The Roadside Figure

The sign: Neon Red.  

Flashing angrily 

in front of the 

diner where it sits

facing an empty black road.  

It´s glow 

reflecting off 

the wet coal 

colored asphalt 

for a few moments, 

it's red wane pooling 

like blood 

in the middle of the street.  

Every flash casts 

crimson shadows that dance 

eerily across the parking lot. 

The bright neon 

bathing everyone

and everything 

a bloody vermillion, 

transposing all underneath 

it´s glare 

temporarily to Hell 

like an evil heat lamp. 

For five second intervals 

the diner and it's occupants 

appear otherworldly and Macabre. 

Animated corpses 

practicing mannerly eating habits, 

the diner itself 

a great greyish tomb. 

To the stranger 

hunkered down 

behind the line of azalea 

bushes 

on the far side of the road 

none of these characteristics 

even mattered.  

His head was 

one big bruise 

and his lip was 

split in two 

different places, 

appearing as though 

he had been kissing 

barbedwire fences 

naked.  

He took a good long look down 

to his oily gun,  

with the one good eye 

he could still manage 

to trust,

and decided 

his first 

appearance 

at the Midnight Cafe 

was going to be a 

gruesome one.

Reviews

[Carol Cashes]

Day-um! You painted that innocent neon light with "gruesome" accuracy. Brilliant. And now, I must go on to the next chapter to find out what "ugly-guy-in-bushes-with-gun does. Who says you can't tell a story? This compels the reader to go on with perfectly set bait...

[Marie]

Well, no; I don't think you need a sequel. You've already told your story. From the description, it seems as if all the characters are already bloody ghosts...their future past...

Never use an apostrophe with "its" unless you are making a contraction out of "it is."

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

thanks for your ever so bland review of my small piece of writing, and thank you for taking the time to read and rebuke someone elses comment and then use that to snidely make your point. the characters APPEARED to the killer as what you call bloody ghosts, if you had located your bifocals before reading it you probably would've seen that. thanks for the lesson in punctuation and good luck with whatever it is you do when not trolling for kicks.

[JulianaSun]

OMG ( I don´t usually use this acronyme/interjection because I think it´s lame and I hate it, but the ocassion demands it). This is bloody awesome! Your descriptive skills are impressive. Artistic even :) please, write a sequel. I mean, really, it would be so unfair to your readers ( which are twenty so far, twenty one if you include me) to end the story here. Come on Hitchcock :)))

J