N/A

                My name is Madeline McNally. But everyone calls me Maddie. I’m 5’7 with light brown hair and brown eyes. I’m a cop for the New York police Department. I have been a cop for 6 years. I joined when I got out of collage. I’m 28 years old. My parents were killed in a car crash when I was 6. I was placed in foster care. I was passed around from home to home. Every time I would be put in a new home something bad would happen. Like a fire or they would get robbed and they couldn’t take care of me and off I was to a new home. When I turned 11 I realized that I was alone and I could only depend on myself. On a boring Monday morning my life was turned upside down and it all started when my captain sent my partner and I to a car crash…

       “Maddie, Cole go to the scene of a car crash” Captain said walking to his office.

We got up and grabbed our jackets and left. We were driving and I was playing with the radio.

“Stop that” Cole said.

I turned it off and sighed. I closed me eyes. I was about to fall asleep when I heard Cole gasp. I opened my eyes and I gasped when I saw the car. It was completely smashed.

        “Cole look at that” I said.

“I know it must have flipped over a few times to look like that,” Cole said.

        We parked next to other police cars. We got out and walked over to the other policemen. We showed them our badges.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Well a mother and her child were driving home from the store and the moving truck was coming from the ramp way to fast didn’t see them and hit them, both the mother and truck driver were killed instantly.” One cop said.

What happened to the kid? I asked not really wanting to know the answer if the child was really hurt.

She’s fine not a scratch on her the cop said.

I asked how is that possible?

Well the little girl’s car seat was way to big and it stopped the ceiling from crushing her.

Where is she I asked?

The cop pointed and said she will not speak to anyone. I looked over and there standing by the ambulance was a little girl. I walked over with Cole and the little girl was looking down I knelt down Hi sweetie I said.

The little girl looked up at me and she had the biggest blue eyes that I had ever seen. Her face was all red from her crying. The next thing I know she was hugging me and crying. I wrapped my arms around her a picked her up. She was crying on my shoulder. The ambulance guy motioned to me that I needed to get her in the ambulance.

Honey you need to go with this nice man and go to the hospital to make sure that your ok I said.

Don’t leave me she whispered.

I looked over at Cole and he said I can take care of things here make sure she is ok.

Ok I said I walked over and climbed into the ambulance still holding the little girl. I tried to put her down but she held on to me tight and she wouldn’t let go. She was shaking and I realized that she wasn’t wearing a jacket.

Do you have a blanket I asked the ambulance guy?

He handed me a blanket and I wrapped the little girl in it. She snuggled closer to me.

What’s your name I asked the little girl?

Leslie Brooks she said. She yawned and closed her eyes. She fell asleep and when we got to the hospital. I shook her and said Leslie wake up. She opened her eyes and looked around.

We got out and walked in and a nurse came up and said is this the girl from the car accident.

Yes I said.

Leslie started crying again and I held her close trying to calm her back down. Its ok sweetie I kept saying.

Follow me the nurse said. She walked into a room and said set the child here please. I tried to put Leslie down and she held on to me, no she cried.

Leslie sweetie I’m not going to leave but you need to let the nurse check you out.

Leslie just nodded her head.

I set her on the bed. The nurse checked her out. How old are you? She asked Leslie. Leslie looked over at me and I nodded in encouragement and she held up 6 fingers.

Does anything hurt the nurse asked?

Leslie shook her head yes.

Where honey the nurse asked and Leslie moved her hair and I could see a little cut on her neck. The nurse looked at it and said that not bad at all she reached into her pocket and pulled out a couple of bandages.

I have Barbie, Winnie the pooh, and Batman. Which one do you want she asked Leslie?

I want Barbie please Leslie said.

The nurse placed it on the cut after cleaning it. Once she was done the nurse said she is free to go. I got up and walked over to the bed and Leslie held her arms up and I picked her up. I carried her out of the hospital and there was a cop car waiting for us. I smiled and made a metal note to thank Cole.

When we got to the police station Leslie was asleep and I put her at my desk. I went to go find Cole. I found him by the file cabinets. I walked over and leaned against the cabinet and sighed.

“How’s the little girl doing” Cole asked? “She’s fine, she is sleeping,” I said.

I felt someone hug my leg and I looked down and Leslie was there. I picked her up “Leslie this is my friend Cole” I said.

“Hi” Cole said.

“Hi” Leslie said, “I’m hungry” “Ok” I said. I brought her over to the vending machine. I bought her a snack and went back to Cole. “When is my mommy coming to get me I am tired and I want to go home,” she asked?

I looked up at Cole and mouthed help.

“Leslie do you know where heaven is?” He asked

Yes it is in the sky Leslie said.

Your mommy went to heaven Cole said.

No that means I will never get to see her like daddy. Leslie said crying onto my shoulder.

Leslie your daddy went to heaven? I asked.

Yes Leslie said.

Do you have Grandparents? I asked. She shook her head and then the captain called me. I set Leslie down and I said I need to talk to my boss Cole is going to watch you while I’m gone ok. She looked over to Cole and said ok. She walked over to him and lifted her arms and he picked her up and they walked over to our desks.

I walked into the captain’s office and the captain said I need a big favor from you.

Anything I said.

I need you to take care of the girl for a few days. He said.

Anything but that, I’m not the motherly type I said.

The little girl likes you and the child services can’t come for a few days please Maddie. He said walking over to me and taking my hand.

Fine but can Cole help me? I asked.

Sure if you need him he said. He let go of my hand and I walked out of the office and I was rubbing my eyes when Leslie ran up to me and handed me a picture she drew. It was of herself, Cole and I. Thank you I said. I taped it up and I saw Cole drawing and said nice horse Cole. He picked it up and said it’s supposed to be a dog. I laughed and said sorry.

The rest of the day was fun we played cards and different games. When Leslie fell asleep in my lap I was sitting in my chair.

Cole came around to my desk and leaned on it what did the captain want he asked?

I sighed and said I’m going to take care of Leslie for a few days and you’re going to help me.

I’m going to what? He asked.

You’re going to help me because you would never say no to me. I said smiling. Giving him my Miss USA smile.

“You want to bet,” Cole said “No”.

“Please” Cole I said putting on my puppy face please.

He looked at me “fine” he said.

“Thanks” I said.

He looked at me and chuckled.

“What” I asked.

Nothing it’s just mommy Maddie He said. I playfully hit him and said shut up. Leslie started waking up and I said baby how would you like to live with me for a few days.

Leslie shook her head yes.

Ok well lets go shopping I said. I turned to Cole and said come on. He sighed and we all went shopping. We bought a car seat, some cloths like pajamas and some kid food like Mac and cheese and peanut butter and jelly. Cole bought her a little purple bear.

When we got to my apartment. I grabbed the stuff and Cole grabbed Leslie. I handed him the keys and he unlocked the door with skills like he had not had a kid in his arms or like he had done it before. We walked in and Cole put Leslie down on the couch and put a blanket over her. Then he helped me put the stuff away.

When he was helping me put the cloths in the spare bedroom he suddenly pushed me against the wall and I said Cole what are you doing.

 Why do you always think that I will do whatever you ask he asked?

Because you never say no I said pushing him and he moved and I walked out of the room and said thank you very much.

Your welcome he said smiling at me.

I have a question I said.

What he said.

How did you open the door like you did like you have done it before with a kid? I asked looking down.

Well when I was younger I got my girlfriend pregnant and I have a daughter Cole said.

My head shot up and I said oh.

He looked at me “I’m just kidding I have a niece about Leslie’s age” he said.

“Jerk” I said laughing, “You can go home now.”

Ok he said if you need anything just call he kissed me on the cheek and left. I put a hand over the spot where he kissed me. I walked over to Leslie and said Leslie come on sweetie. I picked her up and she woke up and I changed her and helped her brush her teeth and put her in bed. I tucked her in and said if you get scared just come in and wake me up ok. I kissed her head and went to my room. I changed and fell into bed and fell asleep.

I woke up to Leslie screaming mommy. I jumped out of bed and ran into the room she was having a nightmare and I ran to her side and shook her and said wake up baby come on she opened her eyes and when she saw me she jumped into my arms and cried and I said its ok.

She was crying and she said can I sleep with you tonight.

I said sure and walked into my room. I set her down and turned on the TV and Elmo was on so she watched that.

I walked out to the phone and called Cole.

Hello a sleepy voice answered.

Cole I said

Suddenly his voice was awake and alert “What’s wrong is Leslie ok” he asked?

No she had a nightmare and she is in my bed and I’m not a good comforting person please can you come over. I begged.

I’ll be there in 10 minutes Cole said and I heard him moving around.

I looked at the clock and it was 2:50 in the morning. I sighed and went back into my room she was watching the TV.

When she saw me she asked where did you go?

Cole was on the phone and he is coming over because he had a bad dream to.

Really Leslie said.

Yah really I said. 10 minutes later there was a knock on the door and I went to get it.

Who is it I asked?

It the drug dealer from down the hall and I was wondering if I could barrow a cup of sugar who do you think it is Cole said.

I opened the door and let him in. I pushed him to my bedroom and on the way I said by the way I told her your here because you had a bad dream to.

The way to get a kid to trust you is not to lie to them Cole said.

Fine whatever now go comfort her I said. We went into the room and Leslie was watching the TV again.

Hi Cole Leslie said she had tears in her eyes again. We went over and climbed on the bed. Cole on one side and me on the other.

I miss mommy she said. She started crying I know Cole said. He wiped away her tears and “I heard you had a bad dream,”

Yes you had one to Leslie said after she stopped crying.

Yes do you want to tell me about it? Cole asked.

No Leslie said.

I’m going to get a glass of water I said. I walked out of the room and into the kitchen and started crying. Why couldn’t I be like that? I wiped my face and walked back before I went back in I heard Leslie ask Cole if I was his girlfriend?

Why would you think Maddie was my girlfriend Cole asked?

Because you look at each other like mommy and daddy looked at each other Leslie said.

Well no she is not my girlfriend Cole said.

I think she likes you Leslie said. My heart skipped a beat.

How Cole asked.

Well she is always smiling when you are around and she stares at you Leslie said.

I turned and went into the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water the truth was that I was in love with Cole. I have been for a while. I calmed myself down and went back to my room.

I walked in and Cole and Leslie were sound asleep Leslie was snuggled up to Cole and Cole had his arm around her. I sighed and it looked like they fit. I wish I could fit in his life.

I sat down on the comfy chair and fell asleep. When I woke up the sun was shining in my face and I realized that I was lying in my bed but Cole and Leslie were not there.

Cole, Leslie I called.

Follow the smell of coffee Cole called.

I got up and looked at the clock. It was 7:30. I was late for work. I got up and went to the kitchen and Cole and Leslie were still in there pajamas and I went in and said Good morning.

They looked up and smiled and said good morning. I got a cup of coffee and sat next to Cole. I reached over him and grabbed the comics and started reading and I felt Cole looking at me.

I looked up and said what.

Nothing I never thought you would have pajama pants with the word wink on you butt he said.

I looked down and remembered I had to do laundry. I blushed and said I ran out of sweats and then I remembered that my tank top said Hottie, "I’m going to go change." I said.

Why you are a Hottie Cole said laughing.

I got up and went to my room and went to my closet and opened it and the only clean cloths I had we a very low cut shirt and one of Coles button up shirt. I took out his shirt and put it on. It was too big but it was better then the other shirt. I remembered how I got the shirt.

A younger Maddie walked into the station and had a coat on and it was around 100 degrees. I just got back from collage and I started walking over to the captain’s office and a good-looking guy stopped me.

Can I help you miss? Cole asked.

No thank you I just need to talk to the captain I said.

Ok why don’t I take your coat Cole said?

No that is ok I said. Earlier this morning I was driving and spilled coffee down the front of my white T-shirt and I didn’t want dad to see me like that after not seeing each other for a month I thought.

Suddenly Cole said Follow me.

What I said.

Just please follow me Cole said getting up and walking away. I sighed and followed. He walked to a locker room.

What do you want I asked?

He opened a locker and pulled out a shirt. Here he handed me the shirt and said I don’t think that you want to talk to the captain with a big coffee stain down you shirt.

I took the shirt how did you know I asked.

Lucky guess he said with a winked before he left.

I took off my jacket and changed and remembered how good the shirt smelled. I throw away my other shirt because there was no way to get that stain out. I felt much better I went out and talked to dad and he was happy to have me back and also happy that I got a collage degree and he gave me a job and I meet my new partner and it just happened to be the same guy that helped me.  

I put on jeans and walked out and Cole and Leslie had changed to.

Where did you get the cloths I asked Cole?

From my duffel bag Cole said pointing to the couch and there was a duffel bag. I brought it with me last night. Cole said.

I didn’t see the duffel bag last night I said.

Well people can miss things when it is 3 in the morning, is that my shirt Cole asked?

Yes it is I said sitting next to him.

That’s the one I lent you one your first day, Cole said.

Yes I haven’t got around to giving it back to you I said.

My mommy used to ware my daddy’s shirts to Leslie said.

I blushed "Are you blushing?" Cole asked. I ignored the question and said we need to go to work Cole.

No I called the captain and he gave you the day off so you can do anything you want.

Hey Leslie do you want Cole to come out with us today I asked?

Yes Leslie said.

Maddie can I speak with you in the other room Cole asked?

I what to finish my coffee and reading the comics I said knowing that Cole wouldn’t be happy.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the kitchen and when we were in the living room.

Aggravated assault I said.

Why did you do that Cole asked?

Because I said I can’t do this alone and I know that you think I’m tough and that I can do anything but when that little girl had that bad dream I felt so helpless. I never had someone to make me feel better when I had a bad dream so I don’t know how to take care of a child. I sighed and was trying to stop the tears that came up whenever I remembered my past.

Maddie I have seen you with a lot of kids and they all love you Cole said. A few tears ran down my face. You are great with kids and about the bad dream all you need to do is make the kid feel safe and I can’t image anyone not feeling safe with you. Cole said pulling me into his arms.

I wiped my eyes and said thank you.

Anytime Cole said.

You are still coming I said.

Cole sighed and asked why?

Because I already asked her I said.

The day was fun we went to the park got ice cream and then feed the ducks and by the end of the day we were all tired and Leslie fell asleep on the way home. I picked her up and brought her up to the apartment and put her to bed. When I was done Cole said I’m going to head home and I will see you tomorrow at work. He left and I sat on the couch and I fell asleep.

I was awoken by Leslie shaking me and I said what’s wrong baby. She was crying and I pulled her into my arms and said its ok.

How about you sleep with me again tonight. Leslie shook her head and I walked into my room and I put her down on my bed and said I’m going to go change. I went to the bathroom and got ready for bed. When I came out Leslie had fallen asleep. I went to the other end of the bed and fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning Leslie was curled up to me. I sighed and kissed her head and said Leslie we need to wake up and go to work. Leslie snuggled closer and didn’t wake up.

Fine I said I got up and got ready for work when I was ready. I picked up a sleeping Leslie and went to my car and put her in it. I stopped by Starbucks.

When I got to the station I picked up the files I brought, my coffee, and Leslie and waked into work. Cole was already there.

When he saw me he came over and took Leslie from my arms and brought her to the cribs and when he came back downstairs.

Thanks I said.

I went to go talk to the captain. I knocked on the door and he said come in and I went in and he looked up from the paper work how are things going with the little girl he asked?

Good I said.

 Well you have to hang in there for a few more days because they called this morning and can’t come for a couple of days.

I sighed and said ok.

I turned and walked out and went up to Cole and leaned against his desk and said so she is stuck with me for a few more days.

That’s good Cole said looking up at me and then he said get to work.

I don’t feel like doing paper work right now I said.

Well then don’t bug me.

Well I’m bored entertain me I said.

That is not my job I have paper work to do so stop bugging me he said.

But I’m bored.

Cole sighed and looked up at me and said if you don’t leave me along and stop bugging me you are going into time out.

I looked at him I’m not five I said.

Then stop acting like it he said.

I throw a punch but he grabbed my arm and stood and twisted it behind my back. I got out of the hold and took another shot at him. He blocked. I was smiling at the challenge. Cole was smiling too. Cole throws a punch at me and I ducked and tried to trip him and he jumped.

The other cops were standing around us watching because I was the only girl cop that worked there but I was as tuff as any one of them. I had fought almost all of them at the gym before and won but I had never fought Cole before.

He then throw a punch and I blocked and I throw a punch at him and hit him but the one thing you learn is how to take a hit so it didn’t affect him at all. He throw another punch but I blocked I was ready for any punch but I didn’t expect him to try and trip me. I fell and tried to jump back up but Cole was already on top of me and I tried to get him off me but he pined my arms above my head. I smiled and so did Cole.

Then a voice from behind asks what is going on out here? Cole and I looked up. It was the Captain and we both said “nothing.”

We sounded like two kids that was caught doing something they were told not to do. Cole got off me and helped me up. The captain said my office now. Cole and I both looked down and walked into his office.

When we were both there the captain closed the door and walked around the desk and sat down and Cole and I both looked at each other and then back down waiting for him to yell at us.

“What were you two doing?” he asked.

I looked at Cole and he looked at me “I started it,” I admitted.

“Well Maddie I’m very disappointed in you.” The captain said

I looked back down “I have never seen anyone beat you next time you better bet him,” He said.

I looked up and smiled “you’re not mad?” I asked

“No I’m not I was watching from my window I was wondering who would win.” He said giving me a smile.

I looked over at Cole and he was smiling to. The captain let us leave and we walked back to our desks and I went up to the cribs and went to the bed Leslie was sleeping on and looked down at Leslie and she was starting to wake up.

“Hi sleeping beauty,” I said

She opened her eyes and looked up at me “Where are we?” she asked.

“At my work,” I said.

“Ok,” she said rubbing her eyes. She got up and we walked back down stairs. The rest of the morning was boring and at lunch I took Leslie to a kids restaurant. When we got there we sat there and Leslie ate her chicken nuggets and I ate a salad.

“So are you in love with Cole?” Leslie asked out of no were.

I was drinking and chocked “What?” I asked.

“Are you in love with Cole?” Leslie asked again.

“Why would you ask?” I asked. “

Well I have noticed that you look at each other like my mommy and daddy use to before he went to heaven.” Leslie explained.

I didn’t answer and I took a sip of water when Leslie said, “I think you guys should get married.”

 This time I choked and some people sitting a few tables down asked, “Are you ok?”

“Yes I’m fine thank you,” I said, “Leslie.”

“What?” she asked.

“We can’t get married,” I said blushing. “Yes you can I have seen people get married on TV and all you do is stand in front of a guy and he says stuff then you kiss and then you eat cake,” Leslie matter of factly.

“What have you been watching on TV?” I asked.

What do you say will you marry Cole Leslie asked looking at me with those big blue eyes and I said sure.

