You

You knock the taste from my mouth.

You take the joy from living.

You betray what's nice and destroy it all 

with your despair.

You have cleaved my heart in two.

You brood often enough, under layers of ire, 

caked in cigarette smoke.

You crush my hopes between nimble fingers.

You cut my dreams into multicolored ribbons.

You scatter me like ashes.

You haven´t said a word to me in two years.

You´re in my head turning what little I said

into death threats and homicidal intentions.

Why can´t you just once try to say,¨I´m sorry, 

and I love you!¨, instead of setting fire to the room 

where our family once stood.

Reviews

[PANDORA]

You knock the taste
from my mouth

My god that is a great line and to open with it is brilliant. It follows with a great flow until the ending. You use such great descriptive words through out the entire piece but I did not find that in the last 10 lines. I say this humbly but I know you could clean it up and make this damn near perfect!

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

im a rake through it and see what turnips...get it?

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

ok adjustments in the ending hope some imrovement was made

[PANDORA]

I like it much better and as to your play on rake and turnips...clever

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

swell, wait, what? swell? thhhpt...uh thank you is what i meant. can you read this other one called word war won i made adjustments and if they suck id like an extra set of eyes on it. thanks again you know. i appreciate it!

[FaeryQueen]

this is beautiful! an excellent piece, if i do say so myself!!

[Cat]

This is fantastic. I love reading intimate thoughts that are so vulnerable, yet so demanding of recognition. Great.

[ReasoningwithWords]

Great piece Josh. I can picture everything going on within this writing!! Keep it up.

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

thanks tin man! if you liked it im thrilled, if there is something i need to fix, even better. thanks for reading me. I´ll be sure to peek at what you´re doing over there as well if you dont mind amigo