A Dying Day

Wafting sickness of a dying day,
Flowed across the mountain bay.
Gliding past all meadows green,
Left behind a tinge of sheen.

Bidding farewell to the king of light,
Moved ahead in gentle flight.
Casting darkness above the plain,
Remained unknown to shadows again.

Reviews

[J.A]

When I read the title I was expecting a morose tone. But I really like how you gave a little bit of hope especially the line "remain unknowned". Humans fear death but that's only because we don't understand it. We fear the unknown and your poem reminds us that it doesn't have to always be negative.

[Jyoti Konwar]

Thanks. Yes, there's always hope on the other side.

[Kaushik Banerjee]

i've always been a fan of rhyming words and im really impressed by the strong lyrics and the thought above it....simply short and strong. I enjoyed reading it

[Jyoti Konwar]

Thanks. Hoping to write more such lyrics. 😊

[Devanshu Rajput]

A perfect blend of two aspects. A lovely poem. I am always impressed by good rhyme. But this rhyme scheme is excellent.

Thanks for sharing the poetry. Enjoyed it.

[Jyoti Konwar]

Thank you for the appreciation.

[Devanshu Rajput]

You are most welcome. I look forward to read more poems from you.

[Jyoti Konwar]

Definitely 😊

[Jibey]

A pleasing evocation of the passing of the day into night... Some attention to the rhythm would be good - the third line could do with an extra syllable. Rhyme can constrict unless it seems natural... but you manage it well.

[Jyoti Konwar]

I will definitely take note of that. Thank you😊

[Solar]

Although the poem is titled Dying Day and the first stanza has 'wafting sickness' which conjures up feelings of decay, there is an afterlife in the second stanza, which gives the poem another spirit.

I like how you blended the two aspects.

[Jyoti Konwar]

Thank you so much. A good way to start with. 😊