He should come over tonight and you guys will get married. Leslie said finishing her meal. I will run the idea passed him I said. I let her play on the play yard when after 5 minutes she came running up to me crying and I said baby what’s wrong. I fell she said and hurt my knee. I looked down and saw that it was bleeding and I picked her up and went to the women’s bathroom and set her on the counter and cleaned her up. I put a bandage on her knee and kissed it and Leslie said my mommy did that and it feels better. We got up and went to the car. I helped buckle Leslie in and when I was walking around the car a guy stopped me. Hey beautiful he said. Hi I said I tried to move around him but he stepped in front of me. I reached for my badge but I forgot it on my desk. You want to go out sometime the guy asked. No thank you I said. Come on baby he said taking a step closer. No thank you now if you would please move I said. What if I don’t want to he said. Just then I heard Cole’s voice from behind me say Maddie sweetheart they didn’t have any chocolate ice cream so I thought we could go somewhere else he walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and I leaned back. Who is your friend Cole asked. He is not my friend I said. Who are you the guy asked? I’m her husband Cole said. The man was going to say something when Leslie rolled down the window and said are we leaving. In a min baby I said. Your married the guy asked. Yes I am I said. The guy turned and left and when he turned the corner. Cole let go and I said thank you. I saw that you left you badge and I was bringing it to you and I saw that guy bugging you and well you know the rest. I said by the way were going to get married. What Cole said? I told Leslie that we would get married I said smiling. Fine but I’m not wearing a tux he said smiling back. Come on I said I drove us back to the station and the rest of the day was slow and when we were allowed to leave Cole came home with us and when we got home Leslie said are you guys ready to get married. I turned and looked at Cole and said I’m ready if you are. Sure let’s get married Cole said. We turned back to Leslie and she said well lets skip all the talking and just go to the part where you kiss and then eat cake. Ok I turned to Cole and we kissed it was short but I felt something that I know I shouldn’t feel because he was my partner. Ok Leslie said you guys are married now let’s eat cake. I went to the fridge and got the left over cake I had and cut three pieces and gave on to Leslie and one to Cole and then sat down on the couch and I turned on a movie half way into the movie I noticed the Leslie had fallen asleep and I was getting tired and I let my head fall on Cole’s shoulder. I fell asleep and when I woke up my cell phone alarm was going off I groaned and reached for my phone and I shut the alarm off and then looked around I was in my bed. Next to me was Leslie and next to her was Cole. Cole wake up I said. Cole I said he jumped up and said what’s wrong. Nothing it’s time to get up and go to work I said. He got up and stretched and said ok. I was standing up when Leslie started waking up to. When we were dressed and ready to go we left and I let Cole drive. I fell asleep in the front seat and was awaken by Cole shaking my shoulder saying we are here. I opened my eyes and said I smell coffee he held out a cup of coffee. I took it and said I love you. Well you should we are married Cole said with smile. I looked back and Leslie was asleep. I took a sip of my coffee and turned to Cole and said thank you. For what Cole asked. Everything you have done for me. Wow Cole said. What I said. Well that is the first time you have ever thanked me with your whole heart. I rolled my eyes and hit him in the arm. We went in and there was a case where a guy was stabbed and we had to find out why. During the day Cole asked me what do you do if someone comes at you with a knife. I pull out my gun and shoot them I answered. "No you either back away or freeze," he said with an eye roll. At lunch we all went out and then went for ice cream and on the way to the ice cream shop Leslie asked Cole are you my new daddy? Cole turned and said no sweetie I’m not your new daddy. Cole turned to me and said you haven’t told her have you. I parked and Cole said I will go get the ice cream you two talk. He left and walked into the shop and I turned in my seat so I could look at Leslie and I said Leslie in a couple of days a nice lady will come and bring you to a nice family. What Leslie said with tears in her eyes? You will be placed in a nice loving family I said. But I want to live with you and Cole. Leslie said. You don’t want me I said. She looked down and I could tell she was mad. Leslie baby please look at me. She raised her head and said I’m not your baby and then looked out the window. I sighed and said you don’t want me. She didn’t answer and I turned. Cole came back to the car and said I got you chocolate Leslie he said handing her the cup of chocolate and I got you vanilla he said handing me a cup of vanilla and then he said I forgot napkins. He handed me his ice cream cone and went to go get napkins I started eating his ice cream and when he came back it was half gone. He said hey that was mine. I said sorry but yours always taste better he took my cup and ate mine while I finished his cone. When we got back to the station. There was a lady waiting by the captain and he said that is Ms. Parker and she is here to take Leslie and I stopped in my tracks because I thought I would have another day at least. The lady came up to Leslie and said come on. Leslie went with the lady without even saying goodbye to me. I went to sit at my desk. I started crying and Cole came up and hugged me and said go after her. I said she deserves someone better. There is no one better than you; you need her as much as she needs you Cole said. I jumped up and ran out of the building and Cole was following and I saw the car drive away. Cole and I got in his car and drove to Ms. Parkers office and when we got there Ms. Parker was still out so we waited and when she finally came in we spoke in her office while Cole waited outside in her office I told her that I wanted to get Leslie back. You cant unless you are thinking of adopting her. I want to adopt her I said. Where is she I asked? She is with a foster home right now before you can have her I need to make sure that you have a nice clean environment for Leslie to live in and she said tell me about your home. I described Cole’s home. He lived in the home he got when is parents passed away and it was big with four rooms and a back yard. She said I need to take a tour. Fine I said when? How about now I have about a half an hour before my next case. We walked out to where Cole was waiting and he stood and said hey. Hi she needs to see where we live I said. Ok he said you want to drive. I took the keys and drove to Cole’s house and when we got there. Ms. Parker got out and I said please go along with this to Cole before getting out of the car and walking over to Ms. Parker and said follow me and then I turned to Cole who was following and he tossed me his keys and mouthed the red on and I use the key with the red ring around it. I opened the door and I showed Ms. Parker the house. After she was done she said yes this is very nice now it will be a few days before you hear from me but I will call you with the decision if you can adopt Leslie or not. We drove her back to her office and when she got out of the car and went back inside Cole drove back to his house and we went inside and said so you are moving in with me. I couldn’t show here my apartment because it is one big disaster and your house is ten times better to raise a child in and you have the room, Please don’t be mad at me I said looking down. I’m not it will be nice to have people around Cole said. Really I said he was sitting on the couch and I was sitting on the armrest and he pulled me down in his lap and I said what if they don’t let me have her. I said tears coming into my eyes. Why wouldn’t she you told her about the time you have already spent with her? I shook me head yes because I would start crying if I spoke. Cole said it will all work out and we will get Leslie back. I said I hope so but what if Leslie still hates me. She doesn’t hate you she was mad and I think that she will forgive you Cole said. Ok I said. I got up off his lap which room is my room I asked? Take your pick he said. I went upstairs and looked through the rooms and I found one with baby blue walls and a little balcony. I laid down on the bed and it was comfortable. I got up and looked at the bathroom and it was big to. I left my room and went exploring around the house. I walked into the master bedroom and looked around. I opened his closet. His closet was very neat everything in its place. Even his shoes were neatly placed on the floor. I went out to his balcony and sat on that chair he had and we looking when Cole came up behind me and asked what are you doing in my room? Just looking around I said. It is freezing out here why don’t we go inside. I don’t feel the cold I said. He put a hand on my arm and said your skin is freezing come inside and get warmed up please. Which room did you pick? Cole asked. The one with blue walls. I said. I stood up and said I’m going to take a shower and then go to sleep. Ok Cole said. I went to my room and took a shower and went to bed. I fell asleep and was awoken by Cole saying lets go start packing your apartment. I grabbed the other pillow and put it over my head and started poking Cole. Cole asked what are you doing. Trying to find the snooze button I said. Ha Ha Ha very funning Cole said grabbing my arm and then he said time to get up. No I said. Fine he said and he let go of my arm and left the room. I curled up and was falling back asleep when I felt Cole pick me up. My eyes flow open and I said what are you doing. He didn’t answer and he brought me into the bathroom and the water was running and I said no stop. He said you wouldn’t wake up this is what you get. No I tried to fight but me put me in the tube and I got soaked by cold water. Cole I screamed and jumped out of the tube. He was laughing and had to sit on the edge of the tube and I went to him and pushed him back. He was surprised and fell back and got soaked also. He said not cool. He tried to get up but slipped and I was laughing and he said could you at least help me up. He extended his hand and I grabbed it and then he pulled me on top of him so the cold water was hitting me. I said jerk and got off him and turned off the water and looked at my soaked cloths. I sighed and took off my long sleeve shirt. Cole was next to me you are mean I said. He smiled and took off his shirt and I looked at his great body. Like what you see he said after he caught me staring. I blushed and looked away and said you wish and walked out of the room and into his room and went to his closet and looked through his cloths I pulled out a button down shirt and I was looking through his pants when he walked in and said what are you doing. All me cloths are at my apartment and I’m not leaving soaking wet so I’m looking for pants. He walked over to his dresser and said I don’t think that my jeans are going to fit you so here he throw me a pair of his boxer. I held them up and said you expect me to go out in a pair of boxers. Yes because we are just going to your apartment and no one will see you Cole said. I said fine and went into the bathroom and changed and looked at myself and sighed. I looked like I was wearing a guy’s shirt and nothing else and then I realized this is what I would look like if I were dating Cole. I walked out and found Cole in the kitchen and said I’m not stepping out of this house looking like this. Cole turned wow you look sexy he said. Shut up I said. No one will see you Cole said. Fine lets go and get this over with. We just have to walk to the car and then your home free. I sighed and took a deep breath and Cole opened the door and I stepped out and of course that’s when his neighbor has to come home. She looked at Cole and then at what I was wearing and said hi Cole. Hi he said and then he whispered in my ear I have an idea. He walked up to his neighbor and said something to her and she shook her head and then Cole said come here to me and I walked over there and he said Jamie has some cloths for you to barrow. No I couldn’t I said. Well if you want to walk into your apartment building like that Cole said. I looked down and said what do you have. She smiled and said follow me I walked with her to her walk in closet and she said what size are you. In women’s I’m small I said. Really me too Jamie said. She was looking through her cloths when she said so are you and Cole dating. I said no we just work together. Oh I was just asking because he is always talking about you and then you coming out of his house wearing that. She handed me a t-shirt and some jeans and I changed and said thank you. Your very welcome and you can keep the cloths. I said thanks again and went to Cole who was leaning agents the car. I walked over and said let’s go. We first went to a moving place and got a bunch of boxes and then to my apartment and worked most of the night and by the next afternoon we were both tired and we had packed my whole apartment. We rented a truck and loaded the boxes and I handed the keys to the super and then left for good. When we were driving I said I’m moving in with you. Yes I know if you weren’t then where would you put all your stuff Cole said. I said I mean its like kinda weird don’t you think. No not really we spend most of the day together. Cole said. When we parked in front of his house we were both falling asleep and I said lets unpack after a nap. We went inside and went to bed. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I just looked at my reflection and then I heard a crash and Cole cuss. I ran to his room and I saw glass of the floor and Cole was in the bathroom running his hand under water. I went on and saw that the water in the sink was red I said what happened and I pulled his hand so I could see it and I got a towel and held it to the cut. It doesn’t look that deep I said I got the first aid kit and made him sit down on the bed. I knelt in front of him and bandaged up his cut. When I was done I said there all done. Thanks he said I said do you need help cleaning up the glass. No I think I can manage he said. I said I’ll watch just in case and I sat on the bed. This is really comfortable I said. I know that’s why it is in my bedroom. I laid my head on the pillow and fell asleep. I woke from a dreamless sleep and I felt an arm around me and I freaked out. I pushed the arm off and jumped out of bed and I woke Cole up in the process. What’s wrong Cole said? Nothing I’m fine my voice broke on the last word and I ran from the room and I went into my bathroom and locked the door. I was crying by then and I looked down and I was still dressed and so I said running. I’ll run away the emotion. I went into the room and put on my shoes and looked at the clock and it was 4:00 in the afternoon. I headed for the door and I ran into Cole on the way and I said I’m going for a run and he saw the tears and said what’s wrong I ran pass him and out the door. I got to the sidewalk and turned and looked both ways and I decided to turn right and run. I ran to a park and decided to run through it. After a while I heard footsteps behind me and I tried to run faster but the tears made it hard to see where I was going and I was getting tired because I was already running my fullest. Then I felt an arm around my waist no I cried. Cole turned me around to face him and said stop it’s me. I tried to hide my face and wipe away my tears but he turned my face so I had to look at him. We were both breathing hard. I finally looked in his eyes and they were concerned. I just broke down and my knees buckled under me. Cole caught before I hit the ground. He picked me up and brought me to a bench and set me down he sat down and pulled me into his arms and waited until I calmed down. Then he asked what is going on. I started crying and then I said I can’t tell you. Why not whatever it is we will deal with it together. I was sobbing when I said I...I was raped. Cole suddenly held me tighter and said I’m so sorry. When did it happen and I said it happened about 2 months ago. That’s why you took those weeks off Cole said. I shook my head and I felt dirty again and I said can we go home but Cole wasn’t paying attention to me he was looking at the playground. I followed his eyes and there sitting alone was a little girl holding a little purple bear. Leslie I said I got up and yelled Leslie. Leslie looked up and when she saw me she jumped off the bench and ran up to me and jumped in my arms and I hugged her tight. I was crying again but this time I was happy and then I heard a lady come running over saying put her down. Cole held up his badge and I said I’m going to adopt her and the lady said oh yes they did call and say someone was interested in little Les here. Leslie cringed when she said that and I said well I’m going to hang around here while you’re here and the lady went back to the other kids and I hugged her again carried her over to a bench she calls you Les I said. Yes and I don’t like it but she keeps doing it Leslie said. Well it doesn’t matter because in a few days you are going to live with me and I’m going to be your mommy and she hugged me. She was sitting in my lap when I said and Cole is going to be your daddy. Leslie looked up at Cole and he shook his head yes and she reached her arms up and Cole picked her up and they hugged and I watched and then he set her down. What would you like to go and play I asked? Swings Leslie said. We got up and went to the swings and Cole pushed Leslie and I. After about two hour the lady called Leslie and said it was time to go and Leslie stopped swinging and said no and jumped into my arms and I said don’t worry we will be a family very soon ok. I kissed her head set her down and she went over to the lady who had 3 other kids. Leslie went with them looking back once and I saw that she was crying. I started crying Cole pulled me up from the swing and into his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder. He said you will have her soon. I sighed and said can we go home he said yes and we started walking and I asked how far did I run? About 4 1/2 miles and that was full out running I’m amazed Cole answered. I was running off my feelings I said. Do you want to talk about it Cole asked gently? I started feeling dirty and I said no I just want to take a shower. He brought me to the parking lot and his car was there. I asked how did you know where I was? I saw you turn right and I just followed in my car. I climbed in and he drove home. I went straight to the bathroom and started a shower. I was crying and I turned on the water to hot only. It started fogging up the room. I was crying really hard and I fell to my knees and I curled up by the corner and sobbed. I heard Cole knock on the door and say you ok. I tried to answer but couldn’t and then Cole tried the doorknob but it was locked I don’t remember locking it. I was sobbing when I heard the door click and open and Cole came in and got down on his knees and pulled me into his arms. He picked me up and carried me to the bed and set me down “you should take a nap” he said. I cried myself to sleep and had a nightmare about the rape and felt Cole shaking me and I opened my eyes and flinched away from his touch looking around in a panic. “It’s just me its ok your safe I’m here” Cole said. I was crying again and I grabbed his wrist “don’t leave me,” I said. Ok He said and laid down next to me and I curled up against his chest and he wrapped the blanket around me and then held me close. I felt safe in his arms and I fell asleep and sleep nightmare free. When I woke the next morning Cole was still asleep and I tried to move and unconsciously he tightened his grip on me then he loosened and I got up and took a quick shower and I grabbed his shirt and his bathrobe bath robe and put them on because I realized that my clothes were still in the moving van. I sighed why me I thought. I walked back out to my bedroom and Cole had moved in my absence and he was lying on his back and he had his arms folded under his head and I realized that he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I looked at the clock and it was still early and I thought I could sneak out to the car I know that the box with my cloths in it was right by the door. I could sneak out to the car and grab it without anyone seeing me. I walked to the front door and I was holding the robe closed because I was only wearing his shirt under. I was about to open it when I heard a knock and I opened it and it was a very pretty lady and she took one look at me said hi is Cole home. I said he is sleeping. Is that Cole’s bathrobe the lady asked? I looked down and the robe had opened I said yes I barrowed it. He never let me use it she said getting mad. I closed it and said I didn’t ask. She just looked at me and I said do you want me to tell him you stopped by miss. No thank you I can see that he moved on and I hope that you will be very happy together she said turning and I was about to say we weren’t together but she was already on her cell and to her car. I sighed and walked out to the car and got the box and went back inside. I walked to my bedroom and Cole was gone. I walked to my bathroom and changed and walked down to the living room where Cole was sitting on the couch. Cole was there fully dressed and I got a cup of coffee and sat next to him and I said so I meet your girlfriend this morning but I think she broke up with you because of me I said grabbing the comics and started reading. I don’t have a girlfriend Cole said. Well there was this girl at the door this morning and I answered the door in your bathrobe and only wearing one of your shirts she got mad and said not to tell you she stopped by and that you never let her wear your bathrobe and she hopes we are happy together. That would be Hidey Cole answered not looking up from the paper. How do you know that it was Hidey I said there was a stab of jealousy when I said her name. She was always a drama queen Cole said. I said oh. Cole looked up and said she meant nothing. I said I don’t care not looking up at him because my eyes would give me away. She meant nothing he said again. I tried to make my voice sound not jealous but failed when I said I couldn’t care less. He didn’t say anything and I looked up and he was inches away from my face and then he leaned in and kissed me. I was shocked for a few seconds then I kissed him back. When we pulled apart he said you’re cute when you’re jealous. I blushed and turned away. He pulled me into his arms. My back against his chest and he said I have liked you for a long time and I know now that you like me so I think we should put that into motion, so that Leslie will have a normal childhood. Is this really about Leslie or you I asked? Me Cole said he laid his chin on my shoulder lets go move you in he said. He kissed my head and then walked away from me. It took the whole afternoon to unload the truck. We started unpacking and at 12:30 pm. I stood up and stretched and said I’m going to bed. Cole stood and said me to. I went and changed into my pjs and then walked down the hall to Cole’s room and knocked and waited and then I heard come in. I opened the door and Cole was in sweat pants and a short sleeve shirt. He was sitting on his bed and he patted the spot next to him. I walked over and climbed on the bed and we got under the covers and he pulled me into his arms and I felt safe and Cole knew that. I snuggled closer into his chest and fell asleep. I slept soundly and when I woke up I was alone. I got up and heard the shower running. I walked over to the door and knocked. It’s open Cole said. I opened the door and said we need to talk. About what Cole said? About us I said. What about us Cole asked and I was getting a little angry. What are we doing here Cole I said? He poked his head out of the shower and said we are dating. What should we tell the captain I asked? Well just tell him that we are dating Cole said. He still had his head out of the shower and I took a towel and throw it at him and he said thanks. He turned the water off and wrapped the towel around himself and stepped out. I’m serious I said. We will just tell him the truth so relax he said. He kissed my head and then left the bathroom. I put my head in my hands and said oh boy. I sat there until Cole called from his room are you going to spend all day in there. I walked out and Cole was looking at my chest and I looked down and I forgot that I was where the pjs that had the word juicy and my butt and across my chest. Cole smiled and I blushed and said I’m going to go change. Cole caught me before I got to the door and wrapped me in his arms and said why are you embarrassed we are together now and I’m allowed to check you out. I blushed deeper and hid my head under his chin. He laughed and said you know that your beautiful and you have a great body. I pulled back and said not really. Yes really every time we walk down the street every guy you pass stares at you and I hate it Cole said. Why I asked? Because I have liked you ever since I meet you but never had the nerve to tell you but when you got jealous about Hidey, I knew that you felt the same way.  I have for a long time I said. He kissed me and then said you want to go to the fair today. Sure I said. I started walking to my room when I called back stop looking at my butt. No Cole called. I walked to my room and changed into a pair of cutoff jeans and a tank top. I walked out pulling my hair into a ponytail and Cole was waiting he had changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Come on he said. He grabbed my hand and I said you sound like a kid a Christmas. He said very funny and we left. We drove to the fair and Cole parked and we walked into the fair. I looked around and the first thing I saw was the bumper car. I grabbed his hand and we went on them. After that Cole took me to play games and he won Leslie a big teddy bear. We put him in the car and then went back to the fair and Cole bought me cotton candy. I ate it and then we went to the merry go round. I rode on a horse and Cole stood next to me and I saw the kids and sighed Cole noticed and kissed my head and said you will get her back soon. After that we were walking around holding hands and then I stopped dead in my tracks a look of fear crossed my face and Cole stopped and put hand on each side of my face and he said what is it. Clown I said. What Cole said? I pointed and said clown Cole turned and saw the clown a few yards away. Cole turned back and I had started to cry and Cole was looking at me with non-believing eyes “you can have a crazy serial killer hold a gun to your head and not break a sweat and you see a clown and you cry” he said shaking his head. They terrify me I said. He wiped my tears away and took my hand and walked away from the clown. I’m sorry for being a baby I said looking down and Cole pulled me out of the way of the crowd and turned my head so I had to look at him and he said you are not a baby because you have a thing that you are scared of, A good cop knows that it is ok to be scared. I looked at him and said wow Dr. Phil that was deep. He said ok fine but I will hold this over you for a long time. My boyfriend wouldn’t do that to me I said putting on my fake puppy dog face and Cole said I’ve been around you too long to fall for that anymore and besides you love me too much to cause any permanent damage Cole said. I looked at him there is an international debate going on about that I said trying to look serious. But Cole saw through that and he kissed me and said has the debate stopped? That kiss made my head spin and all I did was shake my head and he smiled and said good. Now let’s go on the Farris wheel he said taking my hand. I looked at it and said let’s do something else. Why are you scared Cole said teasing me? I said no lets go. We went and while we were waiting in line Cole said this is going to be fun and I wasn’t paying attention because it was starting to get dark and the sky was pretty colors. Clown Cole said and I snapped out of it and looked around in a panic. Cole said just kidding clam down. I punched him in his arm and he said ow. Then he said our turn and we went on the ride when we were at the top I was shacking because I was scared of heights. Cole had his arm around me and I turned my head and hid. He tightened his hold and said its ok I’m here and nothing will happen. Cole said. I didn’t do anything and Cole said look at the view. I shook my head no. Cole said it’s ok. I looked up at him and then out at the view. It was really pretty. I snuggled closer to Cole. When we got off the ride Cole said what do you want to do now? I looked around and saw a shooting game. I turned to look at Cole and smiled and he said what. I pointed at the game and he said cool. We went over and I picked up the rifle and weighted it in my hand and Cole took it from my hand and said let me. He paid and won. He picked a pink hippo and handed it to me and I looked at it and then looked up at Cole with tears in my eyes and he asked what? I had a hippo just like this when I was little and it was my only friend because I was moved around a lot but I lost him in one of the moves. I hugged it and then I felt Cole hug me and say well now you have it back. I kissed him and said thank you. We went to the car and drove home I grabbed the bear and my hippo and went into the house and put the bear in the room that would be Leslie’s it had pale purple walls. I put the hippo in my room and went back to the living room and Cole was walking out of the kitchen when he hit the flashing message machine. Cole sat down on the couch. I walked over and sat in his lap and was falling asleep while Cole listened to his messages and then I heard Ms. Parkers voice. I sat up and listened and she said that we could pick up Leslie tomorrow. After the message ended the machine said no more messages and I smiled and kissed Cole and he kissed me back. He picked me up and carried me to his room and closed the door. The next morning I woke up and felt someone watching me. I opened my eyes and saw Cole watching me and I asked what are you doing? Cole smiled and said watching you sleep. I smiled and kissed him. He got up and got dressed and said lets go get Leslie. I got up and got dressed and was waiting for Cole at the door and he finally came down after what felt like forever but was really like 5 minutes. I grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door. We drove to Ms. Parker’s office and she took us to the house where Leslie was staying. Leslie and the lady were waiting out in the front yard. I got out of the car and Leslie ran up to me and jumped in my arms and I said lets go home. We drove back to Ms. Parker’s office then drove to Cole’s home and Leslie asked where are we? This is where we live now I answered. Does Cole live here to Leslie asked? This is his house I answered. We all went in and I showed her around. I took her to her new bedroom and she liked it a lot and then we all watched movies all night. We fell asleep. I was the first to wake up and my head was on Cole’s shoulder and Leslie was lying on my side. I moved and Leslie started waking up I got up and picked her up and walked to Cole’s room and out to his balcony and sat down with Leslie in my lap she was fully awake and I hugged her and said I missed you so much baby. I missed you to Leslie said. We sat there just looking at the view when we heard footsteps and a friendly voice say there are my girls. Cole came up behind us and set a hand on my shoulder and I said yes just looking at the view. Leslie turned and said what are we going to do today. I looked up at Cole and said I think we need to go to work before the captain fires us both. Cole laughed and said I think you are probably right. We all got ready and I was just finishing putting on my makeup when I heard a knock on my door and I said it’s open. I looked over and Leslie walked in holding two hair bands and she asked could you braid my hair? Sure do you want a normal braid or a French braid? I asked. French braid please she said looking up at me and I said ok. I sat her on my bed and braided her hair into two French braids. I finished when Cole knocked on the door. I opened the door and walked back to the bathroom. I pulled my hair back and walked back out to were Cole and Leslie were waiting. Lets go I said. We all drove to the station. When we walked in we walked to our desks and we were sitting down when another cop came over and said I would go see the captain. Why I asked? He said because dads mad. I looked over a Cole and then turned back to the cop and asked came you keep an eye on Leslie for me. Sure he said. Cole and I walked slowly to the captain’s office getting ready to be yelled at. We knocked and the captain said come in and we walked in and closed the door and the captain looked up and said sit down. I was getting very nerves. The captain said you better have a very good reason why you haven’t been in. I said well I had to move and I got Leslie back I said pointing back over my head. The captain said well congrats on getting Leslie but where did you move too. I felt my eyes grow big and I tried to calm myself. I looked over at Cole and then back at the captain. The captain said Cole please leave. My eyes grow bigger and Cole stood and gave me a look that said calm down. I took a deep breath and then looked up to meet the captain’s eyes and he said are you going to answer my question. I said yes I moved in with Cole. I looked down and then waited for the captain to say something but he never did. I looked up and the captain said how long. What I asked. How long have you been dating he asked coming around the desk and standing in front on me. Not long I said. He said well I might have to beat him up for not telling me. What I said. Well you know that I have always thought of you as a daughter. I nodded and said well I grow up here and you were the closet thing that I have ever had to a father. He took my hand and said I was the closest thing have you replaced me. I said no you will always be my daddy I said smiling. The captain was the only person who knows all the details of my past and when he found out he has treated me as his daughter. He was the one who sent me to collage. He also knows about the rape and he made me take the weeks off. Cole only knows bits of my past because I didn’t like to talk about it. I stood up and he said send Cole in please. I said ok but please don’t hurt in him too much. He smiled and said no promises. I walked out and Cole was sitting at his desk I walked over and said I’m sorry. He looked up and said about what. I said you will find out the captain wants to see you. He stood and went to the captain’s office and I saw him sit down. I wish I could hear what they were saying then. I was watching from my desk. I was watching so intensely that I didn’t hear or see Leslie and the cop walk over. He taped my shoulder and I jumped. Leslie giggled and I said what’s so funny. Nothing she said giggling again I picked her up and said nothing then I started to tickle her. I stopped when I saw someone walk in the station. I put Leslie down and I said stay here sweaty. Ok she said starting to color on a piece of paper with my fuzzy pen. I walked over to the guy that was standing there. Can I help you I asked? He looked up and said yes I need help. Ok follow me I said. No I need help now he said getting loader and I said ok what is it? He said a man is getting mugged outside. I grabbed my gun and ran outside and ran into the ally and I saw this guy getting beat up hey I yelled the guy froze and looked up at me and I pointed my gun and I walked over slowly and the guy put his hands up and I handcuffed him and then handed him to Ben he was another cop I worked with. I said take him to the interrogation room please. Ben nodded and I walked over to the guy who was getting up and I said are you ok. The guy nodded and said thanks and I said you’re bleeding. His lip was bloody and he had a cut above his eye. They weren’t too bad and I said I could fix those up if you follow me. We went back to my desk and I got the first aid kit and I bandaged him up and when I was done he said thanks maybe I could take you out to dinner to thank you more. I said thanks but no I’m already taken. Well can’t say I didn’t try he said. He got up and walked away. I walked back and the captain’s door was closed and Cole was still inside. I walked to the interrogation room and walked in. The guy was sitting at the table. I sat across from him and he looked up at me and I said so why we’re mugging that guy? He looked at me and didn’t answer and I said fine I stood and he said how about you and I get together after I get out. I turned and said I don’t date scum. I walked out and told the cop to take care of him. I walked back to my desk and Leslie was there playing with Ben on the computer and I said what are you playing? One of the games on your computer Ben answered. I walked around and said I have games on my computer. Yes fun games Leslie said. Well I have to get to work so please quit. Ben and Leslie both looked up at me with sad looks. Come on guys don’t do that to me. Please Leslie said. I sighed and said fine. I walked over and sat at Cole’s desk. I was typing a report when there was a hand on my shoulder and I looked up and it was Cole. Hi I said. He said we need to go check out a crime scene. I said ok then looked across to Ben and he said yes I will watch her and then went back to the game. Cole and I left and went to a house that was taped off and I asked what happened. Cole said the guy that lives here killed a man named Shadow Mac and has disappeared and we are looking for something to tell us where he went. What kind of name is Shadow Mac I asked? Cole said he writes books and changed his name. Ok we walked into the house and looked all through the house until all that was left was his bedroom when we went in we stopped dead. The room was perfectly clean. Nothing was out of place. It was too clean if you know what I mean. We looked through and I said this guy is creepy. I walked over to his closet. It looked like a little walk in closet. I opened the door and walked in I turned on the light and I said Cole. He walked in behind me and said Ah I hate the creepy stocker walls. The wall was covered with pictures of Shadow Mac. There were pictures, a wedding announcement, and newspaper clippings and on the floor was a pile of his books. I was looking at the wall when Cole said Maddie that guy wasn’t the only person he was stocking and I turned and said what do you mean. Cole was looking behind the door. He shut the door and I froze the whole back of the door was of pictures and news clippings of me. I walked over and looked closer. I just looked and then Cole said who is this creep? We left and I was quite all the way back to the station. Leslie was asleep up in the cribs. We just got down to work and we worked well into the night and at about 12:30 Cole looked up and said I’m going to go lay down for a few minutes you want to come. I looked up and said I’ll come up in a few minutes. Ok he said and walked up to the cribs. Once he was gone I opened the folder holding all of the things that was on the door in the stocker’s closet. I had seen all of the news clippings and I looked at the pictures. There were ones of me on the street, one of me in a book store looking at a book, drinking coffee, there was one with Cole and I he had his arms around me from when the guy wouldn’t leave outside of the kid restaurant, and a bunch of Cole and I walking. One where I had jumped on Coles back at the park. The ones that got my attention were the ones of Cole and I at the fair. I slowly looked at them there was a picture of us in bummer cars, one of me holding the teddy bear, Me eating the cotton candy, one of me crying because of the clown, a few of Cole and me on the fairs wheel, and one of us hugging after he won me the hippo. The most resent was one of Leslie and me. I closed the file and stood I picked up the file and took a step but I tripped and dropped the file and the pictures fell out and then I saw the writing on the back. I picked them all up and went back to my desk and turned them all over. They all had dates and what I was doing on them. But the ones of Cole and I had more writing on them. They were different things on all of them like on the one of Cole and I hugging it said My love and her soon to be ex-boyfriend enjoying there last moments together until I take care of him for good. The one of me crying said I didn’t know that someone could look so beautiful crying. The one of Leslie and I said my soon to be wife Mrs. John Patterson and our daughter Leslie Patterson. I was reading them when there was a knock at the door. I jumped and grabbed my gun and went to the door and opened it and stepped outside. There was no one around. I looked down and there was an envelope I picked it up and walked back in when I got into the light I saw that the envelope had my name on it I turned back to the door. I felt a hand on my shoulder I jumped and turned and pointed my gun at the person. Cole said hey it’s just me and holding up his hands in a surrendering way. When I saw him I dropped my gun and the envelope on the floor and pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around me. He said baby what’s wrong you’re shaking. I didn’t answer and hugged him tighter. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes and said tell me what happened. My eyes filled with tears and I said have you seen the pictures. He said yes I know that they’re horrible. No have you read the back of them. He said no I didn’t know that there was anything on the backs. Then when I was reading I heard a knock on the door so I grabbed my gun and went to the door and no one was there but there was an envelope and it had my name on it. Cole just looked at me and he said you know that when you went to the door that was the part of the movie where the audience was yelling don’t answer the door. I smiled I’m not blond so I make it till the end of the movie at least, I’m sorry I was just a little jumpy I said. He said what was in the envelope. I turned and on the floor next to my gun was the big envelope. I didn’t move but Cole got my gun and the envelope and walked back to his desk and I walked over and sat on top of his desk. He opened the envelope and pulled out what looked like a couple of pictures and a piece of paper. Cole looked up at me and handed me the picture and the paper and I looked at them. The first picture was of Cole and me when Cole had pinned me to the floor smiling at each other when the other cops were around us. I looked at the next one and it was the same as the first but it was just of Cole and I no other cops. The last one was the one that was the scariest it was a picture of me smiling up but it wasn’t Cole on top of me it was John Patterson. I was starting to shake and then I looked at the paper and it said soon my love. I was shaking and I was crying when Cole took the pictures out of my hands and wrapped his arms around me I cried into his chest and he said why didn’t you go lay down for a little bit. I said would you lay down with me. He said sure. We walked up to the cribs and went to the one next to Leslie. We laid down and I snuggled up as close as I could to Cole. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head and he said everything will be fine. I fell asleep and had a nightmare and I woke up and sat up looking around and calmed down when I realized where I was. Cole said what’s wrong from next to me. I turned back to him and laid back down. I laid my head on his chest and he said we will get him. I sighed and said I know. Just then Ben came into the room and he said we caught him. Cole and I jumped up and ran down stairs. We walked to the interrogation rooms and looked through the one way glass and there sitting at the table was John Patterson. Cole said has he said anything. No he said he will only talk to Maddie Ben said. No Cole said. I turned to Ben and said where is Leslie? Ben said at your desk coloring. Ok I walked over and kissed her on the head and said good morning sweaty. She looked up and said hi. I looked at the picture she was drawing and said is that puppy and a kitten. Leslie said yes could we get one of each. What a puppy and a kitten I said. Yes Leslie said. Maybe I answered. I have always wanted animals but never had a reason to get them. Ben walked back over and I said why don’t you tell Ben about them why I get back to work. Ok Leslie said. I walked back to the interrogation room and Cole was in there sitting across from John and I turned on the volume to hear what they were saying. Cole said why won’t you talk to me. John said because just like I said to the other cop I will only talk to my love. Cole said well she is not coming in here. John then said well I guess I’m not talking. Cole got up and came out and looked at me and I said just let me go in. No he said. I’m not a baby I can take care of myself I said. I know but I still say no. I don’t have to listen to you I said getting a little angry. He didn’t answer he just walked away and I saw him walk out of the station house. I felt bad that I made him angry but I think that we need to find out why he killed that man. I took a deep breath then walked into the interrogation room. John didn’t look up and he said I’m not talking. I said fine and turned. John said my love I thought they were too scared to let you in here with me. I said they were scared of what I would do to you. He laughed and said why would you hurt me my love. I said don’t call me that. Why we will be together soon he said. Did it ever accrue to you that I was already taken I said. Yes I know with that other cop he said rolling his eyes. I said I’m married. No you’re not John said. I held up my left hand and on my ring finger was my mother’s ring that I always wear. He laughed and said a ring doesn’t prove anything. What will convince you then I asked. Nothing no matter what we will be together he said. No we won’t I said. Why not I’m in love with you and you will grow to love me and I could be a great father to Leslie. I snapped when he said her name. You Son of a b***h I went over and kicked his chair out from under him and he fell to the floor and I kicked him and I was screaming you will never get close to her she has a great father and I will kill you if you even think about coming anywhere close to us. I was kicking him the whole time. The captain burst through the door and pulled me away. I broke free from his hold and yelling get off me and walked from the room. I walked right into the locker room and I walked up to the lockers and tried to calm down. All I could think about was how much he knew about me. I felt so violated. I stood and punched the lockers. I hit them with all my might over and over again. When the anger finally drained I dropped down to my knees and cried into my hands. I felt the blood run down my hands but I didn’t care. I heard the door open and I didn’t have to look up to know who it was. Cole wrapped his arms around me and I cried onto his chest while he held me he whispered it will be all right. When I calmed down and pulled away from Cole he took my hands and said what did you do? I looked and they were bleeding badly and I said I took my anger out on the lockers. We need to take you to the hospital he said. No I said. Cole said I know that you don’t like them but we have to. I sighed and said can’t you just bandage them here. He held up my hands and they were bleeding really badly. Fine I said Cole helped me off the floor. We walked out and I noticed that Leslie wasn’t at my desk so I asked Cole Where is Leslie? Ben took her to get some ice cream to keep her from hearing you screaming at John Patterson. I lost control I said looking down. I would have done 10 times worse Cole said. I looked up and said how did you find me. Well Ben told me that you went in there and that you were screaming so I went in but you were already gone. I helped the captain get the guy seated again you did a real number on him but he will be fine. He said he would be a good father to Leslie I said making a fists and then wincing then looking at my knuckles. Cole put his hand on my back and said come on. He drove me to the hospital where they bandaged my knuckles and then we went back to the station and Leslie was basically bouncing off the walls and Ben looked tired. I said what did you give her. I let her pick her own ice cream and she got like chocolate with chocolate fudge and sprinkles and then I got her gummy bears. I said wow and looked at Leslie and said Hey munchkin lets go to the park. She ran up to me and said ok and the she ran outside. I thanked Ben and grabbed Cole’s hand and we walked to the park. It took about 3 hours for the sugar to wear off and Cole had to carry her back he put her in the cribs and then came back and sat at his desk. I was working on paper work and I felt him watching me. I looked up and Cole was staring at me and I asked what. Nothing your just pretty Cole said smiling. I blushed and then said so are you going to let me in there again. I would say no say no but I know that I can’t stop you so if you want but I’m in there to Cole said. I don’t need protection I said. It’s not you I’m protecting Cole said. I looked at him and said fine we got up and went back to the interview room. When we opened the door John looked up and smiled and said why my love you have returned. I said yes. John looked up at Cole and said why is he here I won’t hurt her I love her. He is not here to protect me he is here to protect you I said sitting across from him. John looked at me and said you won’t hurt me again you just got mad because you know that I’m right. I didn’t show that what he said got to me but I know that Cole know because he stood up ready for me to attack him again. I looked at him and shook my head no telling him that I was all right. He sat back down and John said wow she has you on a string there buddy. Then he looked up at me and said don’t worry you can keep me on a short string I don’t mind being close to you. I looked at him and said I have just one question. What is that my love John said ignoring Cole? I said why did you pick me. Because I know that we were meant to be the minute I saw you in the bookstore but then I saw you and him and you two were always together so I knew that I would find a way that we could be together and here we are. I was shocked you killed a man just to get close to me I said. Yes I did that proves that I love you more than he ever could. How do you know that it is him I asked? Because I’m not stupid I see the way you look at each other and we could be that way if you just give us a try. I said you killed a man because you’re too scared to come and talk to me so I don’t think that I will ever give us any kind of chance and then he jumped out of his seat and jumped at me but Cole was faster and had him pinned to the table before he could even reach me. Cole said leave and then John said I will be in your head until I die I will always be there. I was stunned. I turned and walked back to my desk and said I’m glad that is over. Me to Cole said walking from the room he said he is going to jail and not getting out. Then he came around to me and whispered so that no one could over hear and he said what he said didn’t get to you did it. I looked up and smiled and said no. Even thought it got to me big time. Cole looked at me with worry in his eyes. I stood and put my hands on his shoulders and said I’m fine and just remember I’m your and no one will ever change that. He pulled me into a hug and said I know. Then someone behind us said get a room and I was going to say something and it was Charlie. Charlie is that really you? I asked running I ran jumped into his arms. He picked me up and said wow you have grown. Well that is what happens when I don’t see you for how long. About 6 years Charlie said. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him and he hugged me back and then he said ok let me see how you have grown up. He set me down and I stood up tall and turned around a couple times and he said not bad. I smiled and hugged him again and said why haven’t you come to see me. Because I only found you a couple of days ago he said. Okay I forgive you I said. Then I said I want you to meet someone. I grabbed his hand and pulled him over to Cole who was still by my desk waiting. I said Cole this is my big brother Charlie and Charlie this is my boyfriend Cole. They shook hands and said hey. I thought you were any only child Cole said. I was Charlie was my case workers son and since I was moved around so much we grow up together but then when I was 22 we lost contact. I hugged him and he said wow I can see you missed me. I said I missed you a lot. So what was she like when she was little Cole asked? I looked up at Charlie and he said she was one of the guys you couldn’t pay her any amount of money to put on a dress or skirt and she could hit like nobody’s business. I said like this. I hit Charlie in the arm and I said ow because his arm was hard as a rock. He smiled and said I work out now. I said I could see that. Well why don’t we hang out tonight at my house and Charlie said ok. That night we had a movie night like we had when we were young. We watched movies and ate popcorn and candy and pizza and Charlie liked Leslie the minute he meet her and vice versa. The next three weeks went by fast. On a Monday I got the letter. Before I opened it Cole came over to my side of the desk and said you want to go out tonight I was going to answer but then I saw Charlie walk in the door. Hey Charlie I said. He nodded and walked on like he was busy and I stopped him and said can’t you stop and a least talk. No I can’t he said. Why are you late for lifting weights I said? He looked down at me and said is that all you think I do. No sometimes I think you take a break from your arms and work on your legs. He said I have a date. I looked up and said with whom. I was jumping up and down. He put a hand on my shoulder to stop my jumping and he said stop being a little sister. But that’s me job I said. He said fine it’s with Jane Hunter. From the lawyers office Jane Hunter I said. He said yes. Oh my god no way I said. He put his hand over my mouth and said not another word and turned and left. I walked back to my desk and Cole said when dose Leslie get out of school again I said 1:30 and I said remember it is your turn to pick her up. I looked at my watch and it was 1:00 so you better go. He walked over and kissed me before he left and I was thinking how could things get any better. I looked on my desk and remembered the letter so I opened it and I started to feel like I was going to throw up and then I started to read the letter,

