empathic

 

Where did we gather this bareness

clutching fallen starlight to our fluted perception

the grass next to the pavement all tumulted

footsteps in a tunnel

Like the hot spring bath, in snowdraped decorum

 

In a dream you awoke atop a hillside

Your compass spinning fast over rainsodden mess

Clouds amassed, at their center a grave storm impending

Before which you shuddered

Here I found you and smiled

and spoke

every warm word - to demolish the stress

 

The scene promptly melted

our inhibitions still strongly belted

and refreashed, we will rise

with our gapless minds

to greet the first triumphant rays of summer

softly beam down upon

our cast off worries

like wild tussocked hair...

 

You look to me with questions

like a song

with answers

and stories

and dreams

You think I'm strong

that I might leave you needing

that I might not read this story

and ponder

oh, sweet soft beam

I can assure you

twenty times over

It's the contrary.

 

 

Reviews

[Amanda]

a beautifully written poem that flows well. the imagery is wonderful. a great piece of work, i enjoyed it emmencely. good job.

Always,

Amanda

[H.]

Summer is my favorite season, and it was really nice to read about the transition from spring to summer! Of the four seasons and the four changes, I think summer and the change from spring to summer is probably the least written about. So thank you for that!

Very dreamlike. Just how in a dream you remember odd details here and there, the symbols that are the most important in the dream, so you chose to spend more words describing some of the smaller details that are really important in the entire scene. A lot of a dream is not what happens but how you feel and, oddly enough, how the other people in the dream feel. (You'd better know how they feel--they're a construction of your own imagination!)

I really like the first stanza's function. Its drab, desolate words make the dream sequence that followsfeel that much lighter and ethereal.

[PoemRodent]

Good imagery and flow. Connecting words to imagination so well.

Good Job!!

Dostani

[Legion]

I recognize your muse here (so many lines from memory). It is a wonderful piece and so much is said within the tell-tale lines that it smiles greatly. Warmth to you. :)

[Lia]

Great piece. Really enjoyed it. Thanks xx

[Emily B]

This is a lovely, gust of warm air. Your words tie in well with the title. A wonderful write.