Emmaline (a modern, epic poem)

A story about a special girl, with a great destiny.

April brought the showers but,

may forgot the flowers,

while flames rose to tower

over twisted towers.

"Have you now said,

all of your goodbyes"

"Yes, mother."

"Then lay down your head

and close both your eyes.

You should be in bed,

when the world dies."

Beyond the window,

the screams and the ash,

the sun burned red

with anger and mass.

The air filled the smoke

and the smoke filled the air.

They both started to choke,

but flames could not care.

"I can not see, mother!

I can not think! Nor can I breathe!"

"You are safe in this room!

Just pray for the light!"

"Where is my father,

and why did he leave?"

"You may see him soon

sooner than I'd like."

Now, grabbing Teddy Brown,

her favorite stuffed bear.

She looked all around

- finally aware,

this was the end

to all she had known.

She had never lived and

she had never grown.

But flames could not care,

more then, than ever,

For she was aware,

A soul lives forever.

"With a halo high above you,

even upon this dark day.

Daughter, I do so love you,

more than I can say.

But, I will have to go now,

and you will have to stay.

For, there is a price,

that evil must pay."

The ceiling came upon her

collapsing on her words

mother clutching daughter,

protecting what is hers.

And the planes soared by

with men cheering within

as her mothers last cry

was buried in their sin.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Kaye]

It's sad to lose everything so fast. nicely written and feelings well expressed

[Patricia Stephmore]

To lose everything in a blink of the eye......to not know what you did wrong and yet suffer the punishment....I think that's how the girl felt in the story...
Beautiful poem and such a smooth writing style... Reaches in the depths of the heart

[J.R.H.]

Thank you for the lovely response Patricia!

[...]

A poem that tells a story...This was vivid in imagery and told a story of apocalyptic gloom. Very creative. I enjoyed reading your poetry :)

[??????]

Omgosh!!! I must say this is my second reading of you and I really enjoy the tone of your writing. It's enriched has a moral speaking. You hold the story quite awesome! It doesn't get any better than awesome in my book.

[J.R.H.]

Thanks for taking the time to read another one unknown!! Much appreciated ;)

[??????]

Hey couldn't stop still one left to go:) Your very welcome.

[Lucas C. M.]

I am agast by this. I honestly kept thinking about the mongols under Gengis Khan. I really enjoyed it and was so shocked in the end. I look forward to reading the rest.

[Myenigma]

i like the theme and your imagery, i assume the girl is alive. you should keep writing.

[J.R.H.]

Thanks for the accurate assumption. And this story is far from done.

Thanks again! I appreciate your review!

[C.R. Miller]

Very well done. Fills you with dread, forces you to sympathize, and then hate the sinners at the end. I feel like the rhyme scheme suits the perception of the child and quickens the pace of the reading to match the rapidity with which a bomb would fall.

[J.R.H.]

Thanks for reading c.r. Im glad you appreciate the work put into this!

[Einstein Noodle]

pictures of the end times are impressed on my brain ... the contrasting scene of mother and daughter amplifies the horror of bombs and doom outside .. i have been told that beginning lines of poetry with "the" can weaken a poem .. the first break into quoted conversation works well for me .. the second seems a little too long to be as effective ... some of your rhymes are stretches and in the fourth to last verse the use of "you" and "you" ..could be stronger .. please!! this is only an opinion and not intended to be anything negative .. these are some things i have learned from others here at the cafe ..(i am not a formally educated writer ;}
over all i think your poem works well .. you have told a story and created scenes i participate in and empathize with... so good job
E.

[J.R.H.]

You are never allowed to comment on my poetry again... : ) just kidding. I enjoy a helpful hand. However, I can not change anything here. Sorry. I understand your suggestions but, my perceptions of them differ.

I am glad you enjoyed what you did and I respect your comments!

[Einstein Noodle]

you scared me there for a moment :) and i meant the comments to tuck away if you choose .. they are simple things that have helped me when editing .. love and peace
E.

[Tina Kline]

Impressive job. This could be in any war zone, past - present - future.