Dear, My love

   Have you missed me? I’m having a blast in jail. Have you thought about me like I have thought about you? When I get out I promise you that we will be together and that your loser boyfriend Cole will not bug us so we will be a family you, Leslie and I. I do hope that you will come and see me soon. I miss you. Come and see me I have something very important to tell you. I know that I wont get out for a while but we will make it work.

Love you,

John

I dropped the letter and I was getting angry. I got up and drove to the jail. I sat in the parking lot for about 20 minuets. I got out and saw him. We were put in a room and I waited until they brought him in. When he was setting the guards left and said just knock when you are ready to leave. I looked over and John was looking at me and he said you got my letter I see. I said yes and please never try and contact me ever again get it through your head that we will never be together. John said why we will be together. I said stop no we wont we will never be together and I will never love you. I saw him getting mad and once I said that I would never love him he said what time is it. I looked at my watch and said it’s about 1:30. I looked up at him and he said good then he jumped across the table and pinned me against the wall and I tried to scream but he had his hand over my mouth and he pushed me down and I screamed Cole. It came out louder then I expected. John pinned me down and ripped open my shirt. Help Cole I screamed even though I knew that he wouldn’t be there. John kissed my stomach and I felt like I was going to throw up. I was crying and trying to break free of his hold but I couldn’t. The door burst open and Cole ran over to us and pulled John off me and pushed his against the wall and started punching him and the other cops came in and got John and then Cole came over to me. I had moved and was sitting against the wall with my legs pulled up to my chest with my head on my knees. I still didn’t know that it was Cole who was there. Cole put a hand on my back and I flinched and said please don’t touch me. Baby it’s me Cole said. I looked up still crying and my arms flow around him and he wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried and when I was calmed down he helped me up and gave me his jacket. I put it on and we walked out and when we got to his car he helped me in and while we were driving I said why. Why what Cole said. Why didn’t the guards help me the first time I screamed? Cole sighed and said they were changing shifts. How did you know where to find me I asked? He said I forgot my wallet and sunglasses and when I drove back to the station you were gone and I saw the letter and I asked Ben if he could pick up Leslie and drove straight here and I just had gotten through the metal detectors when I heard you scream my name and I ran to help Cole said. I said you are my knight. He said I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner to stop it before it happened. I said I feel so stupid. Why Cole asked. Because I’m a police officer and I couldn’t defend myself I said shaking my head. You were taken off guard Cole said you are not super women. I said I know but I still feel helpless. We pulled up to the station and when I walked in I went straight to the lockers and Cole followed and I changed my shirt and Cole said it’s not your fault. I said I know. Cole said you need to tell the captain. I said would you come with me. Of course Cole said. We walked to the captain’s office and went in and closed the door and told the captain what happened and he made me take a leave. I had a lot of vacation saved up. I said how long. The captain said I will tell you when I figure that out. I sighed and went to my desk and got Leslie. Cole took us home. That night Cole and I went to bed and I had a nightmare of the attack and screamed help me and Cole woke me up and said it’s ok your safe and I was crying onto his chest when Leslie came running into the room and onto the bed asking what happened and Cole said Mommy had a nightmare. Leslie came and sat on my lap and said its ok Daddy and I will sleep with you to make you feel better. I smiled down at her and said thank you. We all laid back down with Cole on one said of me and Leslie of the other. Cole had is arm around me and I woke up a couple hours later from another nightmare but I didn’t scream this time. I got up without waking Cole or Leslie up. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and I was wearing a tank top and flannel pajama bottoms. Which was weird because it was winter. I walked back to the room and they were still sleeping. I walked out to the balcony and closed the door behind me it was snowing I looked up at the sky. I sat down and pulled my legs to my chest and just looked out at the world. I didn’t feel the cold. I don’t know how long I was sitting there but Cole came out and said there you are what are you doing you are going to freeze out here he touched my arm and he said Maddie you are freezing cold we need to get you warm now. I just ignored him and continued looking out at the view. Cole picked me up and I said don’t put me down trying to get out of his arms and Cole said you are freezing. I’m not cold I said when Cole brought me to the bathroom. Cole locked the door and turned on the water hot only so that the room started to fog up. I looked in the mirror and my lips were blue. I was going to leave but Cole was standing in front of the door and I said let me out. No what is the matter with you Cole said? Nothing just let me out I said trying to get past him but he put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes and said please talk to me and then I said there is nothing to talk about. I said now let me out. No Cole said. What I said. Not until you warm up a little Cole said. I started to hit him and he just pulled me into a hug and I was hitting him with all I had and then I broke down and started sobbing and Cole and I sank down to the floor and Cole pulled me into his lap. I feel so dirty I sobbed. I know but he will never touch you again and you will have nothing to do with him ever again. I said he will write me again. No he wont I talked to them today and them will not let him write or call or use any other way to communicate to you so just forget him and try to get on with our life. I looked up and said I feel dirty. Why don’t you take a shower and I will go make breakfast and then all you have to do for a while is relax. I said ok I got up and Cole said wow. What I asked. Cole said you have a burse on your neck. I wiped the mirror and looked and I had a burse in the shape of a hand on my neck and said great. Cole said it will go away soon. I sighed and undressed and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt good on my skin. I felt completely filthy and I started to scrub my skin. I just kept scrubbing because it I didn’t feel like it was coming off. I didn’t notice how red my skin was until Cole took the luffa out of my hand. Hey I said. Maddie what have you done he asked looking at my stomach. I looked down and I had scrubbed it to the point where it was bleeding. Tears filled my eyes “I can still feel his kiss,” I sobbed. Cole stepped into the shower not caring that he was getting soaked. “Maddie,” was all he said pulling me into his arms. We stayed like that until my tears stopped. We got out of the shower and Cole wrapped a towel around me. He brought me out to the bedroom and pulled out cloths for me then started to pull off his soaked cloths. I slowly got dressed. The moment the shirt touched my stomach I cried out in pain. Cole was at my side in a moment “What?” he asked. I pulled my shirt up and he looked down at my stomach. He went into the bathroom and brought out the first aid kit. After he wrapped my stomach in gauze he gave me a kiss and then left. Once he left I looked around for something to do so I grabbed my keys and went and got a cup of coffee and a paper and went and sat by the window in the coffee shop. I was reading the comics when a man came up to me and said hey can I join you. I looked up and said I’m taken sorry. He said I’m not looking for a date I just don’t want to look pathetic sitting by myself. I looked at him and said sure. Once he sat down he said I mean its ok for a woman to sit down by herself but once a man does it they look pathetic. I smiled and said my name is Maddie. He said I’m Johnny Jones. My friends call me JJ. Ok JJ. I went back to reading the paper and he pulled out his paper. After about a half an hour he said thanks again. Anytime I said. I waited there until it was time to pick Leslie up from school. I walked to her school and was waiting on the sidewalk. When school got out Leslie ran up to me and said mommy look what I did. She held up a picture and then I grabbed her hand and we were about to start walking when a lady walked up to us and said Hi I’m Julie Aston Leslie’s teacher. Hi I said shaking her hand I’m Maddie McNally. I was wondering if I could take to you for a few minutes Julie asked sure I said walking back to Leslie’s classroom. Leslie why don’t you go play on the play structure Julie said. Once she left Julie said I’m worried about Leslie. Why I asked. Well she has been drawing some very graphic pictures and tells some very sad stories. What kind of pictures I asked. She pulled out a few pictures and they were of her car crash and in the pictures there were the two cars. Her car was smashed and there was blood on the window where her mother was. And there was a body next to the truck. I guess the driver. I said will you please excuse me for a min I said. Sure she said. I walked out and pulled out my cell and called Cole. Once he answered I said you need to get down to Leslie’s school now. Why what happened is Leslie ok Cole asked. Yes she is not hurt but you need to come down now I said. He said I’m in the car I will be there in 5 minutes. I hung up and walked back in and I said Leslie was in a car crash about a month ago and her mother was killed and I don’t know what she saw so I called my partner in because he knows better than me because I was the one that Leslie clung to and I went with her to the hospital. Oh my god it all makes sense now. What stories is she telling I asked getting sicker and sicker. Well a few days ago we had an assignment where they had to draw a picture of what their parents do and then share in front of the class and the class we going fine until I went to Leslie because she wasn’t working and she said she didn’t know which parents she was supposed to draw and I asked her what she meant and she said that her father died a while ago and her mother died just a month ago. I cringed and then Cole walked in. I got up and said this is Miss Aston Leslie’s teacher and she is worried about Leslie because of the pictures she has been drawing and I wasn’t there long enough to know what the scene looked like. I handed the picture to Cole and he said this is what it looked like all right. The cops told me that she saw it before they could pull her away. I was going to be sick I ran from the room and into the girl’s bathroom and got sick. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I pushed myself up of my knees and stood up in the toilet cubicle. I took a deep breath then flushed the toilet. I opened the door and stepped out. I walked to a vacant sink and turned on the water and used it to rinse the taste of vomit from my mouth. I grabbed a handful of tissue paper and brushed my face with it. I sighed and looked up at the mirror and just looked at myself and I was getting more and more angry at myself how did I not see that she was traumatized and she had seen her mother after the crash. I shook my head trying to get clam but it wasn’t working. I looked down but then I snapped and I punched the mirror and it shattered. I felt a little better but then I realized that I just shattered a mirror at an elementary school and I got down and started to pick up the glass and then I saw my hand and it was bleeding badly. I had a lot of cuts and I said damn it. I got up and grabbed another handful of paper towels and wrapped my hand the best I could. I put my hand in my jean pocket and walked out and I was in luck because there was a janitor walking by I stopped him and said the mirror was smashed and someone needs to clean it up before the kids come. The janitor said thanks and went in and I walked back to the classroom and Cole and Julie were shaking hands and Leslie was just walking in and I said I’m so sorry and Julie looked up and said that is ok. I waited outside until Cole and Leslie walked out and Leslie hugged me around my leg and then ran up to the car and climbed in. Cole and I walked to the car. I still had my hand in my pocket and I wasn’t paying any attention because I was worried about what the teacher said about Leslie and I asked Cole. He said the teacher said that Leslie needs to see a shrink. I sighed and said I’m sorry. He said there is nothing to be sorry about and I should have thought to put Leslie in therapy. I was just so happy for you that I didn’t think Cole said. I said it is not your fault let’s just go home. Ok Cole said. We got in the car and I said Leslie do you have your seat belt on and when she didn’t answer I turned and looked at her and I screamed because Leslie had blood on the side of her face and her shirt and was ether asleep or past out then Cole said Maddie your leg. I looked down and the blood had soaked through my jeans and my thigh and knee was blood red. I pulled my hand out of my pocket and it was still bleeding and I said Cole I need to go to the hospital. I realized that Leslie wasn’t hurt that was my blood that got on her when she hugged me. I was feeling light headed. I said Cole hurry and then passed out. When I woke up I was in a strange room. I blinked a few times to focus. Then I realized that I was in a hospital room and I looked around and Cole was standing by the window looking out holding a sleeping Leslie. Hey I said. Cole turned and walked over. He set Leslie on the other bed in my room and walked over to me and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him and after a few moments he suddenly pulled away and turned his back to me. I reached out and touched his back and he turned and there was anger in his eyes. I cringed away from him and looked away. I had only seen him get mad once and it was not pretty. The room was silent. Both of us remained silent. I finally got up the nerve to look at him. I turned and he was looking away back out the window. Cole I whispered. He turned and came up to the side of my bed and the anger was still in his eyes and he said how. How what I asked still whispering trying to not be afraid of him. How did you cut you hand he said still looking mad as ever. I smashed a mirror I said barley whispering. What Cole said? I smashed a mirror I said with more volume. Cole sighed and said I’m taking Leslie home and I could tell that he was still mad and I said Cole please talk to me. That was the wrong thing to say. I regretted it from the moment it came out of my mouth. Cole froze where he was and then was back next to my bed and said me talk to you that’s rich I tell you everything and you would rather bleed to death then tell me that you were hurt. What were you going to do when we got home just take the car and leave or were you going to lie and say that you were going to the store. I don’t know I whispered. Cole seemed to get madder and he yelled YOU DON’T KNOW MADDIE YOU COULD HAVE DIED WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME AFTER WE LEFT THE CLASSROOM. I said because I wasn’t thinking about it I was worried about Leslie. That’s bull and you know it you just are to god damn stubborn to ask for help from anyone and you can’t ever let anyone in. I didn’t answer. Cole sighed and he said I thought we were more than partners but I can see that we just went through an emotional time and we should just forget it and from now on we are just roomies and partners so I’m taking Leslie home and I will bring her here to see you tomorrow he turned and walked over to Leslie and I said Cole I was crying and I said please Cole but he didn’t stop he just picked Leslie up and walked out once he was gone I just curled into a ball and cried. I cried myself to sleep and when I woke up I hoped that I was just having a bad dream and that Cole would be there and he wouldn’t be mad at me. I opened my eyes and I was alone. Tears came to my eyes I was going to use to phone when the doctor came in and said Ms. McNally you are finally awake. I said yes. The doctor asked how are you feeling today? I said I’m fine and I just want to go home. Ok you seem to be fine but I was wondering how you hurt yourself. I was in the bathroom and I tripped and my hand hit the mirror. Ouch the doctor said. He said I will go the papers to get you out of here and you can get dressed. I said thanks. The doctor left and I got out of bed and got dressed trying to find out how to fix what happened with Cole and I. There was a knock on the door and I was expecting the doctor but it was dad and once I saw him I started crying and he walked over to me and pulled me into his arms and I cried I have messed everything up and I don’t know what to do. Dad said what happened between you and Cole. I said I hurt my hand by smashing a mirror and I didn’t tell Cole I just wrapped my hand in paper towels and then when Leslie hugged me she got blood on her and I thought she was hurt but my hand had bleed through my jeans and Cole saw it and I passed out and when I woke up Cole and Leslie were here Leslie was asleep but Cole was mad and he said things that were true about me not letting anyone in and then left. Dad said I knew something bad happened between you guys so I invited him into my office and when he wouldn’t tell me what happened I told him about your past and I think he gets it now. I went silent and dad said is that ok I was just trying to help. I sighed and said I don’t know if anything could help. Cole has finally realized that I’m broken goods and that he could do much better. Dad said now stop that you are not broken and you are as good as they come and Cole is an idiot to think of you any different. That’s true Cole said from behind us. I turned and said how long have you been standing there. Long enough Cole said. Dad said I will be waiting outside to take you home. He kissed me on the head and walked out. I didn’t move and neither did Cole. I was nerves that Cole knew my whole past. I hated the distance between us so I took a deep breath and walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him what was the worst he could do push me away. But he didn’t he wrapped his arms around me and said I’m sorry. I said you have nothing to be sorry about you were right I have never let anyone in because every time in the past I have ever let anyone in they had hurt me so I stopped letting anyone get close. I was going to continue but the doctor walked in and said you just need to sign here and you may go but you have to see your doctor in about 2 weeks to get the stitches removed. I looked down at my hand and said ok. I signed and Cole and I walked out and captain was setting in the waiting room and when we walked over to him. I said I’m ready to go home. The captain said ok and Cole walked me out to the captain’s car. Then he turned and walked to his car while driving me home the captain brought up how long I was to be on vacation. I have decided that you are to be on a vacation for a month captain said knowing that I would do everything I could to make it less. I looked at him like he had just slapped me and I said a month why. Because I think that you need the time to heal and relax because you have gone through so much in the last few weeks. I said please don’t make me stay out that long please sounding like a teenager asking to go to a party knowing the answer but still hoping. The captain said No I have made my decision and from today on you are on vacation and I don’t want to see you hanging around the station for most of it got it. I didn’t answer I just crossed my arms and turned to look out the window pouting. The captain said fine if you want to act like that then think of it this way you are grounded for a month. I turned and glared at him and he said don’t make me ground you longer. I stopped glaring immediately. Captain drove the rest of the way in silence and he said before I closed my door don’t forget to relax. I closed the door and went inside. I looked at the time and it was still a few hours until Leslie got out of school. I went and sat on the couch and turned on the T.V. I was flipping through the channels when Cole walked in. I turned off the T.V. when he sat next to me. He said why didn’t you tell me how horrible your past was? I don’t like to remember it I like to pretend like it never happened. I said. He took my hand and said but it did and I never understood until now why you never let anyone get close. I sighed not wanting to talk about this but I know that it was time to tell Cole. I said ever sense I was 11 I have never let anyone get close so that if they left me or had to give me back I wouldn’t get hurt it would just be like any other day. Cole said but what about this job I know that you give your whole heart on every case if you couldn’t be a cop what would you do. I just looked at him I had never thought about it tears came to my eyes and I shook my head and said I don’t know. Cole said I’m sorry please don’t cry. I said I’m fine. Cole said can I ask you to do me a favor and don’t be afraid to say no ok. I shook my head yes and Cole continued I was wondering if you could tell me about your past the captain told me but I want to hear it from you. I said ok when I was 6 years old my parents were killed in a car crash and I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and when I got out I was put in foster care and for the next 5 years I would be put in 15 different homes. Every time I would be put in a new home a few days there something bad would happen like the getting robbed or a fire or then losing their job or something like that. When I turned 11 and stopped caring I was put in another home and they had their own business and everything was going great until I came and there business went broke and there other child got sick so I had to leave I stopped counting after my 20th home and the moment I turned 18 I join the police department. When I meet the Captain and he found out about my past he showed me what it was like to have a real parent and I grew up at the station. I had tears in my eyes trying my hardest to stop them from falling. I was afraid to look at him because I didn’t want him to think of me as broken or pathetic but when I got up the nerve to look up I started crying because he had pain in his eyes to. He pulled me into his arms and he said if you take a chance and let me in I promise with all I have that I will never hurt you. I started crying harder and I said I will try. He pulled back and kissed me and I asked are we dating again? Cole said I’m so sorry about that I was angry. He shook his head. I said I know and I was hoping that I could fix us. Cole said I’m still really sorry and I will make it up to you. Cole pulled me into a hug. Then I said the three words that I haven’t said in 20 years. I love you I said. Cole pulled back and looked at me like maybe he didn’t hear me right what he said. I said I love you looking into his eyes a little scared that he wouldn’t saw it back and I was vulnerable right now like I was every time I talked about my past. Cole looked at me and said I love you too so much. I kissed him relived that he felt the same way. After we pulled apart Cole asked so how long are you out for? I sighed and said that dad grounded me for a mouth. Cole said that’s good you can have some time to relax. I said why do I need a whole mouth to relax I mean I don’t relax I’m not programmed to relax. Cole said well you better start programming yourself to start. I sighed and said what I’m I going to do for a whole mouth. I don’t know but I know that you will think of something. Then he stood up and said I need to go back to work. I sighed and said ok I will pick Leslie up. He kissed me and then said have fun and relax just take it easy. I said I will try. Cole left and I decided that I could go for a run so I changed went outside and locked the door and was walking to the sidewalk when Cole’s neighbor Jamie was walking up the driveway holding to many bags and she started to drop one and I ran over and caught it before it hit the floor and she said thank you. I said sure then said here let me help and I took another bag from her so that she was holding two bags and I was holding two. Thanks she said. I followed her to her kitchen. I talked to her while she put her food away. So what are you doing home Jamie asked sitting down across from me. I said I was put on a vacation because I was stocked, attacked and I smashed a mirror I said holding up my bandaged hand. She said wow no wonder you were told to take time off how long are you out for. A mouth I said and sighed. She said well come over anytime and we could do things because it gets very boring around her by yourself. I smiled and said thanks and then I looked at the clock and it was time to pick up Leslie and I stood and said wow time flow I need to pick Leslie up. She said ok and then I said you want to come. She said sure I have nothing better to do. We left and when we got to the school we were a few minutes early so we waited outside the class and when the bell rang Leslie came walking out. When she saw me she ran and jumped into my arms. Mommy your all better she said I said baby ow and then Jamie took her from me and held her and I said my hand is still hurt I said showing her the big bandage. She looked at my hand and said sorry. I said its ok I will get the stitches out soon and then I will be all better. Her eyes grow really big and she said you had to get stitches. Yes I had a really deep cut on my hand I said. Did they use a needle and thread like my daddy use to fix my teddy bear when he got hurt and some of his stuffing came out. I said I guess so. Then we walked back to the car and when we got home Leslie ran inside once I unlocked the door and I said you want to come in for a cup of coffee? Sure she said and I made the coffee while she talked about her husband. We were sitting on the couch and we turned on a lifetime movie and Cole came home at the end and Jamie and I were both crying. When he saw us he said who died? We turned and I said were just watching a lifetime movie and it’s really sad. Cole rolled his eyes and said women. Jamie threw a pillow at him. Cole said well I’m going to check on Leslie and left the room so that he wouldn’t have to watch the rest of the movie. When the movie was over Jamie left but not before making lunch plans for tomorrow. When I closed the door behind her Cole walked back into the room and said Leslie had fallen asleep on our bed and Cole had brought her put her to bed. I kissed him and said how was your day anything interesting happen? No not really Cole said. Oh ok then I’m going to bed then I said and walked up stairs and changed into my sock monkey pajamas I didn’t feel like sleeping so I went into Leslie’s room and watched her sleep and she woke up and said mommy. I walked over and laid down next to her and she snuggled up to me and I wrapped my arms around her and fell asleep. When I opened my eyes the next morning there was a sticky note on my forehead and it said I took Leslie to school so that we didn’t have to wake you up love you Cole. I smiled and got up. I got dressed to go to the gym and ran into Jamie outside and she was going to the gym to so we went together and worked out for about 2 hours and then came home took a shower and went out to lunch. We talked all through lunch and I really liked Jamie. When finished lunch we didn’t want to go home so we decided to go through a walk in the park and we came across a few guys playing football even thought it was cold I nudged Jamie and said you want to play and she said you’re on. We walked over to the guys and said you have room for two more and they said sure and I went on a guy named Graham’s team and Jamie went on a guy named James’s team. We played and when Jamie’s team won the guys said wow you two are good for being girls. We smiled and said thanks and went home. We were laughing and when we got home we went to her house and just hung out until Cole came home. Jamie and her husband were separated and her two kids lived mostly with their dad because that is where they grew up and that’s were their friends are. The mouth went by very fast and I spent it mostly with Jamie and I also became friends with Jane Hunter from the lawyer’s office because she and Charlie were dating so we got to hang out a lot. I still had a few days left of my grounding and I was bored so I decided to go and see Cole at work because Jamie was out with her mom and so I was alone and when I got there was a screaming coming from inside so I went in slowly and when I was in the station fully I was walking by a window when I heard a shatter and something hit me hard and knocked me to the floor and landed on me. I hit my head on the floor. I looked up and Cole was on top of me and I said what happened. Cole got off me and said one of the interrogations went wrong and we were bringing him to the jail and he grabbed a chair and was swing it around and hitting cops and of course your timing was perfect, you were walking by the window the time he decided to throw the chair. I looked and there were big jagged pieces of the window on the floor where I was standing. I took Coles hand and said thank you. He turned and smiled and said anytime. Then we walked to help clean up the room and I asked where is the guy. We knocked him out and is now on his way to jail Ben answered. We cleaned up most of the mess before I noticed that Cole was bleeding from a cut on his back. I said Cole you’re bleeding. He said oh I did get hit. I said doesn’t it hurt? No not really Cole said I took his hand and we walked to the locker room and I helped him take off his shirt and when I saw the cut it wasn’t too deep and while I was bandaging it up I said you probably when you pushed me out of the way. Cole said well it doesn’t hurt really. I finished and Cole put on a clean shirt and I said how did you push me out of the way? Cole said when the guy was swing the chair I saw you coming and then I guessed what he was going to do so I ran out to you to worn you but I saw him throw the chair and I pushed you out of the way. I smiled and Cole said thanks and kissed me and I said sure any time. We walked out and a young looking lady came up to Cole and said you ok. Cole said yes. She turned to me and said and you are. Cole said this is Maddie. Oh you’re his partner and girlfriend I’m so glad you are back you and Leslie are the only things he talks about. I smiled and looked up at Cole you talked about me, who are you I asked. I’m Julie Smith his temp partner. I said oh well sorry to kick you out. She smiled and said no problem I think I’m going to move to New Jersey and get a job there then she turned and walked away I grabbed Cole’s arm and pulled him to the hallway and said why didn’t you tell me you had a temp partner I would have liked to know. Cole smiled and said I didn’t think that it was a big deal you don’t have to worry about a thing, I’m yours and I always will be. We walked back and the captain was making sure everyone was ok and then he turned to me and said even when you’re on vacation you manage to get involved in some way. I smiled and said it’s a talent. Well I think that you can come back to work if you want. I smiled and said thank you. Cole and I walked to our desk and I sat down at mine and looked at it and I was smiling until I felt like I was going to get sick so I jumped up and ran to the girls bathroom and got sick. When I came out of the bathroom Cole was waiting and he said are you ok and I said I’m fine. We walked back to our desks and he brought two cups of coffee back to his desk. He gave one to at me Maddie he began. Cole I’m fine I said I probably just ate something that didn’t agree with me I said not looking up from my work. That’s not what I was going to ask Cole replied. Yes it was I said. "Fine, I'm just worried about you," he said. I gave him a small smile "Cole I'm fine i promise," I said. Later that afternoon I was called into the captain’s office. I stood in front of his desk. I suddenly felt very dizzy. I grabbed onto the captains desk to keep from falling. Maddie he said. He grabbed me and helped me sit down. I’m fine I said. No you are not, you got sick earlier too he pointed out. Cole told you I asked getting a little annoyed. He has a right to be worried. He’s your partner Captain said. I’m calling the doctor now Maddie, Cole can drive you down and wait for you, I really don’t I began. No questions he interrupted me. Ten minutes later I was sitting in the passenger side of the squad car that both Cole and I shared. I really don’t need this I complained. It’s better to be safe than sorry Cole replied. Fine I said. The rest of the ride to the hospital was quiet. When we arrived Cole checked me in and we waited in the waiting room. The doctor examined me thoroughly. He took blood to run tests. When the doctor was done I was told to wait in the waiting room for the results. I walked out to the waiting room the minute Cole saw me he walked over to me and he asked how did it go. I don’t know yet they told me to wait here for the test results. If you want to go back to work I can take a cab back to the station I said. No I want to wait here with you Cole told me. Okay suit yourself I said picking up a magazine and began to read. Twenty minutes later the doctor called me back to his office and said I have the results from the test Maddie. Yes I said. You’re not sick he began. Then what is wrong with me I asked frustrated? You’re pregnant Congratulations, he said. What? I asked bewildered. Congratulations the doctor said again. Yes I heard that bit before that I said. You’re pregnant said the doctor. I walked out to the waiting room and Cole and I left. Cole helped me to the car. He could tell something was wrong but I wasn’t cracking yet. If Cole knew anything about me it was that you just don’t push me to tell you anything. He would just have to wait for me to tell him. Maddie what did the doctor say? He asked gently as he could while starting the car. Um, I just picked up a bug or something I said. A million thoughts flowed through my head about the baby. Do I get rid of it? No, Cole has a right to know. He would be a good father, heck he already is, I thought. I didn’t hear Cole call my name. Maddie he said I didn’t answer. Maddie he said louder I still didn’t hear him I was lost in thought Madeline he said even louder. Yeah I asked snapping out of my trance. You sure you are okay? Cole asked. Yeah I said. Back at the station, I returned to my work. As I filled out reports I noticed that while writing my left hand was resting on my stomach. Better be careful I thought Dad always knows when something is up with me. That night I didn’t sleep well at all. I thought about what to do with the baby and eventually, decided to keep it. I will tell Cole on Wednesday at dinner. Then next day at work I was a mess. I was unfocused, disorganized, and tired. I knew that Cole was worried about me so when I was around him I tried to act normal. I could tell that my plan wasn’t working at all. Maddie I need to speak with you now! Captain called. Yes? I asked once in his office. He closed the door and asked what is with you?  I’m just a little tired, that’s all I replied.  That’s all? I can’t have you working on the streets like this. It’s just unsafe for everyone he said. You’re right I’ll get more sleep tonight, and tomorrow I will be all better I said. You had better be Captain said as I left his office. I walked back to my desk and Cole was waiting and he said something is up with you and I wish you would please talk to me and I said I have to go somewhere I will pick up Leslie and see you at home. Cole said are you ok? I smiled and said yah I forgot I had a lunch date and I have to go. I walked out before he could ask any more questions and I walked out and was wondering what to do and I said I need to talk to a girl. I though well Jamie is busy and I was like Jane yes I pulled out my cell and dialed her number and she picked up on the first ring. Hello Jane answered. Hi I said. What’s wrong she asked. I said how do you know something is wrong. She said your voice I can tell so tell me what is wrong. I said can I come to office and she said well I’m on my way home so just come over to my apartment and we will talk there. I said ok see you there and I drove to her apartment and I was buzzed in and she was waiting at the door and when I was in she said what is wrong. I was suddenly hit with the feeling that I was going to be sick and I ran to her bathroom and she followed and held my hair back and when I was done. I washed my mouth out and said I’m sorry and Jane looked at me with a worried look on her face and she said please tell me what is happening. I didn’t answer and she said how long have you been getting sick. I sighed and said for the past week. She looked at me and said why haven’t you seen a doctor. I hate doctors I said and I went to see one today. What is wrong then she asked. I didn’t answer and she said fine lets go. I said where. She said to see my doctor. I said I don’t need to go see a doctor. She pulled me down the stairs and I sighed and walked over and got in the car and she said now tell me and if I don’t like the answer I will hold you down while the doctor looks at you and if your good maybe after we will get a ice cream. I said I’m not five and she looked at me and said I know but I want an ice cream. I took a deep breath and said I’m pregnant. What she said. I’m pregnant I said. Oh my god who is the daddy she asked. Cole is I said. Does he know she asked? No I said I needed to talk to you or Jamie first. She said well I think that we should go get ice cream and walk through the park and talk about it. We were driving and we were stopped at a red light and I was playing with the radio and the light turned green and I sat up straight we went and I saw a car coming at us and I said watch out but the car hit us on my side. The next thing I know I was waking up and we were still in the car and I looked around and Jane was unconscious and wrist hurt and my stomach hurt really bad. Jane I said Jane wake up come on Jane and then a really bad pain went through my stomach and I was crying “ow ow ow.” I cried. “Jane woke up” I said holding my stomach and crying. She opened her eyes and looked at me. “Maddie” she said. I looked up “are you ok” I said. “I think so how about you” she asked? “I hurt my wrist” and then another pain went through my stomach and I cried “my stomach.” “The baby” she said and then looked around and tried her door but it wouldn’t budge. Ow I cried she said its ok I will get us help and she got her cell and called 911 and when she hung up she said they will be here soon. I said your window she said yes and then grabbed her coffee thermist and smashed the window and climbed out and then I tried to move but another pain and I curled up on the seats in pain and she said come on baby you can do it just climb out. I looked up and said it hurts to much. No its ok please Maddie just try, try for your baby. I pushed myself up and climbed out the window with Jane’s help. The police and ambulence were arriving and I was feeling light headed and before I passed out I said call Cole. Ok Jane said and everything went black and the next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital room. The doctor was there and she said hello Madeline my name is Doctor Rollins do you remember you were in an crash, you are now at the hospital and you are going to be fine. I looked at my wrist and there was a noen pick cast on it and I said why pink and the doctor said Jane told us it was your favorite color. How is Jane I asked? She is fine you on the other hand have a fractured wrist and a couple of cracked ribs and you will be happy to know that the baby appears to be fine but we will know for sure later on and Congratulations. So the baby is going to be alright I asked worried? It seems like it the doctor said you will have to stay here for about 2 weeks because a rib is creaked right by you heart and we want to keep an eye on it she said. Then she left and then Jane came in and ran over to me and said Maddie your awake. I said yes how long have I been asleep? For two days Jane said. I said wow. She shook her head and then climbed on the bed and I asked where is Cole. I sent him home about 2 hours ago. I said oh. She said he will be back Leslie and he has been at your side this whole time. Its good you made him go home. How is Leslie I asked? She is worried about her mom. I smiled and said what about the other diver. He was killed instintley Jane said. How is little no name she said putting a hand on my stomach. I smiled and said it is fine said putting a hand over hers and then I started crying. And Jane pulled me into a hug and said what is it what’s wrong. I said I’m scared to tell him what if he doesn’t want it what if he leaves me. She said look at me. I looked up and she said now does Cole seem like the kinda guy that would do anything like that. I said no and she said I think it is just no name is messing with you hormones. She was smiling and I said thanks. She said I have something to tell you also. What I said sitting up feeling better. She said I’m pregnant. I said yeah right not funny. She said I’m not pulling a prank. The doctor checked me out and took blood and told me. I was shocked and I said how far along. About 8 weeks she said. And you didn’t notice it at all I asked. She said no I haven’t gotten sick once. I said wow. I’m 7 weeks I said. She was smiling a big smile and I said you are going to be a great mom and she said so are you. We hugged and then got comfortable on the bed we were both laying with our hands resting over our stomachs and watching T.V. When Charlie, Cole, and Leslie came into the room. We both sat up and Jane got off the bed and said Charlie I have to tell you something. He looked at her worried and Cole put Leslie on the bed. She sat next to me and Jane said there is nothing to worry about but you’re going to be a daddy. Charlie looked down at her stomach and smiled and said really and he said I’m going to be a daddy he pulled her into a hug and gave her a kiss and put a hand over her stomach and said Maddie I’m going to be a daddy. I heard I said smiling. Then Jane said lets go get some ice cream Leslie you want to come. Yes please she said and she stood and Charlie came over and picked her up and they left. Cole walked over to my bed and kissed me and said so are you okay. I said yes I’m fine. He said there is something that you’re not telling me I can see it in your eyes. I said well I lied. About what Cole said you’re not okay he looked at me worried. No I’m fine I lied to you when you asked me what the doctor said after we left the hospital I wasn’t sick. Cole was looking more and more worried and he said so what is going on with you will you please tell me he grabbed my hand. I said well I put his hand on my stomach. He said you’re pregnant and I started crying. He reached over and hugged me. I started to sob and Cole kissed me and asked why are you crying? Why aren’t you? I asked. I’m happy he said. You are? I asked I thought that you might leave. Maddie you listen good and hard, I will never leave you, I don’t care what happens, I love you he said. I love you too I said. So that’s what was wrong with you he said you had me worried. I’m sorry I said he lend over and said no madder how much Ben begs we are not going to name it after him ok. I laughed and said ok. He was smiling to and Jane and Charlie walked back in with Leslie on his shoulders. Charlie said Congrats Cole you are going to have another kid. Cole said and you are going to have your first. And then Jane said and Maddie and I will be demanding weird food so if we wake you up in the middle of the night asking for ice cream you better go out and get some isn’t that right Maddie. Right I said smiling with her. Cole and Charlie both looked at each other and then at us and Charlie set Leslie on my bed and she said so you are going to have a baby. Yes I said and so is aunty Jane. She crawled over and put a hand over my stomach and said hi baby. Jane said what do you want a little brother or sister? I don’t care Leslie said. I smiled and she said what do you want she asked me. I said I don’t care. Then she looked over at Jane and said what about you Aunty Jane what do you want. I would like a little girl I think but a boy would be awesome to. I looked over at Cole and asked what do you want another girl or a boy. Um he said well girls are so much trouble so I want a little boy. Leslie, Jane and I all said hey. He said what I’m just kidding. Jane said what about you Charlie? I don’t really care I’m just happy to be a daddy. After that the guys took Leslie home and Jane stayed with me and we discussed names and I decided that if it was a girl I would name her Trinity and if it was a boy Mac so that I could nickname him Macaroni and Jane decided that if it was a girl she would name her Casey and if it was a boy she would name it David. We fell asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night and Jane was gone but there was a note I opened it and it said

I had Charlie come and pick me up I will come and see you tomorrow and yes I wrote on you cast love you and little no name. Jane J.

