his forehead and down his face staining his shirt as i looked at this guy
His voice was strong when he said "stay still I’m going to wipe your blood away"
He took some of his shirt that didn’t have any blood on it for me, I didn't know what to say

 

Then picking me up he carried me home and said "Be careful out there, it's a cruel world here"
Fighting back the tears I said "thank you so much, I don’t know how to repay you, do u live near?"
"I just moved here and I happened to see you" is what he said

Closing my eyes I  was thankful neither of us was dead

 

He left me at my home and I watched him walk away
Thanking him once again, promising to never stray
I never saw him again, he never told me his name
I'll never forget him, I'll never be the same
 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

your have a sort of rhythm you're trying to pull of, it seems to be ok.

when it comes to form, it works out fine.

there is good story flow, that I can definitely see.

But I really liked your message best. This is a song sang by a person saved by a superhero perhaps.

Altruism in the eyes of the person saved.

A good piece.

Try to play around with words, build some sensory imagery, keep your pieces flirtingly short, but full of soul. Like a stare, no words, but full of stories. You have great concept, and you are definitely able to pull it off. You have it starting out well.