I See...

I See...

I see battles right next door
Girlfriends beat and wives ignored
I see drinking I see drugs
I see children living without love.

 

I see mountains shawled with snow
I see trees so strong and tall
I see Eagles soaring through the sky
I see such beauty that it makes me cry.

 

I see lonely, I see sad, I see dirty, I see mad
Vacant minds, abandon hearts, hollow bellys
Homeless people under the bridge in the dirt
Times to hard and souls to hurt.

 

I see ice blue waters running free
The Glacier by the waterfall
Forest lands, meadows, the red of the rose
Birds, bears, squirrels, ravens and crows.

 

I see the children getting drunk
I see bungie cords to hold down trunks
I see sirens and I see lights
The cops arrive to stop the fights.

 

I see the sickness in our kind
I see Natures beauty so divine
I see a hope that lays in me
I see a future in Earths destiny.

©J.Edenshaw
04/2008

Author's Note

critique is appreciated

Reviews

[Astrid Hamilton]

What I like most about this poem is after the humanity shown through your eyes which see these things, the same things each one sees each day,
the promise that it holds true is that you see your own hope,
and that is important. Without it,
you would continue to see these things and be a part of the evolving of its ecology rather than looking at it as a paceful entity set free.

Great job!

[Tony]

This is an excellent poem. The author has drawn a vivid picture of our beautiful planet and the diseased creatures who live in it.
Also I Really like the way your poems are statuesque and nice to look at as you read. like a hallmark card, but there, hidden in the proud pines, and beneath the grass in the meadow, and aside from the obvious disgust at horrors such as domestic violence, lie the homeless, and the real life glimpses. Such as....I see bungie cords too hold down trunks......

[Constance]

I love this so much!!!
You managed to incorporate so many of earth's problems into this single piece. And you did it without sounding preachy or trite.
I've started a group for writers and poets who care on Myspace. Your work is the kind I'd like to see shared within that group. The page for the group has a link under my name, if you have a myspace page. We'd love to have you. We just started a few days ago.