I looked down at my cast and it said Pretty in Pink. I rolled me eyes and thought I’m hungry. I know the hospital kitchen would be closed but there has to be vending machines. I changed into some sweets and a sweatshirt I found in a cabnent. I was walking the halls looking for a vending machine when I ran into a little boy crying in the hall and I stopped and asked are you lost? He looked up and said I can’t find my mommy. I said well we will help you and then I asked how old are you he held up 4 fingers and I said we will find her I’m a police officer and it is my job to help. He stood up and lifted his arms up and I picked him up ignoring the pain of my ribs. We were walking to the nurses’ station and we heard someone crying up ahead and saying I don’t know he was just gone I have been looking for an hour. We rounded a corner and a women was crying in a chair talking to a nurse and when then little boy saw his mother he yelled mommy. The lady’s head shot up and she said Timmy and ran over to us and I handed him over and she hugged the little boy so hard and was crying I will never let you out of my sight never do that to mommy again. The little boy said sorry and she looked up at me and said thank you so much I was taking to a nurse and he just wondered off and I was looking for him everywhere thank you. I said no problem and I walked off to continue my search and I finally found one and I got one of everything and went back to my room and had a little picnic. The 2 weeks flew past and I was releced they took my cast off before I left. Cole and I were at home and talking on the couch and we fell asleep and then next morning on the way to work after dropping Leslie off at school stopped to get himself a cup of coffee. I was fast asleep in the passenger seat next to him he decided to surprise me with a glass of Apple juice. About 10 until we reached the station I started to walk up. Morning Beautiful Cole said. I smell coffee I said as I sat up straight. Sorry, that’s for me, but for you and baby, I got you Apple juice Cole said. Juice can’t even compare to the magical powers of coffee I argued. Until you have our baby, there will be no caffeine for you he said. It’s not fair, you get to do the easy part, and still get to drink coffee I said crossing my arms. Something tells me that not drinking coffee is harder for you than actually carrying the baby, if I could trade with you I would Cole said. Easy for you to say, that can’t be physically possible I said. You are not a nice person before your usual morning cup of coffee Cole said with a smile. You have known me long enough to know that that’s definitely true I said. Are you less tired now? I pulled out on the road and you were asleep Cole said. Sleeping on a couch is not very comfortable, especially if you’re pregnant, but you wouldn’t know about that I said with a smile. You’re right Cole said pulling into the stations parking lot. He opened my door for me and we walked hand in hand into the station and went right to our desks and got straight to work. That day was slow and I only got sick three times and Cole broke the rules and held my hair in the girl’s bathroom each time. When it was time to pick Leslie up from school it was my turn but Cole said that he would pick her up so I decided to tell dad about little no name. I walked and knocked on his door and he said come in. I walked in and closed the door and said hi daddy. He looked up and said what rule did you break? I said what makes you think that I broke a rule. He said because the last time you came in here and said hi daddy you had gone undercover without permission and almost lost your job, Cole’s as well. I haven’t done anything bad I promise I said. He said ok. I was just wondering if you are ready to be a grandfather. His eyes widened and he said you’re pregnant. I smiled and put my hand over my stomach and said yes. Its Cole’s right he asked. "Why do people keep asking me that yes it's his," I said. He was smiling and said you’re going to be a great mother. I frowned and he said what. I had tears in my eyes and he walked around his desk and pulled me into a hug and said tell me what’s wrong. What if I can’t do this what if I mess this kid up what if it hates me, You know what happens to parents when their kids hate them, the kids tie them to a chair and blugin them with a crow bar, set the house on fire and blame it on the old people across the street. I was in full freak out mode. He came over and put his hands on my sholders and said this kid is going to be a very lucky person. How do you know I asked? He looked into my eyes and said because it has you for a mother. You can do this I know you can and you have Cole and me and everyone else here behind you so there is no reason to freak out and I don’t think that Leslie would let the kid tie you to a chair and blugen you with a crow bar, set the house on fire and blame it on who he asked laughing. I laughed a little and I said the old people across the street. He hugged me again and said I’m really happy for you. I hugged him back and said thank you. He said well the next time you go to your doctors I want you to ask him how long until you have to go on desk duty. I groaned and said dad. He said if you don’t I will ask him myself. I sighed and said ok. I walked out and I heard Cole telling Leslie not to run down the hall but she didn’t listen and she saw me and ran and jumped into my arms and said hi mommy. I smiled and said hi baby have you had sugar. She smiled and said yes daddy gave me a candy bar to stop talking. I looked up and saw Cole he saw the glare and turned and started walking to the locker room as fast as he could without running. I set Leslie down go find Ben I said, Cole. I ran after him and caught him just outside the guy’s locker room door and I grabbed his shirt and said you gave her a candy bar to get her to stop talking. He smiled and said she was talking a mile a min. I don’t care. Hey captain Cole said looked past me. I turned and Cole went into the guy’s locker room. I said you think I won’t follow you. I walked through the door and only a few other guys were there dressing and when they saw me they said hey. I said like I haven’t seen you guys change at the gym. They shrugged and I walked to Cole who was changing his shirt. I said if you think that we were done discussing this then you are wrong. He sighed and said what so I gave her a candy bar what is the big deal. It’s not that you gave her the candy bar it’s that you gave her it to stop talking. He said I’m sorry ok I won’t do it again. I sighed and said whatever and turned but Cole grabbed my wrist. I turned and said don’t touch me and I twisted his arm behind his back and he said ow ok I’m sorry. He got out of the hold and held his hands up and said I’m not going to fight you. Why not I asked getting more pissed off. Because you’re pregnant he said. So you don’t think that I can take care of myself I was yelling and I heard the other cops leave and then Cole said no I know that you can but. But what I yelled. I heard the door open but I was too focused on Cole and then I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I twisted and punched not knowing and not caring who it was and the person caught my hand and I looked up Maddie I grow up with you I learned to block your punches Charlie said. My anger was gone and I started crying and Charlie pulled me into his arms and said damn hormones Jane is going through mood swings to. I’m sorry I said. I know I was coming to check on you and I heard the yelling and I know that you with the baby messing with you hormones and was not going to be pretty Charlie said with a little laugh. I pulled away and turned to Cole with tears in my eyes and said I’m so sorry. I will leave you to alone Charlie said and left. Once the door closed I felt my knees give out and Cole caught me before I hit the ground and I was sobbing in his shirt I’m sorry I said and he said Maddie, Baby I know clam down its ok. I looked up and he wiped the tears from my face and said I love you and I will take anything you can deal out. He pulled away and got down on his knee and pulled out a little box from his pocket and said Maddie I love you and I will forever will you marry me. I was speechless "Yes," I said the moment I found my voice he stood up and slid the ring on my finger and kissed me. After we pulled apart I hugged him and he hugged me back and over his shoulder I said I’m getting married and he pulled away and said yes you are. I smiled and looked at my ring again. Jamie helped me pick it out he said. I was going to respond when I heard yelling coming from hall. Cole and I ran out to see a guy screaming where is she tell me once he saw me he said Maddie. Cole pulled me behind his back and said who are you? Before he could answer Leslie came running out and said mommy what’s going on. No Leslie I cried and jumped for her. The man grabbed her and pulled out a knife and put it to her throat no one move he said. I stopped dead in my tracks. Leslie started crying and said mommy. I said let her go she is just a child. He smiled and said but she is your child. I said please just let her go and take me. Cole said Maddie no. I said shut up Cole. The man seemed to think about it and he said no. I said why are you here? Cole took a step and the man yelled I said don’t move and pushed the knife harder to Leslie’s throat and she cried ow. I was crying and I said please stop, I will do anything. He said ok follow me. Let Leslie go I said. He said I’m the one giving orders, Now I want none of you to move until we are gone other wise the girl is dead. The man started backing up and I followed. We walked out to a car and he pushed me in back and there was John Patterson. I froze and he said hello my love and he held a cloth over my mouth and nose and I tried not to breath but I had to take a breath and the cloroform knocked me out and the last thing I heard was Leslie said mommy. When I woke up my hands were tied and my legs also and I heard Leslie crying and I said Leslie baby. Mommy she cried and I tried to see where she was but I couldn’t see because the room was dark. I said baby where are you. She said I’m in the corner I’m tied to a pipe. She was crying. I tried to get the ties off my hands but they were to tight and then we heard footsteps and the door opened to revile John and then other man. John looked at me and said my love you are awake and I said I’m not your love how did you get out of jail? Well my love I have a lot of friends and they got me out he said and he smiled. I said Let Leslie go. John said why I thought you loved her. I do I love her with all my heart. Then why don’t you want her in our new life he said. I said please just let her go. Then he said I will think about it and they left. Once I heard they footsteps disappear. I sighed and looked around. Of what I could see we were in a basement. I was thinking when I looked down and saw that I still had my phone in my pocket. I wondered why they didn’t take it but then I realized that I didn’t care. Leslie I called. What she said she was still crying and I said baby I need you to do me a big favor. Ok she sniffled and I said I need you to be brave for me. Ok she said I could hear that she had stopped crying and I said ok now when they come back into the room I don’t want you to believe anything I saw ok. Why she asked. Because I’m going to get them to let you go but before they take you I’m going to ask if I could give you on last hug and when they hand you to me I want you to get my cell phone out of my pocket and when they drop you off where ever I want you to call Cole ok all you have to do is push 1 and then the green button ok. Ok she said but mommy I’m scared. I know baby but I want you safe and I know that you can do this ok I love you more than the world, more than my own life and I would do anything for you. I was crying and so was she and then I said do you remember what to do. She said I won’t listen to anything you say and then when they hand me to you I get your phone and hide it until they drop me off and then I hit 1 and then green button and that will call daddy. She was crying and I said very good baby then I heard the footsteps again and I said get ready and the door opened and John and the other guy walked back in and John walked over to me and said I have thought about it and I have decided that if Leslie means so much to you then she should stay here with us. I said but if I’m going to start a new life I don’t want any reminder of my old life. He smiled and said but don’t you want a child. I said she isn’t even my own I would rather have a baby that comes from me. John looked over to the corner where Leslie was and said but I thought that you loved her with your whole heart. And I said because I have never had my own child and I bet if we had a child I would love it more than I could ever love Leslie. John smiled and said very good point I’m glad you have finally realized that we were meant to be. I smiled and the whole time I was talking to him I had to try my hardest not to get sick. He said well then I guess we can let the kid go. I said before can I say goodbye. John looked at me and said why. I said because I want to say goodbye to my old life for good don’t worry honey. John smile widened and said ok and he went and untied Leslie and she ran over to me and John cut the ties on my arms and I said I will go bring the car around. Once they left I hugged Leslie and I pulled out my cell phone and put it in her overalls pocket and said remember 1 then green button and tell him where you are and remember I will always love you. I kissed her head and she clung to me and said I don’t want to leave you and I said Cole will save me don’t worry just be safe yourself. We heard someone coming back and it was the guy and I said just drop her off at the park on grand park ave. That is her favorite park and the guy said whatever and pulled Leslie from my arms and took her and John walked in and it took all my strength not to start sobbing. John smiled and I said I don’t feel well. He looked at me and said what is wrong. I said I think I’m going to be sick John cut the ties on my legs and I felt it cut me a little but I didn’t say anything he helped me to a bathroom and I got sick. John said I will get you some crackers or something. He left and I looked around and thought to myself if I keep getting sick long enough for Cole to find me John won’t make me have sex with him. I sighed and said what have I gotten myself into. I was crying when he came back with packet of saltines and a cup of water. He said what is it what’s wrong I said my stomach just hurt and I stopped crying immediately and I said I think I need to lie down and John said ok and walked me out of the bathroom and out to a hall way with a few closed doors and I asked what is behind those doors John said well he opened the door next to him and said this is my office and then he walked to the next door and said this is our room and then I asked what was behind the other two and he said well behind that one was a room for Leslie but I guess that it will just be our baby’s room when it grow up. I said what’s behind that one I asked pointing to the last door and he smiled and said that is a surprise for you. I smiled my fake smile and said what is it? He said it’s not done. I said please show me. He said fine and opened the door and I gasped because it was a nursery. I was starting to get scared and John said why don’t we try and make the baby now and I said I think that I’m going to be sick again. I turned and ran back to the bathroom and got sick again. I didn’t know if it was morning sickness or the thought of John. I sighed and I heard a door open again and I heard the other guys say I dropped her off at a park. Good John said and did you tell her that we would kill Maddie if she told. Yes the guy said. I spent about 4 hours in the bathroom getting sick and I was feeling weak John spent the first 2 hour with me and every time I stopped getting sick he pulled me to him and I was too weak to try and get away and I just wanted Cole and my dad. John had at one point had his hands on all over me and I felt myself getting sicker every time he touched me and then he left and said I’m going to go lay down. I was feeling so weak. There was a knock on the door and it was the other guy. He said his name was Tom and he was a friend of Johns and that John had gone to bed. What do you want I asked? He said I’m sorry. I glared at him and said you’re sorry for kidnapping my daughter and me and traumatizing her. “I called him the cop guy that tried to protect you.” He said. I looked up and said why. Because I feel bad for you and the little girl he said. I tried to get up but I just got to my knees when another dizzy spell hit and I fell back down and Tom said when he gets here I will let them in and tell he where to find you. I smiled weakly and then I got sick again. He left and I rested my head on the cold floor and then I heard cars out front and then I heard footsteps. I tried to sit up but I couldn’t and then I heard John yelling and a gunshot and the door opened and I heard Cole say Maddie. I groaned and said help me but it came out in a whisper and Cole got to his knees and pulled me up and the movement made me get sick again. Cole said sorry and after I was done I clung to Cole with all I had which wasn’t much and Cole picked me up and we were walking out and I had my head on his shoulder. When Cole walked over to the ambulance and tried to set me down I freaked out and I guess had an adrenelen rush because I held on to Cole with strength I didn’t know I had and screamed No don’t leave me. Cole held me close and said I’m right here I got you. Once I heard that all my strength went away. You promise not to let go? Sleep echoed in my words. I know that I was going to be out like a light in a matter of seconds and so did Cole. He chuckled and kissed me forehead and said I won’t let go. Good I said letting the darkness take me feeling safe in his arms. I had a nightmare and it was of Tom and this time he killed Leslie and I was trying to scream her name but I couldn’t find my voice. I was crying and then I heard a women’s voice say wake up Madeline your safe. My eyes opened and a nurse was standing there she had a hand on my shoulder and I freaked and moved away from the hand and cried don’t touch me get away from me. She said clam down Madeline its ok and then the doctor came in and said what is going on and the nurse said she was having a nightmare and I woke her up and she freaked out when I touched her. The doctor looked over at me and said Madeline I’m doctor Shannen, do you remember why you were brought here she asked. She took a step closer and flinched back and the nurse said you need to let me change you bandages and she reached for me and I yelled no stop please don’t and the doctor came over to help and I started screaming no please don’t touch me. I was fighting and we heard the door open and it was Cole and he ran over to my side and I reached for him and he climbed on the bed and pulled me into his arms and I was crying and he asked the nurse what had happened. The nurse said she was having a nightmare and I woke her up and when I touched her she freaked out and then the doctor came in and she wouldn’t let anyone touch her except for you. Could you give us a min Cole asked. The doctor and nurse shook their heads and left. Cole pulled away and put his hands on my face and I said Leslie where is she, is she ok. He smiled and said she is fine. She did what you told her and she called me and I went and found her. How are you Cole asked? I started crying and I said I was so scared. Cole pulled me close and I cried on his shoulder and I held him tight not ever wanting to leave the safety of his arms. When I finally calmed down I told Cole everything that happened and then I asked him how bad I was and Cole said well do you remember me coming and bring you out to the ambulance. Kinda I said. He said well after you past out they took you here and you have two cuts one on her wrist and one on your leg probley when they cut the ropes off and you have a few bruises and you were completely dehydrated and they said you were throwing up blood because of the stress and you should be fine in a few days. My eyes opened wide. I looked up at him and said I was throwing up blood. He looked at me and said you don’t remember. I shook my head and said after the third hour of getting sick I kinda was out of it. Cole said I kind of guessed that. Why I asked resting my head on his shoulder and he said because when I tried to put you down you freaked and clung to me and when I said I got you, you made me promise not to let go he said with a smile. I hit him and he said what was that for. You broke your promise when I woke up you weren’t there. He said I do have to ask you another question I said what. He said how did you get the cut on your stomach. What I asked I sat up and opened my hospital gown and there was a bandage and I said the baby. Cole said the baby is fine. My eyes were watering and I said I don’t remember. He pulled me back down so I was lying down again. There was a knock on the door and it was a guy nurse and he said I need to change you bandages and he walked over and Cole got off the bed and the man he tried to open my gown I pulled away and said please stop with tears in my eyes and the guy said it will only take a moment and he tried to open my gown and I yelled no stop and Cole caught the guy’s wrist and I turned my head away and closed my eyes tight and Cole said you need to leave I will do it. The guy said whatever and left the room and Cole said baby its ok he is gone its just you and me. I turned back and Cole said can I change the bandages. I shook my head yes and Cole said ok and he opened my gown and pulled off the bandage. I looked down and there was a cut right above my belly button and I asked how bad is it. He wiped it with a cloth doswed in ahochol and it hurt and I tried to keep in the pain but one cry came out and Cole said I know if it were me I would be cursing in pain. That was his way of telling me that I didn’t have to keep the pain in. He finished and went on to my wrist and that just looked like a scratch and the same with the one on my leg. When Cole was finished. I said can I see Leslie now? Cole said its past visiting hours and the only reason that I’m still here is because I’m really good at flirting with the nurse they didn’t care even after I told them we are getting married. I looked down at my hand and the ring was gone and I said my ring and Cole reached into his pocket and said Leslie had it. I looked at him how did she get it I asked? He said Leslie said Tom gave it to her, I guess John took it off and handed it to him and when he let her go he gave it to her and told her to put it in her pocket. I put it on and said I want to see my baby now. Cole said well what do you want me to do sneak her in here. No I said your right; hey can you go get me some coffee. Cole said no coffee while you’re pregnant. I sighed and said ok how about some apple juice. He smiled and said sure and kissed my forehead and grabbed a few dollars out of his wallet and set it back down to the rest of his stuff and left and once the door closed. I pulled out the IV and got a sweatshirt and sweat pants from the cabinet and Cole’s wallet and left the room. I saw the nurse coming so I turned down a random hall and I finally found the elevator and left the hospital. I got a cab it dropped me off outside of my house and I ran to the house and tried the door but it was locked and I turned to the planter next to the door and pulled out the key and opened the door and it was dark. I turned on the light and looked at the clock and it said 11:30. I saw Charlie and Jane had fallen asleep on the couch and I walked up the stairs and went to Leslie’s room and opened the door and she was asleep and she was holding her little purple bear and I closed the door and walked over. Her little star nightlight lit up the room enough for me to see. I walked over to her bed and climbed on and pulled her into my arms and I started crying. She started waking up and when she opened her eyes she said mommy. I hugged her tighter and said hi baby. She started crying and held on to me and she said I was so scared. I said I’m so sorry baby but we are safe now and you did great. Are you ok she asked? I smiled and said I’m fine you saved me. I planted little kisses on her cheeks and forehead and said I’m just glad you’re safe. She snuggled close to me and then she said daddy said that you had to be at the hospital for a few more days. I looked at her and said I snuck out to see you because I had to see you and make sure that you were ok. I’m fine she said but I do have nightmares about it. I kissed her head again and said I’m so sorry baby girl. We laid there in silence for a few moments when she asked do you have to go back to the hospital. Yes I wasn’t supposed to leave but I had to see you and I couldn’t wait I said hugging her tighter. Are you going to get in trouble she asked? I don’t think so Cole and captain will probley yell at me but nothing big I said with a shrug. Then we heard footsteps coming up the stairs and Leslie snuggled in closer to me and I hugged her then the door opened and Charlie and Jane walked in. Jane looked at me and turned to Charlie and said see I told you I heard voices. Then she looked back at me and said what are you doing here I know you are supposed to still be at the hospital. They let me out early I said with my innocent smile. Nice try but I know for a fact that they did let you out early Jane said. Fine I snuck out I said. What Charlie said? I snuck out I had to see Leslie I said. I could see that Jane understood but Charlie didn’t and he said why couldn’t you wait until tomorrow. Jane elbowed him and said they just went through a terrifying experience of course when she woke up she would want to make sure that Leslie was ok. But didn’t Cole tell you that she was fine Charlie asked? Jane said she had to see for herself, ok now just be quite. She came over and sat next to me on the bed. I sat up and Leslie sat in my lap and I said so how long do you think it will take Cole to get here and drag me back? Just then the front door opened and slammed closed and Cole said Madeline in an angry voice. I winced when I heard it and Charlie said umm about 2 seconds. When I winced Leslie cringed into me and I wrapped my arms around her and she hugged me tight. Jane moved closer to me and Charlie moved closer to closed door. We waited and the door opened and Cole walked in not looking happy at all. He looked around the room and said Jane please take Leslie in the other room so I can speak to Madeline alone. I flinched again when he said my full name because he only called me that when he was livid. Jane had to pull Leslie out of my arms and she was crying and they walked out of the room Charlie followed after and closed the door behind them. I looked down at the bed and I winced when he moved and he said look at me. I slowly looked into his eyes and he said what were you thinking. I had to know I had to feel her in my arms I said in a small voice. Why couldn’t you wait until I brought her in tomorrow he asked. You just don’t get it I said. What don’t I get he asked? I looked up at him with anger and yelled you have no idea what it feels like to have been kidnapped and to convince a crazy man to take your 6 year old baby girl and drop her off alone god knows where, he could have done anything to her anything and it would have been my fault I convinced him to let her go, you have no idea what I was feeling not knowing if she was safe the whole time I was there. I was crying and Cole walked over and put a hand on each of my shoulders and said she is safe because of you because of you she is here safe, you gave her the strength to do something someone twice her age would have a problem doing. But for the whole 4 hours I was sitting in the bathroom that is why I was getting sick because I didn’t know, so that is why I had to see her and hold her in my arms because if something happened to her… I couldn’t finish my sentinse and I ran to the bathroom and got sick. Cole was right behind me are you ok he asked? I’m fine little no name likes to make me get sick I said. I’m sorry I said looking up at him. He didn’t look mad anymore and he held out his hand and I took it and he helped me up and I washed out my mouth and we walked back to the bed he sat down and I sat next to him and he said I’m sorry too. I said you should be its your fault I think that little no name has to much of your personality. Cole smiled and said I don’t like you getting sick. Yes I know but you mess with my insides by just looking at me. He kissed me and then I laid back on the bed and Cole said oh no you little trouble maker are going back to the hospital. No I said. Cole stood up and said come on. I crossed my arms and said no I’m not going back. Cole said stop acting like a 5 year old and get up. I stuck my tounge out at him. He said there is the maturity that I was looking for. I smiled and Cole said fine and called for Charlie my eyes widened and Charlie came into the room and said yes. Cole said she wont get up to go back to the hospital. Charlie smiled and walked over to me and I said I wouldn’t touch me if you know what’s good for you. Charlie’s smile just got bigger and he grabbed my arm and yanked me up and the second I was standing he grabbed me and throw me over his sholder and started walking down the stairs. Put me down I said. No Charlie said laughing and I tried to fight but it was hard and then I heard Jane say what’s going on. Cole said she was acting like a 5 year old and she wouldn’t get up to go back to the hospital so I had to get Charlie to help and I said put me down. Leslie was laughing and she said mommy you should listen to daddy next time. I said Leslie your daddy and uncle are mean. She was still laughing and I said fine I’ll go if you put me down. Charlie looked at Cole and he shook his head yes and Charlie set me down and I hit him and forgot how hard his arms are and winced but tried to hide it. Charlie said you have to stop that it hurts you more than me and I said you don’t want me to hurt you. Leslie walked over to me and held her arms up and I picked her up and hugged her close and said she is coming. Maddie honey can I please have a word with you Jane said to me and she turned and walked into the kitchen and I followed. She sat on one of the stools and said Leslie can’t be there past visiting hours. But I need her there I said. Jane walked over to the fridge and pulled out a popsicle and I got up and set Leslie on the stool and Jane handed her the popsicle. Jane turned to me and said I know that you are scared to let her out of your site and I shook my head, tears coming back to my eyes and I put my hand on Leslie’s head. Jane said I’m not going to let anything happen to Leslie you can trust me, Charlie is here to and we will guard her with our lives. Jane put her hands on my shoulders and I looked at her and she put her forehead to mine and she whispered I will protect her I promise and I said ok and she hugged me and I hugged her back and when we pulled apart. I turned to Leslie who had managed to get the grape popsicle all over her mouth and I walked over and got a paper towel and got it wet and grabbed a towel and wiped her mouth and then dried it and she smiled and I said I love you. She hugged me and said I love you more. I kissed her head and handed her to Jane and kissed Jane on the cheek and walked out to the living room where Charlie and Cole were sitting of the couch and Charlie was showing Cole a bruse that Jane had given him when she was emotional. I said ok I’m ready to go. Cole looked up and smiled and said it’s just for a few days and I will bring Leslie in the morning. I said I know and I walked over and when I past Charlie he slapped my butt and I turned and said You’re just lucky that hitting you hurts my hand more then it hurts you. Cole walked me to the car and opened the door for me and then walked around the car and got in and drove to the hospital and when we got there he walked me back to the room. I asked how much trouble he thought I was in and Cole said not that much but we both stopped dead in our tracks just inside the door because right next to the bed was the captain and he didn’t look happy. He had his arms crossed. Hi daddy what are you doing here I asked? They called me when you did you little disappearing act he said. I walked over to him can you please stop trying to give me a heart attack he said. I’m really sorry I just had to see Leslie I said. He said that’s fine but when they called me and said that you dissappeard and I didn’t know what to think. He turned to Cole and said why weren’t you watching her? Cole said she asked for apple juice and I went to go get it for her. Dad looked at me and said did you plan this or just make it up as you went along. “The second one,” I said looking down He said well I could have seen that answer coming. I started crying and said daddy and he said Cole please give us a min. Cole left and daddy pulled me into his arms and he said I’m not that mad. Its not that I sobbed. What then he asked? The whole time I was with John I thought I was never going to see you again and I just couldn’t handle that, I didn’t want to lose you I said. He pulled away and said look at me and look at me good I’m not going anywhere I’m here to stay. I tried to smile and said I have never been that scared. He pulled me into another hug and said well he will never bother you again. I said yes he will, he got out of jail once and will again he will never be out of my head until he is dead. Dad pulled back and said Cole didn’t tell you. Tell me what I asked. I shot him he said. My eyes grow big and I said you killed him. He came at me with a gun and I fired first and don’t get me wrong I’m glad he is dead dad said. I hugged him and said thank you. One I never want to hear you thank me for killing someone and second your welcome dad said. I laid down on the bed and he tucked me in and kissed my forehead and said I love you. I love you to daddy and he was about to leave when he said I almost forgot he reached down to a bag right by his feet and pulled out a teddy bear and a bag of gummy bears and handed me the bear and put the candy on the table. He kissed my forehead again and then said I will see you later sweetheart. Ok daddy and he left and Cole walked in and said nice bear. I kissed it and said I know. Cole said is there room for me on the bed. I moved the bear and Cole climbed on and then the doctor walked in and said Maddie your back from your jail brake. I’m sorry I said. No problem you can leave tomorrow but I want you and your daughter to go see a therapist she said. Ok I said. She left and Cole pulled me into his arms and I fell asleep and had another nightmare and this time Cole woke me up and I opened my eyes and looked around in a panic thinking I was back with John Patterson, I realized were I was and turned to bury my face in Cole’s chest knowing that he would make me feel better. Cole said are you ok? I said it was just a nightmare. Cole said Leslie is having nightmares too. I said I know Leslie told me before you came in. He said I’m sorry but I wanted to make sure that you get better. I kissed him and said I know and I’m fine, Leslie and I are safe and John will never show his face again, Life is perfect right now. Cole smiled and said your right life is perfect, try and get some rest I will be here keeping you safe. I fell back asleep and slept free from nightmares. When I was released from the hospital. Cole took Leslie and I to see a shrink and he said that we were ok and that we only time can heal our scars. I had to try so hard not to laugh at that. When we left we took Leslie back to the station and she took a nap in the cribs. Over the next 6 months Cole and I got married, so did Charlie and Jane and we both got huge. Jane and I were put on bed rest for the last few weeks so we decided to be on bed rest together and the ironic thing was that we went into labor one day apart from each other. When Jane’s water broke it was around 12:00 am and we were sleeping and she woke me up and we were both excited and she was cursing like a sailor when her first contraction hit. Charlie drove her to the hospital. Cole wouldn’t let me go because the doctor said that I couldn’t get out of bed unless I had to go to the bathroom. The next afternoon Cole and I were lying in bed watching TV and Cole was rubbing my stomach when my water broke. Cole drove me to the hospital and he drove like a mad man cutting off a lot of cars and I keep screaming if you want to have the baby now that was the way to do it. When we got to the hospital they checked me into a room and I was cursing and threating to kill Cole when I got my gun back because he was the one who did this to me. I was like Dr. Jekle and Mr. Hyde. Finally after 8 hours of painful contactions Trinity Rose Thomson was born. After the nurse cleaned her up and handed her to me all I could do was stare at her. Wow I said. You took the words right out of my mouth Cole said. Cole called captain and asked him to pick up Leslie from school and bring her here so that they could meet the new baby. While I was watching the baby sleep Jane and Charlie came in the room and Jane got on the bed with me and Charlie put David John Hill in her arms and they guys asked if they could get us anything and we both cried coffee at the same time. They laughed and said we will be right back. Wow Jane said. I know I said. We are moms Jane said. I know I said. We didn’t say anything else we just relaxed in the comfortable silence and looked at our babies. When the guys returned they asked if they could hold the babies and we handed then over while we drank our coffee. After a while Jane and Charlie went back to their room. Leslie and dad showed up a few minutes after that and Cole had handed me Trinity back so they walked over to the bed and looked down at the chubby little bundle in my arms. I smiled at her and her eyes looked around. Cute Leslie said. I smiled and said what do you think daddy. He smiled and said she is pretty and looks just like you so I know she will grow up to be beautiful. I smiled and said daddy would you like to hold her? His face lit up and he said I would love to. I handed her over and he held her for about 20 minutes. Until he said I have to go and he handed me Trinity. Leslie was lying next to me. I held her and said what do you think Leslie. I like her she said. Mr. Captain are you going to take me home Leslie asked while he was getting his coat on. He said no sweetie I’m taking you to uncle Bens house and you can call me grandpa too you know. I love you mommy she said she kissed my cheek and then carefully put a hand on Trinity’s head. I kissed her head and Cole walked over and picked her up from the bed and hugged her and said be a good girl. He kissed her head and she walked over to dad’s side. They left and I looked down at Trinity and she locked eyes with me. I smiled and said she is perfect. Cole came over and laid on his side next to me and I said lay on your back. He moved so that he was on his back and I carefully set Trinity on his chest. Cole put his arm around me and set a hand on Trinity’s back. Look what we did I said. He smiled and said I know. I fell asleep and the last thing I saw was Trinity. When I woke up the next morning Trinity was gone and I woke up Cole in a panic. What he said and I said Trinity is gone and Cole said the nurse took her to the nursey last night. I said I miss her. Cole kissed my head and said when the nurse comes back we will ask her to bring her back. We talked for 5 mins and the nurse walked in and when I said can I have Trinity back. The nurse smiled and said I’ll go get her. She left and came back with what seemed like hours but was really like 10 mins and said I think she missed you. She handed Trinity to me. I said hi baby. The nurse left and I just laid against Cole and stared at her I could spend all day just watching her. I smiled and she just stared at me and then looked at Cole. She had Cole’s eyes but she looked just like me. I sighed and said right now life is good. Cole laughed and said just good. Fine I said it would be perfect if Leslie was here too, but this moment is great. I turned my head and said I love you. He kissed me and said love you more than anything. I had to stay in the hospital for another day and then they let me go. I was tired and when I got home Cole let me sleep while I slept. After I woke up I walked out to the living room and Cole was asleep with Trinity asleep on his chest and Leslie asleep on the back of the couch. I sighed and then went and got a camera and took a picture. The flash made the baby cry and I went over and picked her up before she woke up Cole and Leslie. Once she saw me she calmed down and I smiled and said hey my little June bug. She smiled. I went to the nursery and sat in the rocking chair and just sat there and rocked her and she fell asleep again. I just watched her sleep and then I heard a little voice behind me say mommy. I turned my head and got up and laid the baby in her crib and sat back in the rocking chair and opened my arms and Leslie got onto my lap and snuggled up to me and said are you happy. Very right now my life is perfect. I kissed her head. You wont love me any less will you she asked? I said sweetie I will love you the same. Good she said and then closed her eyes and fell asleep and I got up and brought her to her room and tucked her in. I walked back to the baby’s room. Cole was standing there watching the baby and I walked over to the rocking chair and said you want me to rock me to sleep too. What Cole asked? Well I rocked Trinity and Leslie back to sleep when they woke up and I was wondering if you wanted to be rocked to sleep. He walked over and pulled me up and sat then he pulled me into his lap and I snuggled up and he slowly rocked me and I was drifting to sleep when he said I love you. I know I said and then I fell asleep. I was woken up when I heard Trinity crying and I got up and started walking to her room when the crying stopped I went and the door was open and Leslie had climbed into her crib and was rubbing the baby’s tummy and saying its ok. I smiled and watched. Leslie looked up and smiled. I walked into the room and walked over to the crib and said good job. Leslie smile widened and she said I saw the nurse doing that to the babies at the hospital and I tried it and it worked. I picked Trinity up and said she loves her big sister. I walked over and changed her. Leslie got out of the crib and said can I feed her. I said sure. We walked out and I got her a bottle and then sat on the couch. Leslie sat on my lap and I helped her hold Trinity while she feed her and then after the bottle I burped her and then rocked her baby to sleep. After I put her back to bed I went and asked Leslie if she knew where Cole went and when I asked she just shrugged and I grabbed the phone and called his cell phone. It was disconnected. I tried again just in case I go the number wrong but it was disconnected. What the hell I said. Leslie get dressed I said. Ok she said I went and changed into jeans and t-shirt and went and got Trinity’s bag ready. I got the baby into the car seat and Leslie was waiting in the living room. I tied her shoes and we left. I buckled Trinity in the car and got in the driver seat and said Leslie you all buckled in. Yes she said and I drove to the station. I got out and got Trinity and we went in. Once inside I walked over to our desks. Cole’s desk was totally clean which it was never ever since I started. I said Leslie go set at me desk and I called Ben over and said where is Cole. He shrugged and said I haven’t seen him. I said please watch Leslie and the baby. Ok he said I handed him Trinity and walked over to dad’s office. I knocked and he said come in.  I opened the door and closed it and said where is he. He didn’t look up and said I’m sorry Maddie. What I said. He went undercover dad said still not looking at me. I said why now what the hell why would he chose to do this now. He had no chose they needed him because he had already worked with them on the case before dad said. What case I asked? He has to go undercover and hopefully help take down a huge drug dealer dad said. I had tears in my eyes because he could get killed. I said how long. Dad sighed and said they said as long as it takes. I started crying and said why. Dad got up and walked around the desk and said he will be back before you know it. I do have some other news dad said. What is it I asked? When you come back to work I have to assign you a temp partner. My face drop and I said why. Because I have to he said. I said I will be back in a few days. Maddie why don’t you take a normal maternity leave he said. Because you know that I go crazy if I’m not working. I walked back out to the desks and Leslie was beating Ben at a computer game. I walked over and sat at Cole’s desk and I opened his desk drawers. They were empty. I opened the last one and there was a note it had my name on it. I picked it up and put it in my purse and said ok its time to go. Leslie got up and said where is daddy. I got the baby and said come on and we left and in the car I said Cole went on an assiment and will be gone for a little. She said I will miss him. Me to I said. When we got home Leslie went to her room and I went and feed Trinity and burped her and put her to bed and went to my grabbing the baby monitor on the way. I closed my door why Cole I said to no one. I sat on the bed and got the note out of my purse and looked at it. I flipped it over to open it and it had writing on it and it said check you messages before you open me. I grabbed my cell phone and it said I missed a call from Cole and I had a new message. I checked it and it said that Cole called early this morning I listened and the message said I’m so sorry to do this to you but the FBI needs me for an important job and I tried to get out of it but I couldn’t. I’m so sorry and I will be gone for a while and I just don’t want you to worry, I promise that I will be home safe and sound. I love you and tell Leslie and Trin that I love them so much. Once again I will be home as fast as I can and I love you with everything I have.  I sighed I love you to Cole I said. I opened the envelope and there was a note and his wedding ring. I opened the note and he had written

