A Year Ago Last Saturday

The death of of a sixteen-year-old boy & the paramedic who will forever remember that night.

A Year Ago Last Saturday

By:  Joanne Flatt

November 23, 2004

A year ago last Saturday

It was nearing the end of my shift

I was thinking of getting off on time

A quiet day - a gift

A year ago last Saturday

Glad the day was almost done

A brand new rookie partner

I was glad there’d been no tones

Then just as I was packing up

My things all stowed away

Just when I thought I’d made it

Through another quiet day

The tones went off and we responded

To an accident miles away

In Balsam Grove on the side of the road

A young boy dying lay

A year ago last Saturday the young boy was alive

This Saturday -a year to the day -I took a long, hard ride

To the side of the road where I held that kid 

While he breathed his last and died

The roses I brought seemed so desolate 

against the wet tree bark

But I laid them at the base of that tree 

And prayed there in the dark

I had cried the whole way to the Grove 

my heart - a mother’s heart, was broken

Does he know I did all that I could?

Are my words to God’s ears spoken

A year ago last Saturday

A family was intact

Two paramedics at the end of their day

Their gear so neatly stacked

His mother met us at the hospital

She wailed a mother’s cry

When she saw my blood-stained uniform

She screamed: “Please don’t say he died!”

A fireman caught her as she collapsed

Into his arms in grief

Whose arms could possibly hold my pain

Though my time with him was brief?

A year ago last Saturday

that boy and I were strangers

He was a kid out having fun

Unaware of the waiting dangers

My own two children safe at home

Have no clue what I’ve been through

My husband watching TV says: “Hi”

My sadness lost to him to

I peeled the blood-soaked uniform

From my body wracked with pain

Working a code will wear you out

My heart and mind were drained

I struggled though a shower

And crawled into my bed

But I couldn’t get the pictures

Of the horror from my head

I went over every detail

Every step and drug and motion

I’d done everything in order

Nothing lost in the commotion

I pumped his chest and shouted orders

First responders all did their best

They followed every command I gave

as my partner decompressed his chest

The car had flipped and rolled over

Crushing him first and then

It threw his body into the trees

He was still breathing then

First responders heard him making sounds

The death rattle it is called

As they knelt there by his side

In shock - their actions stalled

Get him on a board I yelled

And be careful of his head!

I’m not saving him for a wheelchair!

I scolded them with dread

The signs were there

Crushed and twisted throughout

There really was no hope

But still I tried everything - no procedure was left out

A year ago last Saturday 

the helicopter couldn’t fly

The rain and fog had grounded it

They wouldn’t even try

The ER doc said “work it!”

My heart sank at his orders

How could he make me do this

I thought of my own two daughters

I wouldn’t want this for them

The punishment and abuse

The pounding - the drugs - the swelling

All this though we knew there was no use

A mother's son was gone

His young body broken and battered

A night of fun gone very wrong

His parent’s dreams for him now shattered

A year ago last Saturday

One mother lost her son

Another lost a fight with death

That couldn’t have been won

The roses I placed at the tree were for him

I bought a card for his mom and dad

But my heart wouldn’t let me see them

It took all the strength I had

How do I face them even now

I’m grieving just like they are

Perhaps in time perhaps somehow

I’ll finally get that far

For now I tear up when I hear his name

Or see his parking space at the school

How could this happen to a boy so young? 

How could fate have been this cruel?

His mom and I will share a cry

And hugs - perhaps a smile

But that won’t happen any day soon

No, not for quite a while

I feel the grieving of his friends

When I see them around town

I know I did all that I could

Yet still I can’t help but break down

For a year ago last Saturday

On a road in Balsam Grove

A young boy died there in my arms

Killed by the car his best friend drove

Author's Note

This is the true story of the death of a sixteen-year-old boy. I am the paramedic. Writing keeps me sane in a world that sometimes makes no sense.

Reviews

[FreeWriterExpres]

Thank you for sharing Joan, without a voice it's all for nothing.. as my grandfather always said in his writings for life is brief, cherish every waking moment :)