Unbelievable

My written words speak stridently

though my voice shriveled and mute.

 

My knowledge is vastly inconsequential

as is my faith in this worlds folly.

 

Desperately divided amid egotistic

exposure and approaching catastrophe.

 

Bereavement of those who believe

this existence is perpetual.

 

One word five syllables comes to mind

           Unbelievable

 

 

  

 

 

Reviews

[Crowley]

This is truly a thinking mans write. I could take in many directions, some of them at the same time. For a short piece it speaks volumes. The seond stanza makes reference to the writers state of mind when it comes to matters of this world and the belief that "really, what am I supposed to believe" may be the course of the day. Great job.

[SensuelDeMot]

hmm some interesting thoughts here...the strident outer voice with the inner voice going unheard, the knowledge that adds up to nothing in this crazy world of ours to the negative outlook upon the future and the worlds inhabitants...a lot to think about...I will have to ponder as to whether its unbelievable... :)
A great write with a great thought process that stimulates more questions than answers. :) xo

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

A very honest write here. The stance and position within the world at large. Reality sinking it's teeth firmly into the heart.

[Norma M Sutton]

Well SAID!

[Cassiopia Summers]

It makes you sit and ponder what the 'big' picture really is. And why it has come to it. Wonderful write, very deep, short, but deep.

[Ru Banerjee]

Very intense and philosophical in nature, your musings have a subdued irony while you write about how your 'written words speak stridently', and how your 'voice is shriveled and mute'. So very profound an observation of life and its follies from which these lines stem:
"Desperately divided amid egotistic
exposure and approaching catastrophe.
Bereavement of those who believe
this existence is perpetual."
Highly poignant within such short space and compels us readers to look into the 'unbelievable' existences and catastrophes of life.

[emmajoy]

There's little to commemorate in 'this world's folly', unless it some men's determination to do something and they're generally criticised for it. Most of us accept negatives too willingly, maybe you see that, wonder why, feel lost .. 'My written words speak stridently ~ though my voice shriveled and mute.' Whatever, this is a profound piece of writing and from your other's reviewers comments, you've flamed some thinking.

Personally I prefer the word 'believable' but I couldn't write about it as passionately as you about the opposite.

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a sad but strong poem not only in its word and flow but in its meaning. You have composed another great poem that stops and makes you think about the "big picture" that is going on around us.

[.]

there is sadness but depth in those words..you are on fire recently!

[Sophia Argyris]

'this existence is perpetual.' - I feel that line sums up so much. This has a world weary feel to it, a very reflective feel. I'm glad to have read it.

Sophia