Maddie I love you and I know that you listened to my message so you know why my desk is all cleaned out. It’s weird I have never cleaned my desk. I’m sorry again and I will miss you every day. I love you more than the world. Keep my ring safe and I will be back for it. And then under that he wrote love, your prince. I smile and said please god let him come home ok.

                   Cole had been gone for over five mouths and it was hell. I was stuck with a guy who was a control freak and of course named John. He was stupid and almost got us shot a bunch of times and I had to stop myself many times from shooting him myself. Leslie was missing Cole a lot like me. Trinity was getting very big and she could hold her head up now by herself. After the fifth mouth I was starting to get worried that Cole wasn’t coming home. The FBI wouldn’t tell me anything about where he was. The next five mouths weren’t any better he missed Leslie’s birthday and Mr. Control freak had started to hit on me and I was afraid that Cole was dead.

                     Today is my birthday. I was at my desk ignoring the guy starting at me from the desk across from me. Maddie why won’t you go out with me he asked? Because I don’t like you and I'm married I said. He smiled and walked around and was leaning on my desk when he said who knows maybe Cole will never come back. My headshot up I grabbed my gun and pointed it at him. He put his hands up and started backing away. You goddamn scum bag I said. He said hey calm down. I stood and started walking towards him I said if you ever say anything like that again I will kill you myself. He said a little help here to the other cops. They just looked at him because none of them liked him and they were too scared to cross me these days. Maddie dad called from behind me. I put my gun down and turned. He pointed to his office and said now. I like them feisty John whispered and I heard the other cops whisper he has a death wish. I turned and punched him across the face and he fell. I started walking to the captain’s office when I heard Ben say nice punch. I smiled and when I got inside dad closed the door and said what the hell was that about. He won’t stop asking me out and when I said no he said that he wouldn’t tell and maybe Cole wouldn’t come home and I just snapped, I’m sorry I said. You have to learn to control your anger, now that I’m done being the captain I will be your dad do you want me to talk to him Dad asked? I smiled and said no I can handle him myself, I’m sorry I just want him back. Dad said I know. I left the office and John was back sitting at his desk and I went and sat at mine. About 5 minutes later my phone rang and it was Leslie school saying that she was sick and I needed to come and get her. I’ll be there right away I said. I stood and got my jacket and told dad that I had to go and he said ok. I drove to Leslie’s school and walked into the office and Leslie was in the nurse’s office lying down. I walked in and went up to the bed and said Leslie baby what’s wrong. She said my tummy and my head hurts. I said ok baby lets go pick up Trinity and go home. She just got up and followed me out. I signed her out. We drove to the day care and I pick Trin up and drove home. When we got there I made Leslie lay down and I feed and put Trinity down for her nap. About an hour later my cell rang and the baby woke up crying. I answered the phone and said hold on to whoever was there before they could say anything and pick Trinity up. She calmed down and I went to the living room where Leslie was laying on the couch watching some cartoons. I said hello after I put Trinity in her baby bouncer. Maddie its Ben I we need you to come in right now He said. Ben I have a sick kid here I can’t I said. It’s important we just got a case and the witness won’t talk to any men, we need you she can help put this guy away. I sighed and said what is the case. Ben said a guy named Joe Hannsen murdered a women and her sister witnessed it and she is the only witness please Maddie we need you. I said ok I will be right down just stay away from the sister ok. Thank you he said before we hung up. I walked back to Leslie and said I’m sorry baby but we need to make a stop by the station. She slowly stood and I picked up Trinity and grabbed her baby bag and took Leslie’s hand and we walked to the car. We drove to the station. We walked in and I was looking at Leslie making sure she was ok when suddenly everyone yelled surprise. I froze and the baby giggled. I looked around with wide eyes the station was decorated with streamers and balloons and there was a desk with presents on it. I said guys you shouldn’t have. Everyone was there Charlie, Jane, and even Jamie. Ben walked over and took the baby. I said how did you guys do this. Ben said you will find out but now its cake time. I said I wish we could stay and party but Leslie is sick and I don’t want to spread it. Ben smiled down at Leslie and asked how do you feel? She smiled and said I’m fine. They turned to me with their big smiles and my mouth dropped open and I said Leslie. She walked over and said happy birthday. I picked her up and hugged her and said when we get home you are in big trouble. She would have taken me seriously if I weren’t laughing while saying it. I put her down. She ran over to Ben. I looked around and noticed that Dad and John weren’t there. Where are the captain and John I asked? Ben laughed a little and said John had a little accident and is at the hospital right now and the captain is out getting you a gift. I sighed and said why he knows I don’t want anything. I know but we still like to dad said from behind me and I turned and smiled. He was holding a wrapped present. I said thank you guys. They led me to a table and sang happy birthday to me and I blow out the candles. After that I opened the presents. While I was opening presents John came back from the hospital. I looked up when he walked in and I gasped. He had stitches on his face, a black eye and his arm was in a sling. What happened to you I asked trying not to laugh? I fell he said. And he handed me a wrapped box and left. Thank you I called. After I was sure he couldn’t hear me I laughed and said guys what really happened to him. Just remember there are people that love you dad said. I said I know and went back to opening presents and after I had finished and thanked everybody. I stood and said well that was fun but I want to go home. Ben said but the party’s not over. I said guys I’m tired and I just want to go to sleep. There is one more thing that you have to do before you can leave Ben said. I walked over and got my coffee mug and filled it with coffee and said what. Ben smiled and walked over to me and covered my eyes. He slowly walked me somewhere and said ok ready. I said Ben please. Take a deep breath he said. I sighed and took a deep breath. Ben moved his hands and there standing in the door of the squad room was Cole. My eyes widened Cole I whispered. He smiled. I dropped the coffee mug and ran to Cole. He opened his arms and I jumped into them and wrapped my legs around his waist and hugged him tight. I was crying and Cole said I’m back. I hugged him tighter afraid that I would wake up any moment and he would disappear. He said I missed you. He put me down and I still had my arms around him and I kissed him. Once we pulled away I asked how did you know about the party. He smiled and said I put it together. I looked at him shocked and said when did you get back. This afternoon I went to Leslie’s school and told her about the idea I had and she played the star. He looked around me and at Leslie. She was beaming and he knelt and she ran into his arms and they hugged. He picked her up and said very good job. I was speechless. Then Cole said where is Trinity? Ben walked up carrying her he handed her to me. Say hi to your daddy I said. She looked at Cole and smiled and giggled. Cole’s eyes widened and he said wow Trinity you have grown. He set Leslie down and I handed him Trinity. I picked up Leslie and she hugged me. I hugged Cole and Dad said smile we turned and smiled and he took the picture. Cole said lets go home. I nodded and then we left after we got all the presents in the car and on the way home Leslie and Trin fell asleep. When we got home Cole helped me put Leslie to bed and then I watched him put Trinity to bed. After he was done Cole walked over to me and put his arms around me and we walked to the bedroom and changed into pajamas. I crawled onto the bed and Cole sat next to me and pulled me into his arms and said Happy Birthday baby. I snuggled as close as I could to him and started crying. He said what’s wrong and I cried I just missed you so much and I was afraid you weren’t coming home. He hugged me tighter and said I made a promise. I took his wedding ring off my thumb and handed it to him and he put it back on and said I promised I would come back for this. Leslie missed you so much I said. He said I know when I walked into her class and she saw me she jumped up right in the middle of the class and jumped into my arms and hugged me until I had to leave. Did she get in trouble I asked? Cole said no I explained to the teacher that I had been gone for 10 months and 5 days. I laughed and said you keep count. He smiled and said the whole time I was away from you I just wanted to come be here and see Trinity and Leslie grow I mean Trinity is almost a year old and I missed it all. I said yes but I’m just happy that she will not remember it. He said yes but Leslie will. I sighed and said she doesn’t care she is just happy that you are home. He said I’m never leaving you again. I said I can live with that. I held him and said I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since you left. Me ether Cole said closing his eyes. I snuggled closer and right before I fell asleep I said please promise me that you will still be here in the morning. I felt him kiss my head and he said I promise. I fell asleep with a smile on my face in the safe strong arms of my prince.

The next morning I woke up and opened my eyes and I was alone and I was afraid that it was all a dream and then I heard laughing coming from the kitchen. I got up and dressed into a tank top and sweat pants. I walked out and stood in the doorway to the kitchen where Leslie was helping Cole make breakfast and Trinity was watching from her high chair. Leslie was sitting on the counter mixing a bowl of pancake batter and Cole said what color should we make them. Leslie said um…orange. Cole said orange you want orange pancakes. Leslie smiled and said orange is my and Trin’s favorite color. Cole smiled and said well if its orange pancakes you want its orange pancakes you’re going to get what do you think my little June bug Cole asked Trin. She giggled and smiled. I turned and was about to go pick up the living room when I felt arms wrap around my waist and Cole kiss my neck and said what about you do you want orange pancakes. I smiled and said what I want can’t be discussed in front of our children. Cole laughed and said well Captain gave us the day off and he said John will be gone by today to. Then it clicked in my head and I turned in Cole’s arms and said did you have anything to do with John’s accident. Cole smiled and said "Ben told me what he put you through and I just had a talk with him where no one could see us, it’s not my fault that he is clumsy and fell multiple times," Nice I said. He let me go and walked back into the kitchen and finished making breakfast. After we were done Leslie said mommy I’m going to be late for school. I looked up and said you’re not going to school today. She smiled and said cool. After we ate breakfast we all went into my bedroom laid down. When Cole laid down on his back I put Trinity on his chest like the day she was born. The rest of the day was perfect we just spent it watching movies and being together. Right now I would say my life is perfect. The next day we dropped Leslie off at school and Trinity off at daycare we drove to work. We walked in hand in hand and John was still there getting the rest of his stuff. He had one more box. When he saw me he smiled but when he saw Cole he looked down. He grabbed the box and walked out of the station. I smiled and said wow he must be terrified of you. Cole smiled. Is there any other details that you want to tell me I asked Cole? I also told him that if he ever bothers you again that a fractured wrist isn’t all he was going to end up with. Cole I can’t believe that you threatened him he could press charges I said. Ben then said no I told him that it would be in his best interest not to tell anyone. I laughed and said guys I love you. The next hour was uneventful we were all bored. I got up and was walking to the coffee machine when a paper ball flow right past my right shoulder. I turned in the direction the paper ball came from and Cole was trying really hard not to laugh. I throw the paper ball back and I hit him square in the forehead. Hey I didn’t hit you Cole said. But you tried I said turning and started walking back to the coffee and then another paper ball hit me in the back. I turned and this time it was Ben. I glared and he was starting at me trying not to laugh. If I don’t make it to the coffee machine and someone throws something at me you are all going to get coffee poured on your heads I said. I walked and got my coffee and then sat back down at my desk. I pulled out my extra notebook and started drawing in it. Cole tried to look at what I was drawing but I cover it so he couldn’t see it. The only reason that I didn’t let them see is because it bugs them so much. Ben then tried to walk behind me and look but I closed it and I know you were going to try that I said. Then the captain walked out and said have you all finished your paperwork. We all said yes. When he went back into his office. I can’t believe he believed us I said looking over at Ben. Cole grabbed the notebook from under my hands and tossed it to another cop and it turned into a game of monkey in the middle. I guess Cole got tired of just tossing so he tripped me not hard to hurt me but I was still on the ground. Ben opened the notebook and laughed. He past it to Cole and Cole started laughing. I started banging my head on the desk behind me. I didn’t know that you had a creative side Cole said. I was still banging my head when Ben said I would stop doing that before the captain comes out. I smiled and said can I have my notebook back. Cole walked over to me and extended his hand and I grabbed it and he pulled me up and he wrapped his arms around me and said you’re a good artist. I said not really I use to draw a lot when I was little ask Charlie about it and he could go on and on. He kissed me and then we went back to our desk. I got out the little football from my bottom drawer. Ben think fast I said as I throw it to him. He turned him head just in time and caught it and then we spent the rest of the day passing it back and forth to each other. When it was time to pick up Leslie I left and got her and Trinity and brought them back to the station and dad watched Trinity, which he never minded while we worked and Leslie played computer games with Ben. After work Cole took Trinity, Leslie, and I out for pizza and then to the park. I said I think that the kids are getting a little tired Leslie was falling asleep in Cole’s arms and Trinity was already asleep in my arms. We went home and put the kids to bed. After that Cole came up to me and said I remember you saying something about doing something the kids couldn’t hear. He kissed me and we backed into our bedroom and Cole closed the door with his foot.

