Zen Teachers on Craigslist

Very similar to chapter 1

     Oi, so now we are in first period, drafting. It's filled with mainly stupid people, but they're tolerable.  I'd started the year joking around with Zack and Joey, two freshmen, but they just failed to peak my interest. No one has. Only Lidia came close, and it's probably why I consider her my best friend.

 

     The first few months, I'd just kind of glance at her every now and then, mainly because I had a major crush on her. Lidia, if you're reading this, sorry, you're attractive and not boring. Way to go! But I found out she was taken and I gave up, but she wasn't an idiot damnit! I refused to lose a good friend like that. Worldly and insanely smart, she is the only person I respect.

 

     When we started to hang out and talk, I revered her, put her on this solid gold pedestal. Over time though, I spotted more and more human qualities in her, more mistakes she'd make. She was a warts-n-all human, because she didn't cover s**t up, and if she does, then it's obviously not my right to know. It's the reason why I wanted her to be my unofficial Zen Teacher. She's honest. I enjoy that.

 

    Our conversations generally go like this.

 

    "Have you heard of Eizenfunk?" She'd ask me. I would just stare and attempt conveying my ignorance through expression alone.

     "Otep?"

     I continued making a universal "WWHHAATTTT?!" face.

     "Black Cabaret?!"

     "Nope."

 

      I'm just proud she hasn't slumped over in defeat when we talk.

 

     From drafting, I move to Biology. Ah, Biology. We learn the miracles of life, genetic theory, and other bullshit that won't help me in any way. Well, excluding the "Miracles of life" bit.

 

     The class is filled with freshmen who rarely work or try to cheat off of mine, all while wondering why their grades are s**t...hm...

 

     Let's just skip to geometry, shall we? It's quite literally the black hole of my day. The teacher talks and talks and talks and talks a little more, that my mind simply registers it as background noise and shuts it out. Not my fault his voice is drone-like! Teach me a theorem that can fix my car, then I will give you my full attention.

 

     It's kinda nice though, because it's almost like the outside world, but much, much smaller.

 

     We have Megan, the valedictorian. Hot, sporty, and great in class, but she'd stand in the street and wonder why a car just hit her goin' 45 miles per hour. You know the type.

 

     Jared, a big, call of duty playin', football lovin', joker boy. Steal some of this thunder though, and he'll say s**t just to make you look bad. Almost like an allegory for America, if you ask me.

 

     Maci-Lynn. She's smart, cute, and can be fun to be around, but she tends to take a "holyier-than-thou" route with life. Annoys the s**t out of me and makes her very unattractive. Though, I doubt she's trying to attract my "type." oi?

 

     Then we have my friends Chris and Tyler. Chris is a f*****g genius! It's rumored that a group of friends and he hacked Xbox until they agreed to allow mods in Xbox live. Tyler used to row crew with me until I quit, for reasons I won't mention. Tall, handsome, and funny as hell, we've survived many classes by "mind-f*****g" each other and then laughing as people react to what we're doing.

 

 

     The rest are just typical people. The “smile-and-nod” group as I like to call them. They try to make jokes, half a*s most work, and love to them is, as Johnny Rotten says, “two minutes and 52 seconds of squelching noises.” I’m not much smarter…I pity them still.

 

      Maybe I could make sense of this if I found a Zen teacher…It's highly discouraged to practice alone, but it’s not like you can find a teacher on craigslist, oi?