The Mindless Wonderings Of My Mind

It's kind of a rant. If you haven't noticed yet, it's what I'm good at.

Now it's usually around this time that I get called into the office for whatever reason. I've gotten yelled at for wearing a hat in school. A useless rule to have, if you ask me.

 

"It's ok to have your individuality, but yada-yada-f*****g-yada."

I'm paraphrasing, of course, but i'm tired of people telling me this. Whether it is a teacher, a possible employer, or just an disgruntled adult on the streets, I'm f*****g annoyied at hearing this everywhere. So i'm going to try my best to clear the situation up.

Sure, I get it, I'm not "normal" but come on! So what if I have a mohawk? so what if I prefer zombies to football? So what if my music choice isn't Katy Perry, Kesha bullshit? I'm not some different spieces or short-fused bomb with all red wires you gotta handle with care, I just like different things. I like zombies, you like football. I beat off everyday, you're "celibate."

We don't do these things for individuality, we just enjoy different things.

One day, in Drafting class, I was talking to my friend Lidia after reading a book called "Sex, Sin, and Zen." And it got me thinking...

"I want a gay zen teacher." I stated randomly.

"Why?" she replied, not too interested.

"They go through so much, they get so much s**t. A gay zen teacher has gotta have some hardcore balance."

"They aren't a different spieces, they go through the same bullshit a straight person goes through." and the conversation ended there.

I think this fits nicely because, no matter what, we are all the same. I enjoy different things from everyone else, just like everyone else.

Next up, lets talk about acceptance.

Acceptance is a huge thing for me. I was raised Christian, so we constantly preach acceptance (after we kill the non-believers over there.) Now, I'm a Buddhist. I've learned to accept all of the horrible things about me and love them. I've learned to accept that the world sucks and the "truth" sucks more than a w***e in heat.

Alas, I still have problems with acceptance, as does the rest of you bloody morons. People piss us off and we say "F**k your common sense and logic, I won't accept it!"

Then we roll down a huge hill after falling face-first off of a skateboard you realize, oh s**t, I should have accepted this was a horrible idea!

The reason people have trouble with acceptance is because it means letting go of what you perceive as power. If we accept that we can't change this, then we have no hope of ever controlling and changing this. Deep down, we know we can only change and control ourselves.*

An extreme case of refusal to give up power through acceptance is a husband putting a gun to his wife's head. He just can't accept that she over-cooked the roast(and fucked the neighbor man hardcore.) So he's using the power of a gun to attempt to control the situation. To "fix" it in what his mind thinks is correct. But that won't fix of change it. She fucked the dude(and ruined dinner!). Blowing her brains out won't fix what was done, only change the situation. You'll go from having a cheating wife, to a cheating dead wife. Everything is what it is. No need to over think it, just accept it.

Now that's not to say, accept it, then stow it away in some box in your head that reads "accepted s**t". It means to say "This wall is red. Yup, totally red. But with paint I can make it blue. But it's still red."** It's one of the 3 problems we face with acceptance. We either won't accept it, accept it and cling to it, or accept it and forget it. There isn't a true problem with that, but remember that life sucks without balance.***

"but,"
"accept it."
"what if,"
"accept it"
"maybe..."
"accept it"

Problem solved. The issue is having the guts to give up control by acceptance and not truly accepting the right thing.

Change. We all go through it. We all hate it, we all love it. Suck it up and shut up about it. I don't care that you broke up with your boyfriend. I don't care that you moved away from all of your friends, it happens!

Now change goes hand and hand with acceptance. If you can't accept change, change can never truly occur. Change is human nature. But so is homeostasis. Hence, change is a b***h to accept, because you're dealing with your body saying "oh s**t, what instinct should i listen to?!" Part of being human is telling instincts to f**k off.

Humans want change, but they get bored quickly. I believe i've formulated a good way to explain the human concept of boredom; through masturbation!

Say little Johnny Joe is beating off. He's enjoying playing with his willy and his willy is enjoying it just as much. Soon, he feels pressure build up. He gets bored stroking himself, so he just releases. With a little more focus on what "bores" him, he could have continued enjoying himself.

Now your probably asking
"That has nothing to do with change, where ya goin' with this?"
"I DON'T REALLY KNOW!" I'd reply with a smile.

Now I need you to grasp this next concept. Hate is the breeding ground for change. When we hate something, we naturally change so we don't hate, but hate plays a role in that change nonetheless. Hate keeps that change constant. We hate boredom. We constantly change, focus on something new, crave a new high, just to fight boredom, and when life isn't at its best, we b***h. Losing focus only builds a flimsy wall around your boredom, and when it falls, everyone is so shocked that life can suck this much. Accept the constant boredom for what it is, and eventually, boredom gets boring. Change can occur, but it won't be change per say. Boredom can occur, but it won't be boredom, per say.

Dogen once said "Fire is fire, wood is wood, ash is ash. Fire changes wood into ash."

He's essentially saying "it is what it is, but what it is changes. once it's changed, it can't go back. It's something new. It's changed."

Author's Note

A friend of mine told me that I was trying to display a person above the mundane, and he brings up a good point. I'm not above the mundane, but you won't find me in it happily. I'm not smarter than you, but I do use my head for more than a hat rack, oi?

Reviews

[RM Americano]

This is good. It's fast, it's funny, and although you are still hurt by typos and some bad grammar, they don't make that big a deal because the content is there.

The voice here is better than the previous chapter. It is more authoritative. Don't think of authoritative as the root of authority. Think of it as the root of AUTHOR. Bam...#bi-winning.

You still have room to grow (we all do) but you are moving in the right direction. Even though you have changed up the format of material you've stayed true to your subject matter, the thoughts of a Buddhist punk. What I'd really like to see from you in this piece is two things, a variety of direction and some conflict. Although your narrator has a lot of negative things to say in his rants, he is lacking a direct conflict. If this is meant to be a serious novel his anger will have to focus on something in particular. I would also be interested in seeing other dimensions of this narrator. He's quick witted and ornery but why? A lot of people claim to be punks or to live alternative lifestyles, that's a fact of nature. What makes it interesting to read about is their reasons.

Good writing is fueled by emotion, but better writing is planned to reveal it.