                I was in my bedroom and I was wearing Cole’s shirt and my sweats. I looked around and it felt weird. Then Leslie can into the room and she had blood on her like the day when she hugged me and my blood got on her. I walked over to her and asked what happened. She said the bad man is back. I said what bad man. Suddenly she looked mad and she said it’s your fault. What’s my fault I asked getting more and more scared? She said follow me. I followed her out to the living room. Cole was there John Patterson was holding a gun to Cole’s head. But your dead I said. He smiled and said you can’t kill me I will always be with you. Cole I said. He had the same look he had on his face when he got mad at me in the hospital. It’s all your fault Cole said. Why did you bring this on us Leslie asked? John then said I told you we should have been together. I was sobbing and then I looked behind John and Cole and there was Trinity’s crib. Trinity I said. John laughed and said I killed her. I was crying and I dropped to my knees and asked why? Because she wasn’t ours John said. Then I heard a bang and I looked up as Cole fell to the ground. No I cried then the gun was pointed at Leslie and I tried to move in front of her but I couldn’t move. Then I heard the bang and she fell I crawled over to her and she said it’s your fault mommy. I was sobbing and then I saw John moving towards me No I screamed. Maddie Cole voice said wake up, come on sweetheart wake up. My eyes snapped open and I looked around and Cole was looking down at me and he said you were screaming no. I was still crying. I jumped and grabbed Cole’s shirt. I pulled it on and ran out of the bedroom. I ran to Leslie’s room and she was sitting up in bed rubbing her eyes. I ran over to her and picked her up. What’s wrong mommy she asked sleepily? I kissed her head and then went to Trinity’s room and looked in her crib. I set Leslie down and picked Trinity up. She was still sleeping and I kissed her and held her close just to feel her against me and my other arm was around Leslie hugging her to me also. My back was to the door and I heard a man’s voice. I suddenly turned and pulled Leslie behind me and looked at Cole with a panicked look. Leslie looked around me and said what’s wrong it’s just daddy. I sighed and Leslie walked around me to stand in front of me. I leaned against the wall and slid down with Trinity who was waking up still in my arms. I started crying harder and Leslie turned to Cole and said what’s wrong with mommy. Cole walked to her and picked her up and walked over to me and said Maddie, sweetheart. I looked up and he held a hand and helped me up and when I was on my feet again I hugged him and I felt his arm around my waist and Leslie’s arm around my neck. I leaned into Cole and whispered I just had to know that you guys were ok. Cole kissed my head and said we are all fine. I pulled away and looked at Trinity who was looking around. I looked at Leslie who was staring at me. I smiled a fake smile and then turned to Cole and asked can they sleep with us tonight. He smiled and I could see the concern in his eyes sure he said and we walked back to the bedroom. I laid down with Trinity on my chest. She looked at me and then put her head down and fell back asleep. Leslie got on one side of me and snuggled close. I put one arm around her. I looked down at her and she was fighting to stay awake. I kissed her head and said I’m fine baby I just had a bad dream. She said ok. She laid her head down and fell asleep. I waited until she dead asleep until I looked up at Cole he was watching me.  He said tell me what happened. I had tears in my eyes and I said John Patterson killed Leslie, Trinity, and you and he said that I could never get rid of him. I took a breath trying to calm myself. Cole put a hand on the side on my face and I leaned into it. I said Leslie and you kept saying that it was my fault. I started crying. Cole got closer and kissed my head and held me while I cried. He said look at us we are all perfectly fine and nothing is your fault except making me fall in love with you that was your fault. I laughed a little and looked at Trinity and Leslie and then looked at Cole and he said John is gone and is never coming back and we all love you more than the world. He kissed me and then laid his head down next to mine and we fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning I opened my eyes and Cole was gone but Leslie and Trinity were still there sleeping next to me. I looked over at the clock and it was 8:00. I got up and walked back to Trinity’s room and put her in her crib. I walked back to our room and laid down next to Leslie and watched her sleep and then I put a hand on her shoulder and she woke up. I smiled and said hi it’s time to get ready for school. She closed her eyes and said I don’t want to go to school today. I said you want to know something. What she asked not opening her eyes. I don’t want to go to work today. She smiled and snuggled closer and I said how about we drop Trinity off at day care and you and me go out just us. She opened her eyes and said really. Sure I said. We got up and I got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and walked to the baby’s room. She was awake sucking on her binky. I picked her up and changed her and walked out to the living room where Leslie was sitting on the couch trying to tie her shoes. I walked over and handed her the baby and knelt down and tied her shoes. I stood and picked up Trinity and we left and dropped her off at day care. When I got back in the car I turned and said so what do you want to do today? Leslie said I want to go toy shopping. Ok I said and we went to the mall so that I could get her and Trinity some cloths to. After about 6 hours of shopping. We decided to go to lunch so we loaded up the car with all the bags and went to a restaurant. We sat a table and talked. Then Leslie said I have to go to the bathroom. I walked with her and then I went to the bathroom too. While we were washing our hands there were shots fired outside the door. I jumped and said Leslie stay here and don’t move. She shook her head. Her eyes were wide and she was scared. I kissed her head and grabbed my gun and handcuffs from inside my purse. I put the handcuffs in my back pocket. I handed the purse to Leslie and slowly opened the door and looked out. I saw a guy with a gun to a lady’s head. I slowly walked out and quietly walked up behind him. I put the gun to his head and said drop it. The guy pushed the lady away and handed the gun back to me. I took it and hand cuffed the guy to the bar so he couldn’t get away. I looked around and there was everyone under there tables. Help some shouted and I ran over to where a teenage girl was on her knees by an older man. I dropped and saw that he was shot in the shoulder. I said I’m a cop please move. The girl was crying and moved I got next to him and pressed my hand on the wound it was bleeding really bad. I looked over to the girl and asked what’s your name? The girl said April. Ok April I need you to help me? She shook her head and I said I need you to keep pressure on the wound. She came close and I replaced my hand with hers and said you need to keep pressure on the wound it will save him. I wiped my hands on my shirt and got out my cell and called Cole. He got here just after the ambulance left. They said the guy would be fine and the girl was his daughter had saved his life. I didn’t see him when he first got there and I had my back turned. When I heard him call my name I turned and he looked at me and ran over and said what happened are you hurt. He was looking at my shirt. I looked down and it was covered in blood. I said no when I was helping the guy. I pulled off my shirt because I had a tank top under and the tank top didn’t look as bad as the shirt. Where’s Leslie Cole asked looking around? My eye’s opened wide and I turned and ran back into the restaurant with Cole right behind me. I ran to the girl’s bathroom. I opened the door and Leslie was gone. Leslie I called I turned and looked at the restaurant and I called Leslie. Mommy Leslie called. I looked around but couldn’t find her. There Cole pointed and she was sitting with a few other people. I ran over and said I told you not to move you just gave me a heart attack. She said the cop made me and I looked at the cop and said hey I’m police to. He said tell me what happened what everyone is saying is that you saved the day. I said well I was with my daughter in the bathroom when I heard a couple of gun shots and I went out and put my gun to his head and he gave up and I handcuffed him to the bar and helped the guy that he shot. The cop said he was trying to rob the place thanks for your help. I smiled and said I was just doing my job. I turned to Cole and said never a boring day. Cole laughed and said well I never get bored. We left and Cole followed us to the station and we walked in and Leslie said mommy did you get hurt just noticing my shirt. I said no baby I was helping a man that got helped and got blood on me. Ok Leslie said and when we got there we I said Leslie why don’t you go lay down up in the cribs. She smiled and then went. I walked over to dad’s office and knocked and he looked up and said Maddie what happened. I said there was a guy trying to rob the restaurant I was eating at and a guy got shot and I helped him I had tears in my eyes. Why are you crying he asked walking over to me? I cried I put Leslie once again in danger. He pulled me into a hug and said no you didn’t you would never put anyone in danger knowing. I said she could have got hurt or killed its my fault. No its not you didn’t know that a crazy man was going to attack when you guys where there dad said. I said but.. He cut me off and said but nothing it’s not your fault and if you ever say it again I’m going to make you take a vacation. Your mean I said. He smiled and said dads are supposed to be. He kissed my forehead and said now go back to work. I left and Cole said well the guy is crazy and is now on his was to jail already. I said I’m going to go lay down. He said ok and I walked in to the crib and Leslie was laying on one of the beds looking at the ceiling. I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. I touched her on the arm and she turned away from me. Leslie I said what’s wrong. She didn’t answer. I touched her and she got off the bed and said leave me alone. What did I do I asked. She just went to another bed and laid down with her back to me. Ok I said and walked out I closed the door and walked back down and went to the locker room and changed into shorts and a sports bra. I walked out and Ben whistled when I walked by. I turned and said do me a favor watch Leslie she is sleeping up in the cribs. Sure he said. I walked away and went to the stations gym. I could feel the eyes watching my as I went. When I finally got there I went to the punching bags to take my anger out. I turned on the music. I turned it up as high as it would go and took out all of my emotions. I was crying by the time I was done. I turned down the music and sank to the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and thought about all the things that had happened and then I made a big decision. I had to leave. Go away so that Cole, Leslie, and Trinity could have a safe happy life. I would miss them with everything I have but its safer without me almost getting them hurt. I stopped crying and got up and walked back to the squad room. I changed back into my other cloths and walked out and ran into Cole and he smiled and said have a good work out. Yah I’m going home to change and shower. Ok he said. Leslie is up in the crib sleeping I said. I pulled him into a hug and said I love you. He hugged me back and said I love you too. He pulled away and said is something wrong. No I shook my head and kissed him and turned and left. I drove to Trinity’s day care and walked in and said goodbye to her. When she saw me she started giggling. I smiled and picked her up and I had tears in my eyes and kissed her and said mommy loves you. I kissed her head and put her down. She started crying and I turned and walked away. I drove home. I showered and packed up so cloths, wrote Cole a note. I put it on the coffee table and left. I got in my car and drove. When I got to the city limits I decided I would drove to the Maine. It took 2 days of straight driving and I finally got there. I got an apartment and a job and was completely miserable. Every night I would lay in bed and look through the pictures on my digital camera and cry. I knew I was hurting myself but I could help it this was better. Weeks then mouths past and it wasn’t getting any better and after 2 mouths of being totally miserable I decided I needed to hear his voice. I grabbed my cell phone and called the house. Leslie picked up the phone. Hello Thomson residence she said. I opened my mouth but I couldn’t speak. Hello she said again. Mommy she asked. I froze and said hi baby. She said wait a minute. I heard her moving and then I heard a door close and she said where are you. I said I can’t tell you baby I just needed to hear your guy’s voice. Why did you leave we miss you and Daddy misses you so much he cried for a while and then grandpa made him take a break from working because he was a mess, now all he does is clean. I started crying and I said I’m so sorry baby but its better this way. She had started crying and she said no it’s not, it’s not better for us. I said baby I’m a danger magnet I can’t be around you guys, I can’t keep putting your lives in danger. She sniffled and said please mommy just come home we need you daddy need you the most, he hasn’t smiled since you left please mommy please. I said baby I couldn’t live if anything happened to any of you. You don’t know how stupid you sound Leslie said in a quiet voice. That made me stop crying what I asked? She said you sound so stupid you are not a danger magnet bad things happen all the time and it’s because of you that we are all fine and then you just leave us without saying goodbye she was yelling. I didn’t know how to answer and I said but. She cut me off and mom you were the one who changed your life to take in me in when I had no one else, when we were taken you tricked them into letting me go so I could get daddy to find you, you saved that man’s life when he was shot in the restaurant mom it’s because of you that all good stuff happened you need to look at the good stuff not the bad. I realized that she was right and I said have you been watching Oprah again. She laughed and said please mommy just come home. I asked would Cole forgive me? She said don’t say anything just lesion. Ok I said. I heard her open the door and walk somewhere. Daddy she said. Yes he said his voice didn’t sound right and it hurt to know that I made him sound like that. My knees went weak like they did almost every time I heard his voice. Then I listened and Leslie asked if mommy came home would you forgive her or be mad at her. He said Leslie sweetheart of course I would forgive her I love her but you need to know that she might not come back. I could hear tears in his voice. Leslie said but if she did you wouldn’t be mean to her at all. He said Leslie why are you asking all these questions. I was just wondering she said and then she walked away and I heard another door close. Then she said see mom he wouldn’t be mean to you at all. I sighed and said what about you would you forgive me. She said only if you come back right now. I said ok but I need a few days to quit my job and pack up. She said where do you live. In a little apartment I answered and I said I’m so sorry baby how can you ever forgive me I just left. She said even though you are not my real mom you are the best mom I have ever had, I never told you this but my other mom was never around I was always with a nanny and I only saw her on holidays at the party she would have. I said why didn’t you tell me. Because I was afraid that you would be the same after you know that I use to live like that and I like having you around with me she was crying again. I said I’m so sorry baby I never knew I started crying. Mommy just come home Leslie said. I said ok and then she said I want you to hear something. Ok I said. She walked into another room and then I heard her say listen and then another voice was on the phone. Mama the voice said. Trinity I said. She said mama again with a laugh. Then Leslie was back on the phone that’s all she knows Leslie said. She’s knows how to talk I said. Yes Leslie said. Then I said should I talk to Cole I asked. I think you should surprise him Leslie said. Ok I love you so much and I’m so sorry baby. Just come home and everything will be ok I love you so much she said. I said do you want me to stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep. Will you Leslie said. Of course I said. Leslie then went and brushed her teeth and changed and then climbed in bed and laid down with the phone to her ear and I said goodnight baby girl. She yawned and said night mommy. I started singing her a lullaby. Then after about 5 minutes I heard soft snoring and I said mommy’s coming home. I hung up and started packing luckily I only had a few things so it didn’t take long. I went and laid down on the couch and fell asleep. The next morning I went into work and went straight to the boss and told him I quite and left. I had already told my landlord that I was leaving and got in my car and drove. It took three days and when I finally got to New York it was 1:00 pm and I decided to drive and see Trinity. I drove to the day care and when I walked in Trinity was with the teacher. When the teacher saw me she said Maddie stop right there. I stopped and said why. She said watch. The teacher set Trinity down on her feet and held on to her hands and then Trinity saw me and smiled and took a step and the teacher let go and Trinity took another step and I got down on my knees and opened my arms and she took two more steps and then she was in my arms. I hugged her and she giggled and I stood and had tears in my eyes and said I’m so proud of you June bug. I kissed her and she was laughing and then she said mama. I smiled and said lets go see Leslie. I smiled and said thank you to the teacher and we left. I drove to Leslie’s school and it was recess. I got Trinity who was sleeping in her car seat and I walked and got a visitors pass and then walked onto the playground and looked around and then I saw her. She was playing basketball with some boys. I started walking over and she had the ball and shot and made it and the guys patted her on the back and then she looked up when she heard some clapping. She smiled a wide smile and she yelled mommy and I set down Trinity and she ran over to me and jumped into my arms and hugged me tight and I hugged her back. I was crying and she was too and I said I’m back baby. I set her down and knelt down. I said let me look at you. She had grown a little and she had cut her hair. I touched her hair and said I love your hair cut. She smiled and said thanks then she hugged me again and said I missed you a lot mommy. I kissed her head and then one of the guys called her and I said your friends are calling. She pulled away and I said you go play I will be right over on the benches when you are done. She kissed my cheek and ran back over to the guys. I sat on the benches and set Trinity down next to me and after about 15 minutes the bell rang and Leslie came running up to me and she said we won. I smiled and said that’s my girl. I hugged her again and I said I’m sorry for leaving you. She said mama you came back that’s all I care about. I smiled and said do you want to come with me or do you want to stay here. She said I want to go with you. I stood up and then I said ok well go get your stuff and we walked to her classroom and the rest of the class were there talking to each other and Leslie went over to her desk and pulled out her lunch box and put it in her backpack and then went to the teacher and asked for the homework and after she got that she grabbed her backpack and we left and walked to the office and I signed her out and we went to the car. We drove home and Leslie said I’ll get Trin and you get your bags ok. Ok I said and I got the bags and Leslie grabbed Trinity. She set her on the ground and Trinity started walking only Leslie never let go of her hands and they walked the whole way to the house and we went in a I stepped in and froze. It was scary clean. It was like Joan Crawford had been there. Wow I said. Leslie said see I told you. Did he ever ask you to bring him an ax? I asked. She gave me a weird look, never mind I said where is he. She shrugged and went off to the living room and I walked up stairs and went to our bedroom. I stopped and then opened the door and there he was lying on the bed sleeping. I put my bag down and walked over to the bed. I reached out to touch him and then stopped. I pulled my hand back and then went back to the door and closed it. I walked back to the other side of the bed and sat down on the bed. I said Cole. He started to wake up and I stood and he opened his eyes and he looked over at me and said not again and turned again and I said Cole. He said you’re not real. I said Cole I’m real. He turned looking back at me. I reached out to touch him. He suddenly pulled me down on the bed and locked me in his embrace and hugged me and started crying and said why did you leave us. I was crying to and said because I thought it would be safer without me and that I would stop putting your life’s in danger. Cole said I missed you so much. I buried my face in his shoulder and cried I missed you too. When we finally calmed down Cole asked you’re staying right you’re not leaving right. I said I’m here to stay and you have your daughter and Oprah to thank for that. Leslie he said that explained the questions and the reason I found her sleeping with the phone. I kissed him and said I’m so sorry. He smiled and said as long as you’re back for good I’m fine. What is it with you and Leslie and just forgiving me I just left and made you all miserable and you just forgive me right like that. He smiled and said because we know that you were just as miserable as we were. I said I was and I missed Trinity saying her first word too. Cole said it was horrible and I was trying to get her to say daddy and she just looked at me and said mama. I smiled and said she’s a mama’s girl. He kissed me and said I know. Isn’t she a little young for her to be walking though I asked? Cole shook his head and shrugged. I sighed and said I’m sorry. He looked at me and said it’s in the past so forget it. I smiled and said so what did I miss. He said well nothing much Leslie got her hair cut and we went cloths shopping and I found out that I can’t let her pick out the cloths. I laughed and said nice. Then I snuggled closer to him and he kissed my head and I started to fall asleep when he said lets go on our honey moon right now. I sat up and said what. He said lets pack some cloths take the kids to Charlie’s and go to Vegas and finally have our honey moon. Cole I said. He looked at me and said what. I said we can’t just run off. Why not Cole asked. Come on Maddie be spontaneous with me. I thought about it and said ok let’s go. Cole smiled and said ok I’ll pack and you go get the kids ready. I got up and kissed Cole and went to find the kids. Leslie was sitting in front of the TV watching cartoons and playing with Trinity. I said Leslie you need to go and pack a suitcase for about 2 weeks. She looked at me and tears filled her eyes and she asked why. Because your dad and I are going to go on our honey moon I said a little worried that she wouldn’t be happy. She wiped her eyes and said really. I smiled and said yes. She smiled and turned to Trinity and said we are going to Uncle Charlie’s house. She got up and ran to her room and I picked Trinity and brought her into Leslie’s room where she was pulling out her Goth rocker hello kitty suitcase. I smiled because when I sat on her bed she started talking a mile a min. I can’t believe you guys are going to have your honey moon in Vegas are you going to go to the M&M store, if you do will you bring me a bunch of stuff with crunchy on it. That’s the orange one I said. Yes and Trinity’s favorite color is purple so you could get her a red doll and a blue one, I bet she wouldn’t know the difference, And maybe you could bring us back something with our names on it like a necklace with Leslie written on it and a teddy bear wearing a shirt with Trinity on it. I laughed and said I will see what I can do. She stopped and smiled and hugged me and said I’m so happy. Do you even know what a honey moon is I asked? She said no but I know that it’s what happens after you get married and you guys didn’t but I’m happy you guys are going to go now. I kissed her head and said me to. I helped her pack and then she helped me pack Trinity’s cloths and some toys. When we were finished I went back to our room and Cole had just finished packing and he told me he had called Charlie and Jane and they said that they would be glad to watch the kids. We loaded the car and left. The next two weeks pasted by in a flash. Cole and I flew to Vegas and we stayed in a nice hotel and the last two days we were there we went shopping. I loved the M&M store I bought everything I could find with the orange M&M on it and Cole had to pull me out of there because I was like a teen that just got there first pay check and then we went and got Trinity a blanket with her name sewed on it. It was baby purple and had pink outlining it. After that went to five different stores but couldn’t find a necklace that had Leslie’s name on it. So the finial night I was really sad that I couldn’t find it. I was sitting cross legged on the bed watching TV trying to take my mind off the necklace thing when Cole came into the room after being gone for 2 hours. Where did you go I asked? He smiled and said I didn’t want you to be sad so I went to a store that we passed here and got them with my charm to make a special necklace just for you. He pulled a box out of his pocket and handed it to me and I opened it and there was a necklace with the name Leslie written on it. I was shocked that Cole would do that for me and I stood up and kissed him and hugged him and said thank you. I started crying and Cole pulled back and looked at me and said what’s wrong. I smiled and said I’m just happy you are the best man a person could ever have. He smiled and he kissed me and said lets go home. We loaded the rental car and went home. We arrived around 1:00 in the morning and we went straight to Charlie’s house. I got the key from the planter and we went in. I went up to Charlie’s room and opened the door and looked in Charlie and Jane were sleeping Charlie on his back and Jane on her side facing away from him. I silently walked over to her and got down on my knees and softly dragged my finger from her eyebrows to the tip of her nose. I kept doing it until she started waking up. I did it one more time and she opened her eyes and I smiled and she said hey. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She stood up and we walked out to the living room and she said so how was your trip. I said well it was great. She said you married a good man. I smiled and said we lucked out. So how were the children I asked? We only had to beat them a few times she said smiling. That’s good I said laughing. She said no they were perfect. Leslie was very helpful with Trinity and Charlie taught Trinity a few new words. I said oh no. She laughed and said nothing to bad. What new words I asked. She laughed and said well let’s see he taught her how to say goal and yes when there football team makes a touchdown, He also taught her no and boo for when there team loses. Great Charlie has managed to turn her to the dark side in a madder of 14 days. Jane laughed and said did Leslie tell you about her friends? No I said. Jane smiled and said well there all boys, and I must say she acts just like you. I said what do you mean. She said well lets see what do you saw every more when you walk into work. Morning boys I answered. She smiled and said remember about a week before you found out you were pregnant and you almost got into the fight with that guy because he was bad mouthing Ben. I smiled and said yes. Do you remember what Cole did to stop you she asked? I said yes he literly picked me up and pulled me away from the man. She said well Leslie almost got into a fight with an older kid because he was teasing on of her friends and one of her friends had to pick her up and carry her away from the kid. I smiled and said did she get into trouble. No the kid was too scared to tell she said laughing. I said well I have girlfriends’ not just boys. I know Jamie and I she said. I smiled and said my little tyrant. Jane smiled and then asked where is Cole. He took the kids home and I asked if I could stay here and hang out with you at I looked at my watch and said 1:10 in the morning. I laughed and said sorry. She said whatever I don’t have work tomorrow. We walked out to the patio and sat on her porch swing and we were talking when suddenly Charlie came out holding a gun he had it pointed at us, Jane and I screched and Charlie said oh welcome back lowering the gun. What the hell I said you just gave us a heart attack. Charlie said sorry I woke up to a noise and came to check it out. I looked over at Jane. How was your trip Charlie asked? Great I said I love Las Vegas. Jane then said you have to take me sometime. We can watch Davy I told Jane. Don’t call him that its not manly Charlie said. I turned and said I will call him anything I want. I’m not afraid to hurt you Charlie said. Jane then stepped in and said well you should be because if you hurt her then you have to deal with me. Oh you got told I said. Don’t get me started with you Jane said turning to me. I looked down and said sorry. You two act like children when you are together. Sorry Charlie and I said together. We both had smiles on our faces. Well I’m going back to bed Charlie said turning and walking back inside. I said what to have a sleep over. Jane said sure. Ok cool I pulled out my cell and dialed Jamie’s cell. She answered on the fourth ring. Hello a sleepy voice answered. The call is coming from inside the house I said in the scariest voice I could. She yawned and said welcome home Maddie. How did you know it was me I asked? Who else would call me at 1:30 in the morning, what is your problem she asked? I was wondering if you wanted to come over to Jane’s house and have a sleepover like little girls. When she asked. Now I said. Sure the kids are with their father this weekend, I will be over in a few mins. We went inside and got things ready. We pulled out a bunch of movies and made popcorn and I found some cookie dough and chips and we make a little picnic and then the door opened and Jamie was standing there looking tired. For the rest of the night we talked watched movies and went to bed feeling sick. When I woke up Jane was still asleep with her head on my stomach and Jamie laying on her stomach. I tapped Jane’s head. And she started to wake up. She then looked down at Jamie and tapped her head. She moved and sat up. What time is it Jane asked? I looked at my watch 2:15 I said. I stood and cracked my back. Jane and Jamie stood up also. I’m going to go and get the kids out of school now and give them their gifts I said. I kissed Jane’s cheek and then Jamie’s and then left. I walked the 5 blocks home and called Cole. Hey baby he answered. Hey I was wondering if you could get out of working early and come home so we can spend time with our kids I said. I always smiled when I said our kids. Sure I will slip out now while Captain is gone out for coffee and meet you at home in 15 mins. Ok I said love you. Love you to babe he said and hung up. I walked onto the porch and went inside. It was still creepy clean. I walked into the kitchen and looked in the cobert. There was nothing to eat then I saw a bag of candy. Leslie’s of course. I sighed and opened it. I reached in and pulled out a cinnamon fireball. I shrugged and popped it in my mouth it was good for the first couple seconds then it started burning. It was really good I loved cinnamon. I finished the fireball when Cole walked in the front door. He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned into his touch and sighed. I leaned my head back and kissed him. When we pulled back he said you taste like cinnamon. I smiled lets go get the kids. Ok we walked out and got in the car and he drove. I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes. I fell asleep and I was awakened by Cole putting something on my lap. Trin started moving around and my arms went around her. Mama she said. I opened my eyes and looked down. She was looking up at me with her big eyes that were just like Coles. Hey June bug I said smiling. I handed her to Cole who was waiting in the back to strap her in. Then we went to get Leslie. When we were all home we were sitting on the couch and I gave Leslie and Trinity their gifts and saved the blanket and Necklace for last. I then handed them the boxes and they opened them and Leslie’s eyes opened wide. Thank you she cried and jumped up and hugged me and then Cole. She turned and he helped her put it on. I will never take it off I promise she said. I laughed and then looked over to Trinity and said was sucking on her blanket. That taste good June bug I asked? She slid off the couch and walked over to me. She sat down in my lap. I hugged her and smiled. Then I said we have to stop taking you out of school early. Leslie smiled and said I don’t mind there is this boy that sits at another table that is always looking at me and I don’t like it and he won’t stop. I laughed and said I think he may like you. Cole groaned and said its starting. I smiled and said its ok baby just wait until high school when things surpass just holding hands wink wink. Oh my god Cole said getting up and walking out of the room. I laughed and Leslie was looking at Trinity weird. I looked down and said what. She said something is wrong. I pulled Trinity up so that she was standing so I could see her properly. And then I saw it Trinity was covered in little red spots. I touched one of them and Trinity was still scratching and I hadn’t noticed before. I grabbed her hand and said no baby. She looked up at me and started crying. Cole I yelled. What he said running into the room. Something is wrong with Trinity I said standing we need to take her to the hospital now. Cole ran over and said what happened. I held her up and Cole said looked at her closely and said she has chicken poxs. What I said. Chicken poxs she is going to be fine but she will be scratchy for a few days. I said Leslie have you ever had chicken poxs. Yes when I was 4 Mama was angry because the doctor said that it was going to take a few days to go away and she had to cancel a few things she said. What about you I said turning to Cole. Yes I had it twice. Ok well lets go get some calimine lotion on her. Leslie followed me into Trinity’s room and helped me and after we were done. I called the captain and told him about Trinity and asked if he could ask the guys if they had all had it so I could bring her in he did and they all said they had. She was not crying anymore but she started scratching and I took her hands and said no baby you can’t scratch it will stop itching in a min ok. I picked her up and she was only wearing her diaper. I loaded her in the car and we all drove to the station. Why are we going back Cole asked? Because we have taking so many days off that I’m wondering why dad hasn’t fired us I said. Because we are his best detectives he said. When we arrived I took Trinity out and carried her and we all went inside. Leslie you need to go take your nap I said. Mama I’m too old for a nap Leslie said. Leslie please don’t argue with me I said. Fine she said with a sigh and walked up to the cribs. Trinity was asleep and when I walked in all the guys looked over and I brought her into dad’s office and said I’m sorry. Don’t be sorry about anything I will watch her. I thanked him and walked out to my desk and I looked down and had calimine lotion on my sweater so I pulled off my sweater and threw it under my desk and started streaching my neck. