The Boy in Her Head

A Poem by JTCM

A poem about me, about the struggles of being transgender, when no one will accept it.

He wants to be Her,

She wants to be Him.

They want to be one,

Without the conflict within.

She likes to shoot guns,

He likes to bake cakes.

They both try so hard,

To not make mistakes.

Girls think She’s gay,

Because of Her hair.

Guys won’t talk to Him,

Because they’re afraid of His stare.

She knows She is Her,

And He knows He is Him.

But He doesn’t exist to the world.

Only She knows.

Only He can understand that this time,

She doesn't want to wear a dress to homecoming,

It just feels wrong.

Doesn't want to paint Her face,

Because Her whole body is painted on.

Only He understands Her.

Understands that She can’t go to the girl’s restroom,

That She doesn’t belong there.

She cannot take it.

She needs to get out of this body,

Before she rips it all off.

He wants to help Her,

But He’s buried inside,

Unable to get out,

Unable to get down.

She needs Him to live,

He needs Her to exist.

They both need each other,

But they can’t take it like this.

They can’t take it.

They don’t need this,

Don’t need it from you.

You who all think it’s not real or not true

It’s truer than life,

And more real than the air you breathe.

You can’t understand,

That She doesn’t need that,

And that He doesn’t want it.

There are people who thinks it’s wrong, vile, unnatural.

But it’s only unnatural to keep two people in one body.

To let one person live,

And to keep the other hidden.

She wants to be Her,

But She can’t.

He wants to help,

But He can’t.

How could He help Her,

When He is pushed down on sight?

Unsupported,

Unwanted,

Not cared for.

Please, He says,

Let me help Her.

Please, She says,

Let Him help me.

But at the end of the day,

When She goes to bed,

She says goodnight,

To the boy in Her head.

© 2014 JTCM

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Featured Review

Mia Deuser

This is just really lovely, I am new here and not sure what sort of reviews are supposed to be given, technically speaking? If critiques are prefered or just comments on it. But, nevertheless, with this I was just gripped by a sudden rush of empathy and had to speak. I comprehend that, not being transgendered, I can never fully understand what truly happens, in the body, the mind, and the soul, but reading the poem I felt somewhat enlightened and entranced, curious, even The way it is written it's quite interesting to me, the imagery is alluring and sweet, but it has a sharpness to it at the same time, and the last four verses are just breath taking! All in all this read has swollen my heart, in a quite non harmful way. Thank you so very much for sharing. ♥

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.

10 Years Ago

Thank you.

^^

Reviews

Jerome F Knox III pseud..

The job of poetry is to engage the reader and change them, make them different before, during and after; you have succeeded in that goal. There is eerie cloud of darkness that rains down, a truth, a battle cry for someone to be loved and accepted not ridiculed, shamed and discarded. Don't I have the right to be free and just to simply "be". Although I am an adult I am still a child dealing with a myriad of issues that is dealt with via poetry. It is one of the few things that accepts me on my own terms and simply let's me "be". Thanks for the poem and for letting me know their are brothers in pain and sisters in sadness and that we all have masks and veils.