Keep Living, Jack

A letter from a dying woman to her former lover. Based loosely on things that happened in my own life.

To my dearest Jack.

I know you told me not to write, but you said those words in anger. I wanted to send one sooner, but things became complicated. I miss your smile, your eyes, the touch of your lips, having your arms around me. But most of all, I miss the sound of your voice. I wish I could hear it once more; it would be like serenity for my ears. I miss how we would just lay with each other in silence, knowing that neither of us had to speak to express our emotions. I loved how you knew what to say and do to make me smile, you always knew.

Remember when you left that trail of roses going from the front door to the bathtub? You were waiting for me in there, acting as if you were asleep, and when I came to look, you pulled me in. I laughed until tears came, and I kissed you until you knew how much it meant to me. That will always be my greatest moment of us.

I regret that our relationship took the road to ruin. Though it’s only been a few years, it seems like it was ages ago. It’s like time stopped caring after we fell apart, it slowed to crawl of woe. I sometimes wonder if things would have been different if…we had a baby. We tried but, it was a thought that became a dream.

But, the point of this letter is this:
I want you to know that…I will not see my thirty first birthday. I have had a tumor on my brain stem since I was a child. It was suddenly triggered when I fell a few weeks ago. The back of my head hit my front steps, and that caused it to bleed. If they remove it, I have a high chance of having virtually my entire body be paralyzed. It could also….end my life. If it stays in, I will slowly fade away with growing pain each day. It may be selfish, but I want to go in peace before it reaches that point. I know that once you read this, you will try and be by my side. I fear it will be too late.

I love you, more than I ever had the chance to express. You are the most thoughtful, caring man I ever had the pleasure of knowing. You were my sun on my darkest days; you were the hand that lifted me to my feet when I gave up. I only wish I could have touched your face once more….

I want you to continue with your life and don’t let my passing eat away at your soul. I know it will be hard, but I will always be somewhere near, somewhere that will never die: In memories. I want you to make me a promise:

Keep on living, Jack.

Sincerely,
Your guardian angel.

Author's Note

His reply to her entitled "To Reach Tomorrow" is also posted, if you wish to read it.

Reviews

[Valentine]

Sad to love and lose. Also sad to try and pen words that you think she might have written to you. I have a few letters but when he was away he called every night. Thank God for cell phones. Valentine

[cookies213]

This is amazing. You captured so much emotion in one letter. I want to know more almost. This is very heartfelt and beautifully written.

[Jack Necron (Aubrey Jack Peaslee)]

I had written his reply to her awhile after penning this one, I should upload it. I tend to write about love, loss and horror above all else. Thank you for the kind words and I'm glad you liked it.