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. I looked around and said what. Then Cole walked back down from the crib and said see Maddie does have a soft side. I looked down and realized that I was wearing the bright pink tank top that had a care bear on it and it said free hugs. I sighed and put my head down and I felt someone walk by and put something on me. I looked up and it was Ben and he had given me his sweatshirt. Thanks I said and pulled it on. I was working when someone walked through the door. The visitor had her hands shoved in her pockets and biting her lip in a nervous habit kind of way, she was eighteen year old girl. She was tallish, and had a complexion close to mine. Her hair was also similar to my natural hair color, however, it was much longer and held up in a clip on the back of her head with a pen stuck through it just for convenience with a few shorter strands that didn’t quite make the cut curling around he face, some hanging in front of her eyes, others pushed behind her ears carelessly. She had on no makeup with the exception of heavy black eyeliner. Along her ears were several rings. She sported a small stud nose ring and although no one could see at this point, her belly button was pierced. She wore somewhat baggy jeans covered in holes and doodles of band names, peace signs, and other randomness. Her jeans were held up by a brown looking belt with random copper and faded silver studs. In her back pocket was a wallet it was attached to a chain that she hooked onto her belt loop. The rest of her pockets were also full. The front left pocket contained a cell phone, the right front a pocketknife and some change. Her Tee shirt was the opposite of her jeans, being tight and hugging her curves. The shirt was black and faded and bore the Rolling Stones tongue. Her arms bore several scars. Large scars that littered her arms came to be, have a vast range of stories behind them. If one were to see her naked they would see that her arms weren’t the only body part covered in scars. Her right wrist had a chain wrapped several times around it that was originally a necklace along with an extra rubber band for her hair. On her left wrist she wore a black cuff lined with silver studs, underneath which lay a whole different set of scars that she hid from the world. Her fingernails were painted black and she wore three rings in all. Two on her left hand on her middle finger and thumb, and one on her right hand on her middle finger. All of them were silver and of different designs. She wore a standard pair of White, high top converse that had been worn in from years of tough love use, but these she made sure were all her own. They were covered in song lyrics, written in pens and all colors and sharpies. These could not be mistaken for anyone else’s. She looked around the room and walked up to and officers desk and asked a question and then he pointed over to me. The girl looked at me and then took a deep breath and walked over. When she was standing in front of my desk she said “Are you Madeline McNally?”  “Yes” I said. “Can I talk to you?” “In privet please.” I shook my head and stood and said “Follow me.” I noticed that her eyes were the same color as mine. We were walking to the intaragation room when Charlie walked in and stopped me. He was smiling until he saw the girl next to me. His smiled disappeared and he looked from the girl to me and then back to the girl and at me when he said “Wow blast from the past.” “What?” I asked. “That’s what you looked like in high school,” he said. “Charlie not now, ok.” I said pushing past him. The girl followed me into the room and sat down across from me at the table. I was waiting for her to talk and she said ‘Umm… I don’t really know how to say this so I’m just going to say it.” I shook my head and waited. “I think I’m your little sister.” she said. “I’m sorry but I’m an only child and my parents died when I was six years old.” I said. “Yes I know,” the girl said “But you see my mom really wanted a baby and so she went to a sperm bank and I guess your father had an account there and well here I am.” I froze. She looked at me and then waved a hand in front of my face. “Are you ok she asked?” I couldn’t move. She stood and walked around the table and opened the door and said “Umm I need some help.” Then someone walked into the room and then I saw Cole. “What happened?” He asked? “Well I think I took her by surprise.” the girl said. “Who are you?” he asked. “Her little sister.” the girl said. Cole asked “How.”  Then I turned my head and said “Sister?” The girl started biting her lip again. Cole can you leave us please I said. He shook his head and left the room closing the door behind him. I stood and looked straight at the girl. She looked really nervous. What’s your name I asked? Ella May Louse but everyone calls me Ellie she said. Ok Ellie well you know my name I said can you please tell me why you are here. She shook her head and went back to the table and said my mom just died and I’m all alone and I went through her stuff and found the name of David McNally on my birth certificate and so I goggled him and a bunch of things came up and it said that he died with his wife in a car acsident, but that you were still alive. Then I goggled your name and a bunch of things came up and she looked around and said well you aren’t a complete failure like me are you. I said how did you find me here I asked. Well in one of the new paper articles it said that you worked here and so I hopped on a train and 12 hours later here I am she said looking away nervous again. Why did you want to find me I asked? Because you are all I have left she said with tears in her eyes. I started getting tears in mine and said where did you come from? Maine she said. Well I said to tell you the truth I don’t know what to do now. She laughed and me either. Well she said is there a way to prove that we are related Ellie asked? Yes that’s a good idea I said standing up and said follow me. The girl followed close behind me and we were walking out the door when I heard Trinity start crying. I turned and walked to the captain’s office and he was trying to calm her down. He handed her to me and she looked at me and said mama and tried to itch but I said no baby don’t. She was still crying when Ellie walked in and went over to her baby bag and pulled out a pair of her socks and I said what are you doing. Turn her around Ellie said. I turned her and Ellie carefully put the socks over her hand and Trinity tried to itch but couldn’t. She started getting mad and tried to take the sock off but couldn’t. She started crying again and I said I know baby girl its ok. She started calming down and in the end fell asleep. I looked up at Ellie and said where did you learn that trick with the socks. She said the lady that lived next door taught me a bunch of things and she had kids. Thank you I said. I walked out with Trinity and walked up to Cole and said is there anything we can do. He shook his head and said I called and she has a doctors appointment in about 2 hours do you want me to take her or you? I will take her I said. Ok he said looking over to Ellie. She was looking around the room and not paying attention. I have to do something so I will take Trinity with me ok I said. Ok Cole said. Then Leslie walked down the stairs. Then she walked over to me and said wow mama she looks like a younger you. Leslie you want to come with me or stay here I asked? I want to come she said. We all walked out and when we got in the car. Leslie started asking Ellie questions. What’s your name she asked? My name is Ellie, Ellie answered. How old are you Leslie asked? I’m 18 Ellie said. Do you have a boyfriend? No I don’t Ellie answered. Have you ever had a boyfriend Leslie asked? Yes me last boyfriends was named Gavin Ellie said. How many boyfriends have you had she asked? 3 Ellie said. Leslie please that’s not polite to attack Ellie with questions I said? No I don’t mind Ellie said. Leslie than said why did you and your last boyfriend brake up. Leslie I said. No its really fine we broke up because he wasn’t the guy I thought he was he turned out to be completely different a mean guy Ellie said. Oh Leslie said. Then the car was silent and we went to the medical examiners office and she took DNA samples from both of us and said she would call me with the results. I thanked her and then we left and went to the doctor’s office. He gave us some cream that would make it less painful for Trinity and then we went back to the station and we were walking in the door when my cell phone rang and it was the medical examiner and she said that we shared the same father and that we were sisters. I turned to Ellie and said you were right we are sister, Leslie this is your aunt Ellie. Leslie’s eye lit up and she said really. Ellie said what now? I said we will figuare something out. I walked back to the captain’s office and Trinity was napping so I set her in her chair and walked back out to my desk where Leslie and Ellie were playing rock, paper, sissers. I smiled and Cole caught my eye and motioned for me to follow him. I followed him into the cribs and sat on a bed. So what’s the deal he said. Well we are sisters I said and I’m the only one she has now because her mother died. So what is going to happen is she going to live with us he asked? I don’t know I still have to talk to her I said. I think that we should invite her over for dinner and then when Leslie goes to bed you and her can talk Cole said. Ok I said and I stood up and he pulled me into his arms and I sighed and hugged him back. When we went down stares Leslie was sitting at my desk coloring and Ellie was gone. Where did Ellie go I asked once I walked over to Leslie. She went to get a soda from the vending machine Leslie said. I started walking over there when I heard a voice said ow sorry please let go. I ran the rest of the way and I saw Ellie had Ben pined to the vending machine with his arm behind his back. Ellie I said let him go. She let go and stepped back and I went over to Ben and he was rubbing his shoulder. Why would you do that I asked turning to Ellie. I’m sorry he snuck up on me and I didn’t think before I acted she said looking down. Ben are you ok I asked. I’m fine pretty impressed because you are the only other person who has ever done that before he said. I smiled it runs in the family I said. I didn’t know that you had a little sister I thought that you were an only child Ben said. So did I but I guess you learn something new every day I said. Ben wasn’t listening to me anymore he was looking at Ellie. She was looking trying to decide what kind of soda she wanted. I rolled my eyes and walked back to my desk. I started itching my neck and I realized that my arms itched to and my stomach. I was walking back to my desk when Cole stopped me, Maddie are you ok he asked? I looked up and he laughed? You have never had chicken pox have you he said. I didn’t even stop to think about it and I guess not I said. I was scratching my arms when Cole grabbed my arms don’t make me have to put socks on your hand to he said. I glared at him they itch I said. I know baby he said. Lets get you home he said. We went to the captains office and after he looked at me and told me not to come back until I was spot free we all left. Except for Ellie who was hang out with Ben and who Cole would come back to work for. When we got home Cole made me lay down and helped put calimine lotion on my chicken pox. When he finished I tried to scratch my arms. But he caught my arms don’t baby you will make them worst he said. Ok I said. He left and I did everything possible to take my mind off of itching. It took a week before the chicken pox went away and I found out that Ellie was going to collage but she couldn’t pay for the apartment that she shared with her mom so she needed a place to stay so she is going to move in with us. She is also dating Ben. I laughed when she told me that he asked her out because Ben was a nice guy but it took him 2 weeks to ask out his last girlfriend and that’s when she told me that she kinda asked him. Ellie was helping out a lot and going to school and I got to know her very well. She acts just like me when I was in college. It was Friday and Cole and I came home from a very boring day and Ellie was asleep on the couch. I went over to her and I could see her stomach and she had her belly button periced and I noticed a bunch of scares. Cole I whispered and he came up behind me and I pointed to her stomach. What he said you have your belly button periced too. No I said look at all the scares. He leaned a little closer and gasped. Then he looked at me. Do you think that she was abused I asked? I don’t know why don’t you find out tomorrow have a girl day just you and her and talk Cole said. I shook my head and he took my hand and pulled me to our room and we changed and went to bed. I had a hard time sleeping and when I finally got to sleep I dreamed about Ellie I jumped awake. When it was finally morning I got up and went and got Leslie and Trinity ready for school and day care. While I was getting Trinity ready I sent Leslie to wake up Ellie. Ellie came into the room and walked over to me and helped and then I ran the idea by her and she thought about it and said sure about spending the day with me. When everyone was at school or work Ellie and I went out to breakfast. I was trying to keep the subject light. We were walking around the mall when Ellie stopped me and said what’s wrong with you. I looked over at her and said what do you mean I asked. You have been very weird around me treating me like I’m a porslin doll and I will break at any moment she said. I sighed and said I wanted to wait until we got home but. Wait can’t we just leave and go home she asked. Lets go I said. In the car I decided to bring up the subject. I don’t know how to ask this so I‘m just going to I said. Ok Ellie said. Were you ever abused I asked. Why would you ask that Ellie said in a flat voice. When you were sleeping on the couch last night your shirt rode up and I noticed a lot of scares I said. No I was never abused and I would just like to change the subject please Ellie said. El are you hurting yourself I asked? We pulled up to the house and she got out of the car and ran inside. I walked inside and I heard her slam her door. I sighed and walked up to the door and knocked and said El please talk to me. Go away I heard a voice came from inside and I could tell that she was crying. I started getting tears in my eyes and I took a deep breath and opened the door. Ellie was lying on her bed with her head in the pillow and she was crying. I closed the door and walked over to the bed and sat on the end and Ellie sat up and looked at me with anger in her eyes and she said leave. I shook my head no. More tears ran down her face and she hid her face in her hands and I pulled her into a hug and she broke down and sobbed. After she had calmed down. We sat on the bed and talked, she told me about cutting herself. She said that she started when she was a freshman in high school. She went into the bathroom and came back a little bit later in her bra and panties and stood in front of me. I looked her up and down and gasped there were so many little scares on her body. I don’t do it anymore she said. Good I said. Just another thing that you are better than me right she said with a sad laugh. I looked down and said not really and then pulled off my t-shirt so that I was only wearing my bra and showed her my sides and my stomach. She touched one of the scares and looked up at me and we both had tears in our eyes. I did it too you are a carbon copy of me when I was younger only I didn’t stop myself. How did you stop Ellie asked? I took off my pants and showed her my legs and there were more scares. Then I showed her a big scare on the back of my leg and said once I cut to deep and had to go to the hospital and they put me in a program and I finally got the help I needed. She hugged me and we both cried. After we calmed down a little we got dressed and sat on the bed and talked for hours. When it was time to pick up Leslie Ellie drove and we waited outside of the school and finally the bell rang and Leslie walked over to us and we all got in the car and drove and picked up Trinity. After we got her I asked everyone if they wanted to go to the station and they said sure. We got there and Trinity was sleeping, Ellie went and sat on Ben’s desk and was talking to him. Leslie stayed next to me and we went over to my desk. Cole smiled when he saw us and kissed me and messed up Leslie’s hair. She smiled and said I’m gonna go play ok. Sure but stay out of the way I said and she walked off. Cole sat back at his desk and I went and gave Trinity to dad. I was walking back to me desk when Cole suddenly pulled me onto his lap and hugged me. I hugged him back and said what did I miss. Umm we had a weird crime scene he said. Really tell me I said. Ok well when we should up there was this sign that was writtin with human blood saying stop now if you value your life, then there was another sign on the door that said anyone who passes this door will become satines slave or something like that and then inside there was a pentical drawn in blood with the dead mother in the middle and we found her little boy tied up in the closet and still wont talk or even look at any of us Cole said. That was horrible did he see it I asked? No I put my jacket over his head and we lead him out of the house and into the car before I took my jacket back and made sure that he couldn’t see anything. Oh my god are you ok I asked? Yes I’m worried about the boy he said. Anything else I asked? Yes the little boy was being abused by someone Cole said shaking his head. How can you tell there are bruses that are shaped like hands on his arms. Where is he I asked looking around. He is in the kid interview room. Can I try and talk to him I asked Cole. He shrugged and said sure maybe he is afraid of guys and will only talk to girls like Leslie was when we first meet her. I got up and walked over to the interview room and looked through the one way mirror and gasped there was Leslie sitting next to the little boy he seemed to be older then Leslie but not by much and they were talking and coloring. Then suddenly the little boy looked down and then Leslie moved over and hugged him and he hugged her back. Then she looked up and at me like she knew that I was there. She pulled back and asked can my mom come in and you talk to her I promise she is really nice. The boy looked at her and then shook his head yes slowly. She got up and walked to the door and opened it and held out her hand. I took it and we walked into the room. We walked over and I sat down at the little table. Leslie turned to leave and the little boy said stay. She turned and sat down next to him. Hi I said when he looked up at me my name is Maddie what’s yours. Mark he said. Can you tell me who tied you up in the closet I asked? He looked down again and Leslie took his hand and he looked over at her and she shook her head yes. My mom did he whispered. Why I asked? Because she said that I was bad he said. What did you do I asked? I didn’t finish my food and I interrupted her when she was practicing her chanting. I’m sorry please I promise that I won’t be bad anymore please just let me go home he said tears coming back into his eyes. Leslie hugged him and he hugged her back. Sweetie I’m afraid to tell you this but your mother has gone to heaven that’s why my partner put his jacket over your head so you wouldn’t see I said. He looked at me and said what and started crying harder and Leslie hugged him tighter. She looked over at me and she had tears in her eyes. After he started calming down Leslie said Mark tell her about the bruises. He took a deep breath and said my mother left a few days ago and had her boyfriend stay with me and he had a bunch of his friends over and they were all in the living room and he called for him to get him a beer and I didn’t get it fast enough and he grabbed me and shook me and hit me he said lifting his shirt and there was a bruse. He turned back to Leslie. She smiled. There was one more thing he said, what sweetie I asked? Well two things he said. I smiled and waited for him to start and he said well my mother told me that she was going to give herself to the craft once and mom’s boyfriend and his friends were doing drugs he said. Do you know what kind I asked? I don’t know but I do have some he said and then he reached into his pocket and pulled a little bag with white powder. He handed it to me and I said how did you get this well once his friends left he pulled me out of bed and made me clean up and I got some to tell me mother and prove that he was bad but she didn’t believe me because he told her that I was a lier and she believe him he said anger in his voice. Ok sweetie I said standing. But he wasn’t looking at me anymore he was sorting the crayons. I looked over at Leslie and she said he does this when he gets mad he organizes thing. Ok I said and walked out the door and I opened and stepped outside and Cole and Jamie were there. Jamie was crying a little and Cole was shaking his head. I can’t believe it I said what a creep to hurt such a presice little boy like that. I walked over to Jamie and gave her a little hug she wiped her face and said I’m ok I could never be a cop though. I looked over at Cole and said does he have any more family? He shook his head nope all of his family have passed away all he had was his mother he said. I turned and looked back at them through the mirror and they were coloring again and talking. I’ll take him Jamie said. We both turned and looked at her and she repeated herself I will take him. Jamie you don’t have to I said. I know I don’t have to but I want to, I want to show him that there are good people in the world and with him living at my house he and Leslie are close because I think that they have a bond Jamie said trying to sell her idea. I smiled and said we have to talk to socil services about it. Ok call them up she said with a smile. I walked over and called socil services and they had to do the same thing they did with me they would take him to a temp house and they would check out Jamie’s house and she would hear from them in a few days. When they came to take him to the foster house he freaked out a little bit because he didn’t want to leave Leslie at all. She took him a side and whispered something to him and that made him calm down and go with the lady quietly. When Leslie came back over to me I asked what did you tell him. She shrugged and said I told him that if he goes with her now it will be quicker that he will be our neighbor and we will be together for as long as he needs. I hugged her and said good job in there. She smiled up at me and said I want to be a cop too like you and daddy. I think you will make once kick butt cop I said. Her smile widened and she went off to play with Trinity. I walked over to my desk and sat down and started doing paper work. After a few hours I decided to go get coffee and I walked to the coffee shop across the street I was in waiting in line debating getting a chocolate chip cookie or a chocolate chip muffin when a guy in a mask come in with a knife and he grabbed a lady and held the knife to her throat and yelled now I want all the money right now. My head was screaming again you are a danger magnent. I grabbed my gun and said drop it. He held the knife tight and pressed it harder into the lady’s neck and she said ow. Drop your gun he said. I didn’t and he pressed the knife tighter and the lady cried out in pain and I saw a little blood. Ok I said raising my hands and putting my gun down to the floor. Now slide it over here he said. I did and in my head I was thinking damn it, damn it, damn it and I felt everyone’s eyes on me. He picked up the gun and pushed the lady aside and I saw a guy press a napkin to her neck. He was pointing the gun and in my head I was like well good job give the crazy guy a gun. He walked over to the counter and pointed the gun at the girl behind the counter and said give me the money. She was shaking and opened the register and she gave him the money. Is there a safe here she shook her head yes and he said open it and give me the money. She said I don’t know the combination. What he said. Only the maniger knows the combination she said I saw the fear growing in her eyes. If you don’t open that safe now I will start hurting people. I don’t know it she said. Fine he said and then he pointed the gun to a man who was on standing near the counter. He said you want to open it now. She was crying and saying I really don’t know it. The guy pulled the trigger and the other guy fell and the guy turned his back to me and my adrenalin started pumping and I ran at the guy and right before I got to him he turned and I heard another shot but I didn’t see where it went and I tackled him and he hit his head on the ground and he was knocked out and I cuffed him. Then suddenly a bunch of other cops came running in with their gun drawn. They came over to me and helped me up and took the guy and the others helped the other guy. I ran back to the station my adrenalen was still pumping. I ran in and they all turned and said are you ok. There was an atemted robbery at the coffee store across the street and I didn’t get my cookie I said. A bunch of them jumped up and ran out the door and I walked over to my desk and sat down and Cole walked over to me said are you ok. I smiled and said besides not getting my cookie I’m fine. He walked back over to his desk and sat down and got back to his work I was hot so I unzipped my black sweat shirt and my adrenalin was starting to leave when I heard Leslie scream MOMMY I jumped up and looked around until I saw Leslie said what baby. Then Cole said Oh my god Maddie. He was looking at my shirt. I looked down and it was soaked in blood. Then I felt the pain and I fell. Leslie and Cole ran over to me and Ben said cop down we have an officer down and he gave our location and I was fighting the blackness. Cole said stay with me and he was pressing on my stomach and He said Leslie keep her talking. She leaned over me and said ok mama you have to keep talking to me now in school I got 100% on a spelling test and I’m the fastest in my P.E. class. I smiled the best I could and said great baby and tried to keep my eyes open but couldn’t and then I felt Leslie put her hands on my face and say no come on mommy open your eyes I could hear the tears in her eyes and I opened my eyes and looked up at her and said its ok baby I will be ok and then she said please just keep talking to me. I was fighting the darkness that was getting stronger and Cole yelled were is that god damn bus she is losing a lot of blood. The pain was dragging me under and I tried to focus on Leslie voice and I knew that I was going to give into the darkness so I said Leslie I want you to know that you are my baby girl and I love you more than anything and Cole I love you and tell Trinity that I will always love her. No Maddie don’t give up on me Cole said now crying and Leslie sobbed no mommy please. Keep her talking Cole said again. Leslie was crying umm my basketball team won all of our games in P.E. she said grabbing my hand. I smiled and squized her hand and said that’s my girl and then I couldn’t fight it and the darkness took over.

I opened my eyes and I was in a room it was all white, a little to white and there was a desk in the corner and there was a lady typing on the computer and I looked down and my shirt wasn’t bloody anymore. Umm were am I, I asked the lady? She looked up at me and smiled and said your at a cross road in your life and she stood up and walked over to me. A what I asked? A cross road it’s a time were the big guy doesn’t know if its your time yet she said. I looked around and said I think I lost to much blood or I’m going crazy. That lady looked at me and said you haven’t lost any blood your fine look. She pulled up my shirt and pointed to the spot were I was shot and it was gone I was perfectly fine. No please no I want to stay alive please I just had a family I’m finally happy I said starting to cry. The lady said were that is were you decide and she said but you have to bring everything into prospective. What do you mean I asked? Well remember when all the bad things that have happened in heaven there is only good things and remember all the things that happened were you put your family in danger just think about how safe they will be she said. She was right I thought and I was ready to agree when Leslie’s voice went through my head you need to think of all the good stuff and not the bad remember how you have helped me and think of daddy we need you. I smiled and said no I want to live they need me. The lady them smiled and said ok but this is a once in a lifetime chance are you sure. Yes I said. Ok and by the way your parents are proud of you she said an then she took her hands and pounded on my chest and that’s when the room disappeared and I felt the pain and I gasped for breath and my eyes flew open and Cole said Maddie. I focused on his face and gave him a weak smile and he was crying and he said I thought I lost you and he kissed me Dad was on my other side. The Emt’s guys arrived and they took me to the hospital Cole of course road with me and never let go of my hand and he said dad was bringing the kids in his car. He put a hand to the side of my face and I leaned my head into it and he said I was so scared baby I thought I lost you back there. I gave the best smile I could because whatever the Emts guys gave me was making me sleepy. It is going to take a lot more to get rid of me I said trying to fight the blackness again. Cole chucked and leaned in and kissed my forehead and said you can sleep baby its ok I will be here when you wake up. I whispered promise and when he said I promise I let the darkness take me. When I opened my eyes again I was lying in a dark room with just a light above me and I looked around and Cole was sleeping in a chair next to my bed holding my hand. I looked around and saw on the clock on the wall that it was 3:30 in the morning. I debated whether or not to wake him up when I felt a pain go through me and I squeezed his hand tight and he jumped up and looked at me and the pain passed and he said Maddie baby your awake. He kissed me and when he pulled away he looked at me again and my eyes filled with tears just thinking that I might never get to see him again and he said what baby are you in pain looking down at my stomach and I said I was scared that I would never get to see you again. He carefully hugged me and I could tell that he was crying to and he said I love you. I love you to I said. When we both calmed down he pulled the chair closer and I asked so what happened. Well after you passed out I had Leslie check to see if you were still breathing and she said you weren’t and captain ran over and grabbed her to get her out of the way and Ben came and helped with CPR and after about 3 mins of it you started breathing again and you opened your eyes again Cole said. I said I didn’t see Ben next to me. Captain changed jobs with him and let me tell you baby I have never seen so many men cry at one time but let me tell you that everyone was crying and they also had to do emergency surgery on you but you are going to be fine. He smiled and said you are loved baby thank you. Your welcome I said what are you thanking me for I asked? For coming back to me and he kissed me again. I kissed him back and then a nurse came in and said oh Madeline your awake. I looked over at Cole and said how long was I asleep for? A week and 2 days he said. My eyes grew wide. Wow I said. Yes and Cole here as barily left your side she said. I smiled at him. He smiled back and he took my hand and the nurse looked at my chart and she said well Madeline, I interrupted her by saying Maddie. Ok well Maddie your very lucky when you were brought in here you were bleeding internally so you went into surgery and we stopped the bleeding and got the bullet out and you are going to be fine but I was told that you are a cop and you need to take it easy for the next month she said looking at Cole than me. That means desk duty Cole said. Ugh I said. The nurse said it is very important that you take it easy Maddie the nurse said before leaving. Why me I said. Cole laughed. What I asked? Loving that I will have more time to hear his laugh. Nothing he said and he kissed my forehead. I pulled him down and he carefully got on the bed and carefully pulled me into his arms. I fell back asleep and when I awoke again I smelled Coffee and when I opened my eyes there was Leslie, sitting on the end of my bed with Trinity in her lap and Leslie was talking to dad and Ellie was sitting on Ben’s lap over by the window talking quietly to each other. Cole was watching a football game on the T.V. I smell coffee I said. Mama Leslie said and turned Dad grabbed Trinity and Leslie crawled up into my arms and I hugged her tightly. She was crying and I wiped her tears and said I’m ok baby. I kissed her head and said I love you. Dad gave me Trinity and she said mama and I hugged her and kissed her head and was crying with happiness. Cole took Leslie and Trinity to get some food and Dad came over to the side of my bed and said Hey baby girl how do you feel. I smiled and said I feel like I was shot. He smiled he leaned in and hugged me and said you scared me there baby don’t ever do that to me again. I laughed and said I will try. He laughed and said with you as a daughter I never know. I smiled and he kissed my cheek and said I have to get back to work and so does Ben. Ben walked over to the side of my bed and he said if there is anything I could do for you all you need to do is asked. Really I said. No dad said before I could speak again. What I asked. He can’t break you out dad said. I was speechless how I asked? I’m your father I can tell when the gears are turning in your head and I also know that you don’t like hospitals he said. They left and I took a deep breath and then I realized that Ellie was in the corner still sitting in the same place. Hey I said. She looked up at me and she had tears in her eyes and I could see that she was fighting them. She got up and slowly walked over to the edge of my bed and looked me over. I’m ok I said. That broke her down and she started crying. I opened my arms and she laid down on my bed and we hugged each other and she said I was so scared that I had lost the last of my family. It will take a lot more to get rid of me I said. She laughed and hugged me. I kissed her head and said I was scared to of never seeing Cole, Leslie, or you again, not getting to see Trinity grow up her not remembering me. I was crying harder and so was Ellie. When we both calmed down and nurse came walking into the room and walked over to me and said I have to change the bandage. I shook my head and Ellie got off the bed and the nurse opened my hospital gown and I looked down and there was a big bandage. The nurse peeled the bandage off and I looked down and there was a five inch cut with 10 stiches. I looked away at Ellie and I winced when the nurse touched it with something and Ellie took my hand and said just look at me. I did and then the nurse said this is going to hurt. Then the nurse touched it with something that was excruciatingly painful. I cried out and Ellie was trying to calm me down and I was crying and I had Ellie’s hand in an vice grip and started crusing the nurse when Cole came running into the room. He ran to the side of the bed and took my hand from Ellie and flexed her hand and said thanks. Ow I cried when the nurse did something else. I was crying and squeezing Cole’s hand. Finally the nurse finished and bandaged me up and said I’m sorry but I had to. I started calming down and Cole said we know to the nurse. She left and Ellie came to the other side of the bed and took my other hand and I pulled on her arm a little and she carefully climbed on the bed and hugged me and Cole wiped my tears. I clamed down and Cole went to the door and opened it and Leslie walked in helping Trinity walk in. Are you ok mama we heard you crying Leslie asked as Cole picked up Trinity and set her on Ellie. I touched Trinity’s head and smiled and Cole set Leslie on the bed and she crawled up to my side and laid her head down on my shoulder. I kissed her head and Cole turned on the TV and put on cartoons. I was still a little tired and so I let me eyes shut. When I woke up it was still light and I looked at the clock and it was 2:30. Ellie, Leslie, and Trinity were all asleep on the bed with me. I looked around the room and Cole wasn’t there. I was wondering were he went when the door opened and he walked in. I smiled and he said hey sweetheart how are you feeling? My stomach hurts I said. Then Ellie and Leslie started waking up. They sat up and Ellie got off the bed with Trinity in her arms Trinity wake up them and Cole walked over and took her. Leslie yawned and Ellie looked around and said I feel like ice cream come on Leslie lets go find some. Ok Leslie said and Ellie helped Leslie off the bed and then she went and said Hey Trin you want to come find ice cream with us. Ellie went over and took Trinity and they left. I winced because a pain shot through my stomach. He walked over and kissed my head and said I’m sorry I wish I could take all the pain away. I said that makes me feel loved. He looked at me and said baby you don’t know how much I love you I would give my life for you. Tears come into my eyes and I said I feel the same way you have given me everything I have ever wanted a family two beautiful daughters and a husband that I love with all my heart, you have always been there for me no matter what and I just wanted to tell you that I’m so grateful and just thank you. I just felt that, that was something I needed to say. I had tears running down my face and Cole climbed onto the bed with me and carefully pulled me into my arms and wiped my tears away and said I love you. He kissed me and I just wonder what I did to be this lucky. Over the next two months I got out of the hospital was on desk duty for a month and one week and finally was put back on active cop duty and Mark moved in with Jamie and that was working out very well. Mark and Leslie were always together you couldn’t pull them apart until it was time for them to come into the house and even then they had walkie talkies and talked to each other through those. Trin now picks up on every word that we say so we have to be very careful about what we say around her. So I don’t really have a happy ending because the story has ended yet so I guess that I will just have to see were life takes me and as long as my family is next to me I’m ready for anything life can throw at me.

Author's Note

sorry about the misspelled words :)